Entrepreneurial Self Care

Arguably the BIGGEST missing piece for most high level business leaders and owners is their ability to prioritise time just for themselves, even before their business and family.

Now before you get p*ssed off and argue about why you’re kids are your number one priority and how your role is to provide for the family…

Stay with me and I’ll explain.

More and more business owners are becoming burned out, isolated, stressed out, depressed, unhealthy, overly anxious and are a slave to their business and customers.

On top of this, they’re struggling at home, neglecting their partner or wife, and this is causing friction. Limited quality time with their kids often due to working late or feeling the need to work weekends. Then when they do spend time with those they love, they aren’t being fully present, often on the phone, checking email, feeling guilt over needing to work or their mind is racing with mental chatter.

The most used responses from any man that is in this situation is…

“I’m doing this for my family, so I can give them a good life.”

“When I reach X amount of money or the business is at X size, then I can take more time off.”

“I struggle to relax. I just like to keep busy.”

These worn out lines continued to be used as an excuse to cover up a cycle of behaviour that neither serves them, their business or their happiness.

It becomes a cocktail of mental and physical fatigue, mashed together with low energy, poor moods and irritable behaviour, sprinkled with neglecting habits.

How do I know this?

Well, I’ve used these lines myself for years, until I found a healthier way. I also hear these coming out the mouth of my clients, until I coach them to find a better way.

If you are reading this because it relates to you, I almost guarantee that if I looked at your diary your week would be heavily scheduled with work commitments, obligations and appointments.

Your default will be to schedule work first, then with whatever time is left you can have a life around that, Am I right?

There will likely be little to NO time in there for your own self care, down time or even things that excite and energise you.

Very little family scheduled time unless it’s an appointment or obligation.

This is the way most high performing Men plan out their lives.

Business is priority because in business I can make money to help the family, it’s the old hunter, gather mentality.

Trust me when I say this, I get it.

There’s NOTHING wrong with wanting to provide for your family and give them the best, it’s human nature.

However are they getting the BEST version of you?

I have already alluded to the fact that you’ll probably have limited self care time in your dairy.

Self care means time you work on yourself or give yourself mental, physical and emotional space. Things like; working out, walking, down time, relaxation, self-development, meditation, journaling, reading, music, fun activities, hobbies, etc.

And some form of self care…DAILY!!!

Why is this so important?

High performers are so focused on output that we forget to do any form of input.

We focus on productivity, motivation, building business, serving customers, being there for our wives, partners, kids, friends, working hard, working longer hours, more obligations and more commitments, to-do-lists, etc.

We are always giving out.

But when are we putting in?

Imagine you are a battery and every day you give energy outwards, your battery power goes down.

Most people’s only form of recharge is sleep (most of the time that’s not great anyway) , zoning out watching TV or boozing on a night to switch off.

But there’s no real space for recharging the batteries OR increasing your battery size.

If every day, week, month and year all you do is give outward YOU will run down and this means you continue to show up less powerfully year on year.

Your customers and vendors get a watered-down version of you, and you continue to struggle to achieve your goals or set bigger goals.

Also, your family and loved ones also get a lesser version of you.

This shows through when you are more moody, irritable, low energy, have a lot of mental chatter and always think you need to be somewhere else or doing something else when you are with them.

Then come the resentment, the frustrations, the lack of intention and that feeling like all you ever do is give outward, making you feel less fulfilled and less happy.

Are your family, customers or employees really getting the BEST version of you if you continue to show up like this?

The answer is NO!

If you are in this space or feel like you are heading towards it, nows the time for…

COMMITTED, CONSISTENT SELF CARE!

Thank you for reading.

David

PS:

If you feel stuck in this place then here’s how I can help;

1) Continue to check in on my profile and read my articles, blogs, posts and watch my videos. I continue to share weekly content to help high performing guys show up as the best version of themselves.

2) Direct message me if you are ready to take action on this and find out how I can support you to create the business you want whilst living your best life.

Are You Making Business Too HARD For Yourself?

Are you making building a business or creating a successful life too HARD for yourself?

Do you often find yourself procrastinating on your daily tasks and to-do-lists?

