Why don’t we show up in the WORLD?

During lockdown I have done some soul searching, I guess the time away from the busyness, hustle and chaos of a modern, self created life has gave me much needed space for reflection.

I say soul searching because I felt I needed to reconnect with my WHY.

I don’t mean a superficial ‘why’ that gets branded around by some marketers, I mean my REAL purpose and philosophy behind why I do what I do, why I live the way I live, what defines me as a Man, my beliefs and values.

Have you ever experienced any of the following:

  • You’re struggling to clearly define your purpose or have a deeper connection to what you want to do with your life, business or future?

 

  • Maybe know your purpose but get easily lost and distracted by others and what other people of influence say. You find yourself chasing other leaders but you never catch up, continually feeling unfulfilled or feeling not enough. Eventually you look back and feel like you’ve lost a sense of you and your direction?

 

  • Maybe you’re struggling to get to your goals because you’re dealing with so much stress, mental chaos, challenges at home and you spend most days firefighting.

 

  • Or maybe you just can’t make traction with what you’re doing, everything feels like a hard slog and you’re getting burned out on your current path.

 

I have lived all of those at various times.

If you do struggle or feel challenged around the above, I’m going to show you how to move from this!

The reason I wanted to connect more deeply into my philosophy now was I felt I was continuing to look outside of myself, look at what everyone else was doing and I had started to copy, follow and become distracted by them (not their intention) but I was lacking my own intention.

So my Marketing Message didn’t feel congruent, my programs/services weren’t fully complete and other things felt a little disjointed.

So I went back to the basics, WHY I wanted to become a coach in the first place.

I reconnected with this message:

“I want to coach Men to show up in the world as the very best version of themselves”

What does this even mean?

I spent years of my childhood and youth hiding, been quiet and shy, feeling like I couldn’t stand up and be who I was. This seeped into my early business years and I felt like I had to wear a mask (a metaphorical one) this was so I could play a role that made me look more confidence, strong, in control…In reality I had no idea who I was.

For many years I wasn’t able to connect with my authentic self, to be able to accept myself for who I am, and then in return show up as myself. This often resulted in me feeling lost, unsure and unfulfilled with most of the choices I made in business and life.

I find so many Men struggle with self acceptance and self worth.

Worrying about what other people think of them, worrying about judgement, fear, failure, criticism and worst of all, they never feel enough.

So often these Men actually pull themselves down with negative self talk and the continuous cycle of self defeating thoughts.

One of the most powerful things I personally worked on was increasing my Self Worth. This is something that is vastly underrated in my opinion.

Now I coach Men to lean into who they are and this enables them to show up in the world as the most impactful and influential selves.

They start showing up in the Core 4 areas of life (Body, Mind, Home and Business) and this results in them creating MORE Fulfilment, Fun, Freedom and Financial Success.

This differs from client to client, but ultimately they desire a certain amount of Fulfillment, Fun, Freedom and Financial success and this aligns with their biggest over arching goal, So I work with them to achieve what thye desire most.

BUT, for this to EVEN happen they have to start ‘Showing Up’

I connect with this because that’s the transformation I went through and that’s why I share and aim to inspire other men through coaching conversations to do similar on their journey.

 

The second part of my philosophy is:

“As the very best version of themselves”

To achieve or create more in life we don’t have to be more than we are, but we do have to show up as all that we are.

So coaching Men to step into being all they are capable of is the intention because in that space there is very little they can’t do.

Take a moment and recall a time when you were on fire, when you were in that state of “flow”, How did you feel? What were you doing? What did you accomplish, create?

That state is self created and in that state you are in your potential and able to create magic!

So my coaching helps Men get into that place DAILY.

Most of the time we are fire fighting, dealing with mental chaos, dealing with high stress, anxiety, we are feeling overwhelmed and then on top of that we can struggle with fatigue, burn out, arguments and challenges at home and this just loads on top of us.

How the hell does someone in that place create a life they love to live on purpose?

They don’t!

But they can when they show up as all that they are,

They better manage or remove stress, remove anxiety, increase mental clarity, focus, increase energy, productivity and they re-gain control.

When you are HERE in that space, that’s when dreams are created, purpose is discovered and lives are transformed.

