The Paralyzing Power of Feeling Overwhelmed.

The paralyzing power of feeling overwhelmed and the NEGATIVE affect it has on your life.

The scenario;

We start a new career path or business, or maybe a new training and dieting program and because we are excited and motivated our intention is to do as MUCH as we can.

We want to do it all now and strike whilst our motivation and energy is highest. We feel we can take on the world, We want to be at our end goal NOW…

But because of this do we actually end up biting off more than we can chew or taking on more than we can handle? 

We try so hard to do it ALL, that we end up doing nothing and become paralyzed with feeling overwhelmed.

For example:

We try to do everything on our new diet, following the plan 100%, buy all the recommend supplements, the healthy foods, cooking clean meals, avoiding social events, cutting back on alcohol, sugar etc.

However after a few weeks we realise that we just can’t keep this pace so we end up stopping. Or we adjust the diet to fit and end up doing less and less until we eventually go back to eating how we did before we started.

Let’s say the goal is to get in shape so we hit the gym 5-6 x per week, every week. Doing classes, HIIT training, cardio, weights, core work etc…We try and fit it all in but we get tired, burned out, we miss sessions and then get peed off. The more this happens the higher our chances are of stopping. We started out by doing more exercise than we can physically and mentally handle and the only way forward is to do less. The problem with doing ‘less’ is we can feel like we’re failing.

Maybe we start doing a sport and we try to progress quickly because we want to get good at it sooner rather than later. We try and develop the fitness, the strength, the skills and knowledge that go with the sport, But its a long process. We end up realising that their’s soooo much to it that we haven’t got time to fit it in. So we either continue to feel overwhelmed and underprepared in the sport, feeling like we aren’t good enough…Or we quit.

Maybe we start a new career or open a new business, we start doing everything, reading and learning everything. Going onto courses, building our skills, marketing, getting new clients, networking, branding, tax returns., accounts, sales, employment, trying to get ahead, putting more hours in…The list goes on.

We dive in the deep end and try and swim. We try and keep pace but realise that we are doing everything, and none of it to the standard needed to create a successful business or a flying career. We realise we can’t keep this pace so we feel stressed, burned out, anxious. We start to procrastinate on tasks, decisions, things don’t move forward as quickly as we’d like. So we start to panic, get frustrated and stress ourselves out.

We’re not growing the business at the rate we want. We’re spending almost every waking minute consumed by the business/career. Over time we’ll spend year upon year driving everyone close to us away and all we’ll have is a business/job that you LIVE to work for, becoming a slave to it. And every waking day is just a series of stresses and overwhelm.

In most of these situations feeling OVERWHELMED is the core of it all. This sometimes can become so intense that we end up procrastinating. And this means we end up doing NOTHING…Which makes us feel MORE overwhelmed and stressed… So the cycle continues. 

Overwhelm

Why does this happen?

Because as humans and we already have a full plate in our lives. We’re already doing and juggling so much, especially in the modern world where we WANT to have it all.

HOWEVER we only have so much time, energy and mental space for so many things (Work, Family, Fitness, Fun, Sport, Eating, Sleeping, Social time, Down Time, Personal development)…especially if we want to have everything that life offers.

So what SHOULD we do?

“Swing Singles”.

The key is to take small BUT consistent swings at life, or put differently just take one step at a time…aka Swing Singles.

The aim is to do JUST ONE THING, OR TAKE THAT ONE STEP that moves you closer to your goal/s. And ONLY one thing until this becomes a permanent part of your daily routine

Then once we’ve done that we can focus on the next step WHILST continuing to do step 1.

For example:

+ If you want to improve your nutrition then change ONE eating habit. For example eat a healthy breakfast 6 days per week for 4 weeks. This ingrains the HABIT. Just do ONE thing. Leave everything else until you can consistently eat a healthy breakfast. Don’t worry about lunch, dinner, snacks etc. Don’t worry about gluten and sugar content right now. Just nail down 1 meal. Get that right first and THEN move on.

+ If you want to improve your fitness and you DON’T exercise right now, then start with doing 10minutes of exercise 3 x per week. If you do exercise then just increase what you do by 10%. So if you run 5miles 3 x per week then run 5.5miles. Avoid trying to add in 1-2 more sessions per week, or trying to go 5 x per week. You’re got to do things that are manageable. Start small then build up.

