Stressed and Burned Out, Here’s WHY I Work With Men.

Have you ever been in that place, mentally, physically or emotionally?

That Stressed out or mentally and physically burned out place?

Maybe you’re in a struggle right now with both of these.

I speak to so many guys at business events or online who tell me they’re struggling right now and don’t know what to do, so they just keep trying to plow on, head down and ‘Get On With It’.

Or they have been broken and have started to put themselves back together again.

To be fair you could also be in a place of feeling stressed out, lost and overwhelmed but you’re not on your knees…But perhaps you’re just struggling with clarity, direction, energy or confidence because of it.

The issue I’m bringing up here is that at some point in time we are all going through, will go through it it or have gone through stressed, burn out, anxiety and maybe even depression.

I’ve been there myself.

I’ve been so stressed out I was lashing out. Taking my anger and frustration out on my fiancee.

I was in that place where all I wanted to do was discover what the hell I was doing and where I was going with my life…Sounds so simple right?

Probably one of the hardest things I ever had to do because I was looking in all the wrong places. It’s almost like you can see the signs, the lack of sleep, the anxiety, the stress, the anger, the frustration, the delusion…BUT it’s hard to pull yourself out of it.

I was always thinking that “When I get this, or make this much money, or get here in business…Everything else will take care of it’s self”

How WRONG I WAS.

It just didn’t matter what I did, I couldn’t figure it out.

And because of this, everything else I looked at in my life wasn’t up to standard…My own perspective on the situation.

I would look at other parts of my life and recent them. I even resented the success of my fiance whose career was taking off whilst I was stuck.

I was becoming bitter under the surface whilst smiling on the outside.

And you know what?

I look back now and I’m like, who the hell was that guy?

I can say I have come out the other side of this, but it was no miracle cure. It wasn’t like I read one book or took one course and BOOM my life transformed.

I did 2 years of solid soul searching and self-discovery.

I did 2 years of serious self-development.

I did 2 years of getting to know me, all my insecurities, self doubts, fears, judgements, emotions, self awareness…As well as all the things in my life that are great, my success, my achievements, what makes me happy.

I just worked on me.

Now I don’t think it takes that for everyone, some people it can take a few months, some people a life time and I guess everyone else in the middle.

This is why YOUR Journey is your journey and no one else can say…

HERE, I can fix you in 5 steps.

I always smell BS, and I bet you do too!

What it does take to start is awareness of the problem, or awareness that you even have a challenge.

Being aware that you are stressed, struggling and maybe even burned out.

After awareness, it’s clarity.

This is why I put my Man-Unleashed together in the first place.

I wanted to create a place, a program and a coaching environment where men could go and develop who we are, in a non judgemental space.

I know what it’s like, I struggled to be open and honest round others. We see it as a sign of weakness, right?

However, it’s actually a sign of strength. To say you are struggling, to be honest and open and ask for a little help…IS STRONG.

To be your true and authentic self and put that person in life…IS STRENGTH.

So I’ve created a program that can enable men to be open about their struggles, get clear on who they want to become and then map out a way of getting there…

WHILST being their true selves.

I work with men because I have been ‘that’ guy, the guy who on the outside looks like he had it together but on the inside was crumbling.

I got myself together, and I’m still working on who I am…I eventually found my voice and the self confidence to put it out there, so helping other guys to do the same.

WHY?

So these men can show up to each part of their life and live life as the very best version of themselves. Be the best farther, husband, friend, manager, boss, colleague, leader they can be.

David

PS: If you are a man who has read this and it resonates with you and you yourself are feeling challenged in life and not where you want to be, Message me at wilkinsondj@hotmail.co.uk . 

Are You Being Your BEST, TRUE Self?

In life can you honestly say you are being your best, true self? By this I mean are you being honest with who you are, confident to live as you, And always be yourself no matter the situation?

Do you have the confidence to be yourself and present that to the outside world?

At school and college I was always shy and really lacked the confidence to be myself, share my truth or put myself out there. Looking back I feared rejection so I kept myself down, hid away and didn’t share my real self unless it was with people I trusted.