So for you,

What parts of your life are you NOT showing up in?

What results are you experiencing right now because you aren’t showing up?

What would change if you started showing up as the best version of you?

Sharing this message is what lights me up,

So thank you for reading it

David

PS:

If what I’m saying is resonating with you, then I’m personally inviting you to have a conversation with me, around your goals and what you want to create or what challenge you want to move past in your world, click the link to find out how – https://davidwilkinsonperformance.com/work-with-me/

Overcoming ANY Self Doubts, Fears and Judgements

Self doubt, fear of failure and worrying about judgement from others is the real bermuda triangle that once most people enter too deeply, they rarely come out the other side!

Any of those has the ability to cripple our dreams, ambitions or inspiration in a heartbeat.

The amount of conversations I have with Men about why they are struggling to reach their goals or what’s potentially stopping them even starting, is often because they feel challenged by one of more of the below:

1) Self doubt and feeling they lack confidence in themselves, lacking in their self worth and question whether they are enough or good enough.

2) Fear of failure and looking like a failure to others, what will people think or say?

3) And lastly they worry about judgement or criticism from others such as; Partners, family, friends, peers, social media followers etc, What will people think or say if I do this?

 

Have you ever said or felt anything similar to the above?

 

If you have, here’s the big dilemma…

 

You’re probably in a conflict with yourself.

 

Conflict between showing up in the world more impactfully to follow and create your life’s dreams…

And struggling with one or more of the limiting beliefs you have created around why you CAN’T do that.

So you end up feeling STUCK between these two places and unable to move!

 

I know this feeling all to well.

In 2018 after I qualified as a professional coach, I had the ambition, I had the qualifications and I had a powerful message I wanted to share with the world, But I was in conflict with my own self doubt and fear.

 

I would repeatedly say to myself;

“Who the hell am I to coach other people on areas such as life and business, what do I know?”

“Who will listen to me anyway, I’m too young”.

“What will people think about me doing this, they’re probably going to laugh about me behind my back?”

These words going over and over in my head constantly causing me to procrastinate, feel stuck and then become increasing frustrated because I wasn’t moving forward.

 

So what’s the solution?

 

Well in all honesty there isn’t a short cut. There’s no, do X,Y and Z and heypresto you’re fixed,

But…

YOU can start creating awareness around your OWN thoughts and limiting beliefs.

 

When I’m coaching my clients they are able to breakthrough their mental barriers because of impactful and powerful coaching conversations.

The reason this works is because I listen to them, listen to what they’re really saying and I help them gain perspective on the situation via powerful questioning.

If you scroll back up slightly and re-read the thoughts I had in my head as to “why” I couldn’t build a coaching business, you’ll notice that I am asking myself questions.

The problem is the type of questions I’m asking myself are poor quality and because I keep asking these same “types” of questions I continue to get the same self defeating answers,

And this is what happens to all of us.

 

We continue to ask ourselves poor quality, self defeating questions and we get the same response, resulting in us staying STUCK.

 

If you struggle with self defeating thoughts, self doubt, limiting beliefs or fears then one way to get beyond this is to create the space to listen to what you are saying and asking yourself.

Writing it down is very important.

Then gain some perspective on WHY you think this way, is there any truth to what you are saying?

The minute we get the thoughts out of our head is when we can actually gain perspective on them and in many ways, challenge them.

 

THEN…You can ask yourself world class questions such as:

  • Who am I if I’m being everything I am fully capable of being?
  • Why did I start this, what is my true intention?
  • Given the situation (fear, doubt) what am I going to create?

 

These are just a starting point to start you on a path of reframing the questions you ask yourself.

 

My bigger purpose is to help men show up in the world as the very best version of themselves…

 

And for me to live out that, I had to start showing up for myself. This started by challenging my self defeating thoughts and ideas I had about myself and got factual perspective on everything with the help of a coach.

 

If you are stuck right now or disheartened in your pursuit of success and it’s down to the thoughts and ideas you tell yourself, Then start with the above questions or message me direct for deeper support.

Thank you for reading

David

 

PS:

If you have a go at asking yourself those questions, let me know how you get on with them, I’d love to know.