+ If you want to grow your business choose 1 AREA to work on and do this consistently for 4 weeks. If it’s sales that could be make 1 phone call to a perceptive client 5 days per week for 4 weeks. Then do 2 per day and so now. Ingrain the habit of ‘DOING’ into your schedule.

It sounds so simple…And it is in theory.

What makes this strategy work is YOUR doing something that will have a positive affect on the area of life you wish to improve. Doing something that is manageable and then ‘doing it’ over and over again (swinging singles) until it brings results.

Results aren’t achieved by hitting a ‘home run’ every once in a while or trying to keep hitting them over and over even when you keep missing. This one hit wonder mentality and trying to do it ALL in one go, is what’s leaving you feeling more overwhelmed because you continue to miss the long term results.

The key is to keep hitting that ball for a single. Then move to base one, then hit it for another single and you move to base 2 etc etc. I’m using a Baseball metaphor to describe Swing Singles…But I think it fits really well.

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Most people try this all or nothing approach. It’s all in at 100%. But then after 3-4 weeks or so motivation drops and every week they end up doing less, 90%, 80%, 70% etc. Until they end up doing ZERO…Sound familiar?

However when you swing singles the approach is to do 10% this week, then 20% next month, then 30% and so on. We continue to move forward and do MORE…Not do less.

Once you have that one habit ingrained into you and your DAILY routine for about a 28day time period…Then start the next habit, swing that next single. And repeat the process…This strategy works. 

Swing singles everyday and that is when the magic happens.
Remember you are human, your not a robot. You can’t keep doing more and more, you’ll burn out, get overwhelmed, stressed and frustrated…Then you’ll quit.

Flip this on its head, do less now. Start small and build upon these habits over time.

The art of swinging singles is the secret to LONG TERM success.

Alpha Dave

It’s Not What You Do…It’s How You Do It.

It’s not what you do…It’s how you do it that counts.

Have you ever heard this saying before…

“How you do something is how you do everything”. 

For any entrepreneur, athlete or professional how you do ANYTHING is how you do EVERYTHING, It’s the STANDARDS you hold yourself to.

This relates to everything from your:

  • Character.
  • Attitude.
  • Professionalism.
  • Commitment.
  • Mindset.
  • Positivity.
  • How you deal with adversity.
  • Work ethic.
  • Determination.
  • Organisation.
  • Communication skills…The list goes on.

 

Let’s take attitude for a moment and use it in a context of a persons outlook and approach in life, And lets take it on something very simple like ‘time management’.

If you’re in business and you are always LATE. Late for meetings, late for clients, always have people waiting for you because you have poor time management this becomes a reflection of your attitude.

When it comes to those people who are doing business with you then your poor time management reflects on their opinion of you, how might conduct business and your standards. So they COULD get the opinion that you don’t value their time. That your product and service may also be late in delivery or service. That you can’t stick to time frames and schedules. That you may promise things and not deliver on your word.

All of these have consequences on whether people will continue to do business with you now and in the future.

All because you we were late for meeting/s.

How you do anything is how you do everything. 

So flip this on it’s head and let’s say your early for your meeting.

You’re punctual, You’re well prepared. They’re business matters to you. Your smart, your attitude is one that cares.

This then reflects on how they perceive you are in day to day business and it all comes down to something as simple your time management, because it’s the standards you hold yourself to.

How you do something is how you do everything. 

And this goes for athletes, business owners, people you are in a relationship with and anyone you come into contact with.

Your attitude, mindset, positivity, outlook, professionalism, work ethic etc will reflect in everything you do good or bad.

This is why your character is probably more important than your skill and ability level. You could be the most gifted athlete on the planet but if your work ethic sucks then it’s very unlikely you’re going to reach the peak in your sport.

However let’s say you at a good athlete, not the most naturally gifted BUT you work your ass off in training, in recovery, with your diet and never give less than 100% in everything you do…The likely hood of this person succeeding is dramatically increased over the more gifted athlete who has a weaker character.

Working on your character and attitude is just as important as brushing up on your skills and knowledge. And YES character is learned.

Sure we get a lot of it when we grow up and these are instilled in us during our upbringing…Both our good and not so good traits. But we can always work to be an improved human being…

It’s a state of mind.

Aiming to become a better, more rounded person and becoming a master of yourself and your mind is the ultimate personal journey.

Working on your mindset, outlook, positivity, dedication, self control, confidence, humility and commitment will make you a better person, strengthen your character and better in whatever you do in life.

These things just like any skills have to be worked on and improved. And by doing so you’ll grow to that next level in life.