This got me thinking, How many people other people are hiding themselves away or diming their light because they lack the confidence to ‘just’ be themselves at work, in business, socially, or even at home?

Or they adjust their personality to suit various situations or people? I’ve done this as well. Shown different sides of myself to certain people so they might accept me.

The reality is you can and should always be your True, Real and Authentic self and by doing so you’ll always bring the BEST version of yourself to each part of your life.

If people are unable or unwilling to accept the true you, well then I’d say **** them. Be YOU and find those people who accept you for who you are.

However the POWER in my opinion is you have to accept YOURSELF first. Hiding your true self away will only cause you pain and keep your light dim.

So how do you gain the confidence to be yourself, put yourself out there and be the best version of yourself? 

1) Accept who you currently are.

Learn who you are, what you are about and your values as a person. Discover yourself both your good and bad sides (we all have them).

Then accept yourself. Self acceptance goes a hell of a long way in boosting self belief and understanding your true value. Sure you’ll have to accept the ‘not so good’ parts of you, but if those parts hinder you…Then look at No.2.

2) Change, Adapt or Advance what doesn’t fit for you. 

If there’s a part of your personality that doesn’t fit your life and causes you pain…Work on changing it. Don’t be a arse **** and just accept it.

Adjusting our behaviour/s is essentially what we must do to develop as people. So it’s just a case of changing negative, damaging, disempowering behaviours with more positives ones. I won’t BS, this is tough, however over time with the right support, you can do this.

3) Know your worth

Know your true worth and value in all parts of life. Know what you bring to the world and honor that. Honor your gifts, personality, value and shine your light on the world around you.

4) Practise.

It sounds simple but just practise being you. Go to places and groups where you don’t know anyone and be you. Put yourself out there without fear of judgement or the need to be accepted. Then once you have confidence here, be you with those closest to you, those people can often be the toughest for us to be ourselves around.

5) Focus on something else. 

When you feel the fear of being your true self, or putting yourself out there, focus on something else. Be interested in other people, ask them questions and focus on getting to know them.

Direct your attention somewhere else and be curious of others and that will help you relax.

6) Repeat all the above and keep pushing to be you.

It’s not easy and it may take you a long time, but it’s worth it because the alternative is always you keeping you down, hiden, trapped and not valuing yourself…

Probably the worst thing you can do to yourself mentally is not valuing who you REALLY are.

 

David

PS: I’ll be launching a series of MasterMind coaching events soon just for guys. 

Focusing on helping men to level up their mind and body to reach their truest potential.

The best way to think of your potential in my opinion is;

“You know that you are capable of doing and being much more in this world…But right now you feel like you’re being held back or not confident to go ahead and become that person. Your potential and all you are capable of is being subdued”. 

My one day events will help you lay the foundations to overcome your adversities, overcome challenges you face and step up to being all you can be.

PPS: If you’re a guy, head to the link below and get notified first about the event. PLUS get my Man-Unleashed Daily Guide to super charge your Fitness, Focus, Finance and Fulfilment. 

https://mailchi.mp/49b84add0c9a/man-unleashed

What The Hell is Personal Development

What the hell is Personal Development and why should you care?

Personal development for me is about growing and enhancing a person’s self awareness, capabilities, skills, behaviours and self confidence to uncover and unleash someone’s full potential.

It’s helping a person get past their limiting beliefs or self doubts and in truth it’s about getting MORE out of yourself so you can DO, BE and ACHIEVE all you are in any area of Life, Business, Career and Body.

In short personal development is about growing as a person in one area of life or all areas. However I believe for the BEST results its about levelling up in every area.

What I teach my clients is that their goal is off in the future, a bigger ‘thing’ they are trying to reach or accomplish. So compared to their goal they are smaller, further away and currently NOT ready to achieve it, Because if they could…They would have already.

It’s like taking on their own mountain but having to learn to climb first to reach the top.

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Knowing where you are right now is about establishing reality and current positioning, any coach that BS a client at this point isn’t helping them, they are hindering them. Knowing where you are, warts and all is essential.

So personal development is what bridges the gap between where you are right now and the goal you desire.

