Stressed and Burned Out, Here’s WHY I Work With Men.

Have you ever been in that place, mentally, physically or emotionally?

That Stressed out or mentally and physically burned out place?

Maybe you’re in a struggle right now with both of these.

I speak to so many guys at business events or online who tell me they’re struggling right now and don’t know what to do, so they just keep trying to plow on, head down and ‘Get On With It’.

Or they have been broken and have started to put themselves back together again.

To be fair you could also be in a place of feeling stressed out, lost and overwhelmed but you’re not on your knees…But perhaps you’re just struggling with clarity, direction, energy or confidence because of it.

The issue I’m bringing up here is that at some point in time we are all going through, will go through it it or have gone through stressed, burn out, anxiety and maybe even depression.

I’ve been there myself.

I’ve been so stressed out I was lashing out. Taking my anger and frustration out on my fiancee.

I was in that place where all I wanted to do was discover what the hell I was doing and where I was going with my life…Sounds so simple right?

Probably one of the hardest things I ever had to do because I was looking in all the wrong places. It’s almost like you can see the signs, the lack of sleep, the anxiety, the stress, the anger, the frustration, the delusion…BUT it’s hard to pull yourself out of it.

I was always thinking that “When I get this, or make this much money, or get here in business…Everything else will take care of it’s self”

How WRONG I WAS.

It just didn’t matter what I did, I couldn’t figure it out.

And because of this, everything else I looked at in my life wasn’t up to standard…My own perspective on the situation.

I would look at other parts of my life and recent them. I even resented the success of my fiance whose career was taking off whilst I was stuck.

I was becoming bitter under the surface whilst smiling on the outside.

And you know what?

I look back now and I’m like, who the hell was that guy?

I can say I have come out the other side of this, but it was no miracle cure. It wasn’t like I read one book or took one course and BOOM my life transformed.

I did 2 years of solid soul searching and self-discovery.

I did 2 years of serious self-development.

I did 2 years of getting to know me, all my insecurities, self doubts, fears, judgements, emotions, self awareness…As well as all the things in my life that are great, my success, my achievements, what makes me happy.

I just worked on me.

Now I don’t think it takes that for everyone, some people it can take a few months, some people a life time and I guess everyone else in the middle.

This is why YOUR Journey is your journey and no one else can say…

HERE, I can fix you in 5 steps.

I always smell BS, and I bet you do too!

What it does take to start is awareness of the problem, or awareness that you even have a challenge.

Being aware that you are stressed, struggling and maybe even burned out.

After awareness, it’s clarity.

This is why I put my Man-Unleashed together in the first place.

I wanted to create a place, a program and a coaching environment where men could go and develop who we are, in a non judgemental space.

I know what it’s like, I struggled to be open and honest round others. We see it as a sign of weakness, right?

However, it’s actually a sign of strength. To say you are struggling, to be honest and open and ask for a little help…IS STRONG.

To be your true and authentic self and put that person in life…IS STRENGTH.

So I’ve created a program that can enable men to be open about their struggles, get clear on who they want to become and then map out a way of getting there…

WHILST being their true selves.

I work with men because I have been ‘that’ guy, the guy who on the outside looks like he had it together but on the inside was crumbling.

I got myself together, and I’m still working on who I am…I eventually found my voice and the self confidence to put it out there, so helping other guys to do the same.

WHY?

So these men can show up to each part of their life and live life as the very best version of themselves. Be the best farther, husband, friend, manager, boss, colleague, leader they can be.

David

PS: If you are a man who has read this and it resonates with you and you yourself are feeling challenged in life and not where you want to be, Message me at wilkinsondj@hotmail.co.uk . 

How to Become MORE Confident in Yourself…

What comes to mind when you think of confidence? 

What’s that ‘thing’ you keep putting off doing or starting because you believe you lack confidence to do it? 

Do you just wish you had more self belief in yourself? 

