Are You Being Your BEST, TRUE Self?

In life can you honestly say you are being your best, true self? By this I mean are you being honest with who you are, confident to live as you, And always be yourself no matter the situation?

Do you have the confidence to be yourself and present that to the outside world?

At school and college I was always shy and really lacked the confidence to be myself, share my truth or put myself out there. Looking back I feared rejection so I kept myself down, hid away and didn’t share my real self unless it was with people I trusted.

This got me thinking, How many people other people are hiding themselves away or diming their light because they lack the confidence to ‘just’ be themselves at work, in business, socially, or even at home?

Or they adjust their personality to suit various situations or people? I’ve done this as well. Shown different sides of myself to certain people so they might accept me.

The reality is you can and should always be your True, Real and Authentic self and by doing so you’ll always bring the BEST version of yourself to each part of your life.

If people are unable or unwilling to accept the true you, well then I’d say **** them. Be YOU and find those people who accept you for who you are.

However the POWER in my opinion is you have to accept YOURSELF first. Hiding your true self away will only cause you pain and keep your light dim.

So how do you gain the confidence to be yourself, put yourself out there and be the best version of yourself? 

1) Accept who you currently are.

Learn who you are, what you are about and your values as a person. Discover yourself both your good and bad sides (we all have them).

Then accept yourself. Self acceptance goes a hell of a long way in boosting self belief and understanding your true value. Sure you’ll have to accept the ‘not so good’ parts of you, but if those parts hinder you…Then look at No.2.

2) Change, Adapt or Advance what doesn’t fit for you. 

If there’s a part of your personality that doesn’t fit your life and causes you pain…Work on changing it. Don’t be a arse **** and just accept it.

Adjusting our behaviour/s is essentially what we must do to develop as people. So it’s just a case of changing negative, damaging, disempowering behaviours with more positives ones. I won’t BS, this is tough, however over time with the right support, you can do this.

3) Know your worth

Know your true worth and value in all parts of life. Know what you bring to the world and honor that. Honor your gifts, personality, value and shine your light on the world around you.

4) Practise.

It sounds simple but just practise being you. Go to places and groups where you don’t know anyone and be you. Put yourself out there without fear of judgement or the need to be accepted. Then once you have confidence here, be you with those closest to you, those people can often be the toughest for us to be ourselves around.

5) Focus on something else. 

When you feel the fear of being your true self, or putting yourself out there, focus on something else. Be interested in other people, ask them questions and focus on getting to know them.

Direct your attention somewhere else and be curious of others and that will help you relax.

6) Repeat all the above and keep pushing to be you.

It’s not easy and it may take you a long time, but it’s worth it because the alternative is always you keeping you down, hiden, trapped and not valuing yourself…

Probably the worst thing you can do to yourself mentally is not valuing who you REALLY are.

 

David

PS: I’ll be launching a series of MasterMind coaching events soon just for guys. 

Focusing on helping men to level up their mind and body to reach their truest potential.

The best way to think of your potential in my opinion is;

“You know that you are capable of doing and being much more in this world…But right now you feel like you’re being held back or not confident to go ahead and become that person. Your potential and all you are capable of is being subdued”. 

My one day events will help you lay the foundations to overcome your adversities, overcome challenges you face and step up to being all you can be.

PPS: If you’re a guy, head to the link below and get notified first about the event. PLUS get my Man-Unleashed Daily Guide to super charge your Fitness, Focus, Finance and Fulfilment. 

https://mailchi.mp/49b84add0c9a/man-unleashed

We Learn From Our Mistakes Not Our Wins.

There are some very powerful lessons that we CAN learn as a result of mistakes, setbacks, mishaps or even our failures. These lessons, if learned have the capacity to transform our future success.

Now I don’t really like using that word…Failure because we never truly fail. However I know that that particular word is used to describe a particular event that we have had a lack of success in.

What I learned…

On Saturday I took part in another Crossfit finals competition, This one was called ‘Battle For Middle Ground’. I was entered into the middle ground category which was an intermediate comp.