It’s centred around growing as a person in mind, body, skill, capabilities and confidence so you can conquer that goal. It’s you levelling up and becoming more as an individual…So now you are capable of attaining and owning your goal.

 

Without self development we wouldn’t have laid the foundations to reach our goal or hold on to it.

Any worthwhile goal is achieved this way, hence why personal development is critical.

I base my coaching around developing people and helping them get more out of themselves…More than they ever thought possible so they can set goals, increase their capabilities and then own the sh*t out of their goals.


The Process

My approach is based on 3 critical steps to show a person how to develop towards their goal/s:

  1. Clarity

  2. Confidence

  3. Performance


Clarity

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This is about gaining clarity around who you are and what you want. This for me is essential and was one area of life I was really stuck in. I just couldn’t get clear on who I was or what I wanted.

Often this is the part people miss and they design their wants by what others around them have or do. They basis their requirements off what they ‘think’ they should do or have and worse still what society or social media dems to be right.

This is making people feel more lost, isolated and frustrated than ever before.

By doing some deep self discovery work you can understand YOU, who you are and what life you want to experience everyday. In all honesty your career, business, income, home, relationships and lifestyle are behind this in order of clarity.

This part is about you and knowing what turns you on, what makes you tick and what inspires you. Everything else is there to enable this to happen.

Clarity is very difficult to achieve on your own because it requires you being asked great questions by a coach that can help you think deeper and really question yourself.


Confidence

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Another essential piece to the puzzle because a lack of self belief is the number ONE reason most people don’t achieve their goals or start in the first place.

A limiting belief, fear, doubt or insecurity is holding more people back from going after what they truly want than any other barrier.

So building self confidence, awareness and emotional intelligence is huge. A big part of my coaching is build around becoming self assured in who you are and what you are capable of. This is much more than just reciting positive talk. It’s about practising self confidence and knowing you.

Yes confidence is practised. I will have you look at any area of your life right now you feel confident and comfortable in. May be its work, or a hobbie..

Now ask yourself how long have you been doing that for? What makes you confident at it? How many hours have you put into it?

Confidence is partly about discovering yourself. Partly about doing something over and over to get better at it, and…Well you’ll have to become a client to find out the rest 🙂

Once you build self esteem you’ll be unstoppable.


Performance

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The final piece to the personal development system is performance.

Increasing your performance is essential because you can not become all you can be with the same habits, mindset, behaviours and actions you use now, Think about that.

There will be certain behaviours and habits you have right now that help you and you’ll be able to move forward with. However some are hindering you and you’ll need to ditch them or maybe you can re-shape them into better habits.

Increasing performance is all about optimising how you Think, Act, Behave, Eat, Move, Sleep and Produce to enhance you as a person. Giving you greater energy, clarity, focus, production and awareness…And reducing stress, overwhelm, fatigue, burn out and procrastination.

Once you have the clarity and the confidence, NEXT you require the high performance habits that will get you doing what you want to do every day to get you to your objectives.

I coach my clients how to enhance what they do so they can set out each day fully equipped to take it on.


What Next?

So the goal or objective you have set for yourself will become achievable once you can do the above 3 steps, Add into the mix; Strategic planning, breaking down limiting beliefs, accountability and daily action steps and you have yourself one hell of a system.

Are you frustrated because you’re struggling to gain clarity around your next career or business move?

Do you struggle with self confidence when it comes to making certain decision or actions?

Are you an ambitious person but feel lost or like you’ve reached a ceiling and not sure what to do next?

Would you like to become a more effective business owner or leader to reach a higher level of income and success?

Do you want to reduce stress and self doubt WHILST gaining balance in your Life, Body and Business for more fulfilment, value and success?

If so, then I am here to help!

If you are a corporate professional or business owner I will take you through a personally tailored program that meets your needs.

No more living or playing the game of life at an average level…It’s time to become all you can be.

I will work with you 1-1 for 3-12 months to help you get more out of yourself personally and professionally than you ever thought possible.

If you are interested in what I offer and would like to speak further, then message  at wilkinsondj@hotmail.co.uk or contact me via LinkedIn HERE