When I think of confidence I’m always reminded of my lack of it during my teenage years. At school, college and my early working career I can honestly say I was shy. Sure I had friends, But I lacked serious confidence in myself when it came to meeting people, putting myself out there, meeting girls and pushing myself for jobs.

A massive turning point came when I was 20 and I was going on a lads holiday, I was working full time in a leisure club but the wages were poor. So I needed an extra income.

So I went down the job centre…Yeah that’s how we use to find jobs back in the day lol.

And I found a job as an assistant instructor helping teaching boxing circuit training but it was in South Shields, I lived in Durham about 45minute away drive. But the pay was ok so I though ‘what the hell’ give it a go.

I called the guy up (Harry) and he said; “Come through, take a look and see what you think of the sessions and we’ll take it from there”.

I turned up first night to take a look and there we’re over 100 people in the session…No joke. I was crapping myself. Harry told me he wanted someone to help him coach and was I interested?

All honestly I was bricking it and almost pulled out, but I needed the money and I needed to get my confidence up as a coach.

So I took that leap and did it. Within 6 weeks I was coaching the sessions, standing in front of 100 people teaching boxing and circuits.

Within 6 months I had taken over from Harry and topped out with a class of 130 people in it.

So how did I go from being a shy guy lacking self confidence…To instructing 130 people?

PRACTISE. Read that again! 

The truth is we lack confidence in the things we aren’t practised in, what we lack experience and preparation in.

Take for example; Many people are unconfident in public speaking…Why?

Because they haven’t practised it, they haven’t done enough of it.

Come back and tell me you aren’t confident at something that you’ve done for 50,100, 1000 hours.

You won’t.

The MORE you do something the more confident you become at it.

Repetition breeds confidence. 

So here’s my 3 step advice to building self confidence, and building it is the key. You start off small and keep growing it by doing the ‘right’ things that protect yourself self confidence…Then increase it.

1) Take action.

We only feel anxious about something we are thinking about, something that’s just sat on our minds. However if we move, take action, just do something we can no longer feel anxious…THIS IS TRUTH.

Anxiety will leave you as soon as you do something on that ‘thing’…However small your action is.

I called Harry up, I travelled through to South Shields, I helped clients in the session on an individual level. I built up small, I then took small parts of the session until I could take a full session.

These we’re all built up action steps from the first step which was as small as…Going to the job centre. I took action.

Take action and do it small. The smaller the better at the start (only in this case 🙂 )

Just look at the smallest step you can take TODAY that gets you moving forward. You don’t need to move mountains at the start, but you do need to start.

2) Practise, Repeat and Practise some more.

‘Practise doesn’t make perfect but practise DOES make permanent’ and that’s the habit you need. By doing something again and again you’ll remove that fear. In fact you’ll get so good at something that yo\’ll probably end up loving it.

Trust me you can not fear something you have done 100, 1000, 10,000 hours worth of. And even if you do, it’ll be so habitual to you that you’ll just soldier through regardless.

The more you practise something the more natural it will feel.

 
3) Still struggling with confidence?

Hire a Performance Coach like myself to help you overcome this.

Working with a coach to support you in moving forward towards the goals you desire.

Building the business, body, lifestyle, relationships and happiness you want can be 100% achieved by you, however the process can be simpler, less stressful and more clear with the support of a coach.

A coach can help you work through you’re barriers and limiting beliefs. If you want to move ahead in your life you WILL need to acquire more self belief in YOU. This can be done by working on it.

Affirmations and telling yourself to ‘Be more confident’ or ‘I am a confident person’ work work because theirs NO action to back them up. Habits, routines and a change in your a state of mind is what’s needed.

 

Trust me, I’m no more special that you are, and if I can do it then so can you.

That one small step I took now allows me to do the same in every other area of life.

Do I still lack confidence?

Of cause I do from time to time. I can still lack self belief in myself.

However I know that if I follow the above 3 steps I’ll get past it. These habits last a lifetime and once YOU have them then they’ll continue to serve you.

 

Alpha Dave.