The truth is you can’t have more in life if you can’t become MORE.

What I mean by this is, you can’t have more happiness, success, freedom, love, money, fun, humility, confidence to name a few if you can’t become MORE of a person yourself.

Just by being the same you as you are right now won’t take you to that next level in your life because you won’t grow. And without growth there is no progress.

You must grow as person in all areas and this starts with a desire to be and become more than you already are.

Develop your character and your level of success with dramatically increase.

Dare to be Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Focus on THE PROCESS And You’ll Reach Your Goal.

‘Focus on THE PROCESS and you’ll maximise the outcome you want’.

The process is something many coaches, athletes and consultants focus more on rather than getting fixated on JUST the goal.

Before we jump in let me be clear, Goals are VERY important. Having an outcome you are aiming for gives you direction. However if all we focus on is THE OUTCOME, It can sometimes seem like we’re chasing something that is way way off in the distance.

Our attention could be to far ahead and screwing up us ‘maximising’ what really counts when it comes to us getting the results we want…The here and now.

What’s key is that we focus on the present and what we can control in the NEXT STEP we’re going to take. And this can be anything like;

Your next workout. Your next work presentation. The next meal your going to eat. These are the things you can focus on and CONTROL.

The issue for many people is that they ONLY focus on the outcome they want and miss everything else.

When we set ourselves an outcome that’s only 10% of the picture, it gives us an end point.

What we need next is a plan. A day by day to-do list or better put…A PROCESS.

The process is what we need to do every hour of every day for us to reach the goal/outcome we have set ourselves…The things we CAN control.

The process is what we follow. And if done correctly with the right attention to detail, focus, ability, consistency, grit, positivity and patience then we can have what it takes to reach our goals.

There’s a lot more that goes into this mix than just the goal and its process…However get these right and you’re well on your way.

So lets say you have a clearly defined goal in mind…

NEXT, Start to think about what you need to do to reach your goal.

+ What do you need to learn, what new skills do you need, what new abilities, what technical elements do you need to do, have, know. What knowledge do you need?

+ What coaching or outside support, influence do you need? 

+ What’s the time frame for the goal? 

+ What bench marks will you put along the way to track progress so you know you’re on track? 

+ What contiguity’s will you put in place for when things don’t go to plan or for future challenges you KNOW will come up? 

+ And MOST importantly are you passionate about the process? 

All of the above need to be serious food for thought when it comes to planning ‘how you’ll reach your goal’. And there’s ONE additional part that slots in here…

Your PASSION.

Being passionate about what your doing everyday will make your journey sooooo much easier. And this is the key. You being passionate about the process.

ONLY being passionate about the possibilities of you achieving your goal is going to cause you a lot of problems. As people we tend to quickly avoid things we dislike or that make us feel uncomfortable, This is human nature.

So it’s very unlikely that you’re going to follow a plan every day for the foreseeable future if you DON’T enjoy it or aren’t passionate about it.

Take for example something like, losing weight and getting fit. This is something many people struggle with. They love the idea of being in shape…But hate the application of it. They dislike exercise and dieting. They start off well due to motivation or being inspired. But once this wears off and all that’s left are early morning/late night gym sessions, going out running in the rain and eating clean foods whilst you pass on your nightly beer or glass of wine…It’s easy to see why people quit.

Those who see LONG TERM success with their fitness and bodies are those that love the process. They love exercise or at the very least enjoy it. Eating healthy is enjoyable and makes them feel good. Over time they stay consistent with their process and they end up reaching their goals.

And this is true for ANY goal in life.

The idea of the outcome (GOAL) is what motivated and inspires us to START. This surge of motivation pushes us over the hump and gets us going. However as this fades off we need to be left with passion for the daily process…The daily work. If we are then we are much more likely to succeed.

If we aren’t…Then for 99% of us, we’ll probably quit.

The process is king and where we need to find fulfilment, success and happiness. The goal is the cherry on the top.

When you can EVERY day fully submerse yourself into the task at hand with your only aim to maximise the outcome of this ONE task, and do this day after day consistently…

Mixed with your ability, dedication, commitment, hard work and focus with intense passion…

Then will you reach your full potential.

 

Dare to be Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

It Doesn’t Matter How Big or Small…Progress is Progress.

When we are flying high its easy to stay on track with our goals…BUT what happens when we stagnate for a period and start to struggle?

What can we do to keep us moving forward and NOT quitting?