During this competition us athletes had 4 events to complete and one event to complete 2 weeks prior to the competition starting, so 5 events in total.

The Events: 

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This is how my competition stacked up.

  • Event 0 (the one we did 2 weeks before the event). This was a 10 rep max push press, back squat and deadlift all set in 12min total = 16th.
  • Event 1 = 2nd
  • Event 2 part A = 26th
  • Event 2 part B = 1st
  • Event 3 = 12th
  • Event 4 = 3rd.

Overall my finish was 4th and I narrowly missed the podium by 3 points.

As you can see I had some very good finishes throughout the day however a 16th and a 26th place finish in 2 events stopped me reaching that podium. And this is what myself and you can learn from our mistakes.

See a win doesn’t really tell you that much, ok it tells you what you’re doing is probably working, or maybe you were a little lucky, but a loss can give us so much more information.

For me when it comes to Crossfit I know where my weaknesses lie, I have tangible results and data that conform this its not just based on theory or feelings. To win a Crossfit competition of this standard I would need to finish all my events at a minimum inside the top 10 on everything, maybe even top 5.

I had 3 event finishes outside the top 10 and then 3 top 3 placings. This shows my inconsistency as an athlete and what my strengths and weaknesses are.

I believe that for any of us it’s our loses that can show us what we need to fix.

Take any area of life you may have come up short in, work, career, business, sport, hobbies, financial. You’ll have come up short and missed your mark and this is where we LEARN. Our mistakes highlight the part/s of us we need to improve upon, or the extra knowledge, skills, abilities we need to get or improve upon so we have better success next time.

A setback gives us data, an actual tangible result that when analysed tells us what we need to do next time so we don’t get the SAME result. 

I challenge you to look at where your coming up short, what might be holding you back, what areas could you be making mistakes in that are affecting your bigger picture and correct these. Look at the information that’s been given to you, be honest with yourself and then ‘Do The Work’ to correct them.

I could easily look at my high place finishes and think to myself ‘I’m doing ok, I’m winning events and coming top 3’. And YES that is nice to see but in all honesty it means nothing to me if I’m not winning the competition overall.

I’d rather come top 5 in all the events and WIN the competition overall, than win a few workouts and miss the podium.

For me that’s the fuel to my fire, my motivation, my drive. Knowing I can get better and doing what it takes. I’m not the complete athlete yet, Im not the complete performance coach or motivational speaker I know I can be. That’s why everyday I try and improve one part of each of these.

I look at what I suck at, what I’m weak at, I’m honest with myself, self critical and I look to putting it right.

In Crossfit it can be difficult for some athletes to admit they are weak at something, they don’t like to be in the gym surrounded by their friends, fellow athletes, competitors and look foolish as they try and master a skill, lift or improve strength in things they are weak at. Ego can very easily get in the way here, and I’ll admit I do feel this way from time time to time.

But it’s only when we embrace these moments, these workouts, these opportunities to get better that we WILL actually improve.

I won’t be competing in individual competitions for about 6-8months now. I’ll only be doing team comps or maybe something individual for fun, but for major individual comps i’ll be taking a back seat so I can work on my weaknesses and come back a stronger athlete. I’ll be putting the work in so I correct the mistakes as I work towards my long term goal.

So my challenge to you is be prepared to screw up, miss your mark and have setbacks. You’ll discover these when you step out your comfort zone and when you start pushing to your goals. In these moments I challenge you to look at your weaknesses, be self critical, be honest with yourself and then do the work to put it right for next time.

Why?

Because when you do then you grow, evolve, level up and get closer to your goal. You have to be aware of your weaknesses as much as your strengths because this is also where you need your attention. Then you can correct them and move further forward.

I challenge you to do what it takes in training, in self development, in self mastery and be prepared to fail. I challenge you to get out your comfort zone and maybe even feel like you look foolish from time to time because when you embrace your ability to learn from mistakes then there isn’t ANYTHING that can stop your progress apart from your own ego. 

Alpha Dave.

 

Mistake + Correction = Learning.