Do you find yourself continuing to “put off” those tasks that seem hard or those actions that would have you feeling more uncomfortable if you did them?

Are you telling yourself that building a business is “hard” work and that it’s going to take years before you see any real return?

Have you said to yourself, “I need to get out of my comfort zone more, I’m NOT doing enough or pushing myself enough”?

If you have ever said any of those things to yourself I am hear to say, you are potentially setting yourself up to FAIL!

The motivational mantras and success gurus out there tell us that we NEED to get out of our comfort zone to create success and that life begins outside of the comfort zone…

This is total horse SH*T.

 

The problem is that we mix these worn out success lines and phrases into our already fagaile, negative self talking mindset.

On average 80% of the thoughts we have as humans are negative.

So pile into that more phrases and thoughts that make us feel like we aren’t good enough, that what we are doing isn’t enough and that we have to not feel fear anymore to create success, is just making the situation worse.

On a daily basis, people are getting up and telling themselves that they aren’t good enough, or that they are lazy, unmotivated, that they aren’t working hard enough…

These leads down a road of constant procrastination.

Then to top it off, at the end of the day they feel guilty because they haven’t worked on their business, done their to-do-list and instead have spent the day scrolling the internet instead of building a business…

Then the fear kicks in and the negative self talks starts again.

This cycle is breaking more business ambitions globally than the COVID-19 pandemic EVER will.

 

What’s going on?

 

What’s going on here is you believe you need to be a outside of your comfort zone to create success…

But you have an ‘inner competing commitment’ inside of you that it telling you not too.

The example I give is;

You want to cross the road, you are standing on one side and you can see that when you cross the road and reach the other side that all the success you want is over there waiting for you. You know that’s exactly where you want to be.

So you go to cross the road because all your motivation and inner desire is there in you, But as you step off the curb you stop and you notice all the cars, vans and traffic that is flying up and down the road.

You hesitate because you start to feel fear, How can you cross this road safely now?

Your fear is your inner competing commitment because it’s keeping you safe, but now you feel guilty and like a failure because you can’t overcome that fear and move.

You start to question your entire personality and everything you think about yourself. Before you know it you’ve worn yourself down with added stress, anxiety and crippling self doubts.

Now you think success is only for the brave, those who don’t feel fear and that you aren’t enough, so what’s the point. Fear has won!

You end up sitting on that curb frozen or turn around and go back to what you know, flight.

When in actual fact the answer was there all along and what you didn’t realise was that you don’t need to try and rush across the road and be brave.

You need to take a step back and take a break. Accepting that you want to get to the other side but you don’t need to risk yourself to get there.

By taking a step back and looking around you notice there’s a footbridge that crosses the road to your left. You can take the foot bridge and safely cross the road WITHOUT getting massively out of your comfort zone. That footbridge (alternative route) was there along, but because you weren’t lifting your head up you didn’t see it.

 

You can create success by “moving” in your comfort zone.

 

See the powerful word here is MOVE!

We create success by doing, by taking action, by moving.

If you move inside your comfort zone, complete actions that you feel comfortable doing and that still align to building your business, then you WIN.

When we feel fear we often freeze, we procrastinate and we put off the doing part. Then we do something that makes us feel relaxed or brings the stress levels down…But what we didn’t do was move positively.

If we move inside our comfort zone and we take consistent action then this creates success far quicker, easier and in a much more fluid way.

Building a business, getting in shape, speaking on stage, putting yourself out to the world, posting on social media, running a marathon…These aren’t easy and they all come with a level of commitment and self discipline required.

However we don’t need to slap the “It’s hard” label onto them.

If I’m not a runner and I want to train for a Marathon, I don’t tell myself that today on my first day of training that I need to run hard and I have to run 26 miles…That would be madness right?

I just tell myself I can go out and run 1 mile today. One mile is in my comfort zone because I know I can run or at the very least walk 1 mile. But when I run that 1 mile today I grow in confidence because I completed it.

This gives me momentum to run 1.5 miles next time.

We can choose to approach ANY goal we have and do it with more ease and enjoyment, it’s a state of mind, it’s about finding our footbridge and taking that one step at a time.

 

Thank you for reading.

 

David