When it comes to your goals, your ambitions, chasing down your dreams in ANY area of life the MAIN thing we ‘want’ to see and feel happen is…PROGRESS.

If we are a goal orientated person we have a need to feel like we’re moving forward and getting closer to the outcome we want…

And when we are making progress we feel happy.

However when we stagnate for a period of time we think somethings wrong. We stop believing in what we are doing and we can even start doubting ourselves and our journey.

Here’s the thing…

How much progress can and should we make at any given time when it comes to our goals?

Speaking truthfully there is NO time scale for any of us that dictate’s we should achieve goal X in X amount of time.

Of cause we can plan, prepare, set targets for ourselves to attain our goal/s…This then gives us something to work towards. It gives us boundaries, time scales and something to believe in.

However all the planning and preparing in the world ISN’T a guaranteed science.

The time it takes to achieve your goal/s is so varied that NO one can ever truly say how long it can or will take.

And this goes for ANY goal from losing 2stone to something like winning an Olympic Gold Medal.

All we can ever truly hope for is progress…The feeling of moving forward or getting somewhere near the outcome we want. 

The speed of that progress is affected both directly and indirectly by us.

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For an example let’s take something like aiming to drop 2stone.

At first the progress can be quite fast.

Losing 2-4lbs per week. By adding in exercise and eating healthy the weight comes off quickly over the first 2-4 weeks. This person loses a stone in around 4-6 weeks.

Then as they start to work on losing the 2nd stone things start to slow down.

So they up their training intensity and eat a little heathier.

They continue to lose weight but it’s slower, 1-2 lbs per week.

Then they reach a point where they stagnate, the last 6lbs. They have lost 1 1/2 stone’s in 8-10 weeks but now those last few lbs won’t shift.

However as they continue to exercise and because of this they are stronger, fitter, they wake up on a morning and feel energised. There skin is clear and healthy. They feel happier and healthier than they have done in years.

So they’re STILL making progress with their body and health, so progress is still being made.

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Here’s where the magic happens…When we see positive improvements in ANYTHING from;

Body, fitness, strength, business, relationships, income, self confidence…

We are MUCH more likely to keep doing the things that are making those improvements and when we stay consistent so over time we eventually reach our goals.

BUT the key to success is continuing to work on your goals when your progress has stagnated. This is where MOST people stop, give up or quit. It takes a very committed person with the right people around them to push through in times of self doubt and struggle.

The way to look at this is this…If you keep going, stick at it, make small adjustments to certain areas and stay patient then eventually you’ll break through the wall and move closer to your goal. 

BUT if you quit, give up, stop trying then you are guaranteeing that you’ll NEVER reach it. 

 

The aim is ALWAYS to keep going because progress is progress and it doesn’t matter how big or how small that it.

 

If you’re looking for giant leaps forward, big life transforming moments, or over night success then you have probably bought into some BS notion that people are successful overnight. Some media hyped crap that anyone can make it and success is easily achieved without little sacrifice.

HOWEVER…Any successful individual in sport, business, career, love, life has put years and years of hard work, sacrifice, commitment, persistence into chasing their dreams…And all your seeing is their efforts paying off. You’re seeing the fruits of their hard work.

If you desire success and to achieve your goals you’ll need all the above and on top of that you’ll need a lot of…Patience.

Be patient, follow your plan, say focused and make progress. It doesn’t matter how big or how small just keep moving forward.

Dare to be Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The EDGE of Our Comfort Zone and Life.

“When we reach the edge of our comfort zone we tend to think about our lives and the point we’re reached”.

Our mind gives us reasons as to WHY we can’t go past this point.

Our mind tells us it’s not safe.

Our mind tells us that we could fail.

We tell ourselves stories as to why this is our limit and we should step back from the edge.

We also contemplate our lives, journey and path when we reach this point.

Is this right for me?

Am I making the right choice?

How did I end up here?

We think about our lives.

At this point a decision is made…

Do you push through the pain, the unknown, the possibly of rejection, the possibility of failure…

Do you leap over that edge and allow the world to open up further for you?

Or do you hold back and say…”This is it for me”?

We ALL have our edge…Even the most gifted, talented, hard working people in the world have a point they reach that they don’t want OR need to go past.

You’ve just got to be happy with where yours is.

If not keep pushing and going past it until you reach the edge of your comfort zone.

That point of fulfilment, achievement, happiness and contentment.

Dare to reach your edge…Dare to be Alpha.

David.