Are You Being Your BEST, TRUE Self?

In life can you honestly say you are being your best, true self? By this I mean are you being honest with who you are, confident to live as you, And always be yourself no matter the situation?

Do you have the confidence to be yourself and present that to the outside world?

At school and college I was always shy and really lacked the confidence to be myself, share my truth or put myself out there. Looking back I feared rejection so I kept myself down, hid away and didn’t share my real self unless it was with people I trusted.

This got me thinking, How many people other people are hiding themselves away or diming their light because they lack the confidence to ‘just’ be themselves at work, in business, socially, or even at home?

Or they adjust their personality to suit various situations or people? I’ve done this as well. Shown different sides of myself to certain people so they might accept me.

The reality is you can and should always be your True, Real and Authentic self and by doing so you’ll always bring the BEST version of yourself to each part of your life.

If people are unable or unwilling to accept the true you, well then I’d say **** them. Be YOU and find those people who accept you for who you are.

However the POWER in my opinion is you have to accept YOURSELF first. Hiding your true self away will only cause you pain and keep your light dim.

So how do you gain the confidence to be yourself, put yourself out there and be the best version of yourself? 

1) Accept who you currently are.

Learn who you are, what you are about and your values as a person. Discover yourself both your good and bad sides (we all have them).

Then accept yourself. Self acceptance goes a hell of a long way in boosting self belief and understanding your true value. Sure you’ll have to accept the ‘not so good’ parts of you, but if those parts hinder you…Then look at No.2.

2) Change, Adapt or Advance what doesn’t fit for you. 

If there’s a part of your personality that doesn’t fit your life and causes you pain…Work on changing it. Don’t be a arse **** and just accept it.

Adjusting our behaviour/s is essentially what we must do to develop as people. So it’s just a case of changing negative, damaging, disempowering behaviours with more positives ones. I won’t BS, this is tough, however over time with the right support, you can do this.

3) Know your worth

Know your true worth and value in all parts of life. Know what you bring to the world and honor that. Honor your gifts, personality, value and shine your light on the world around you.

4) Practise.

It sounds simple but just practise being you. Go to places and groups where you don’t know anyone and be you. Put yourself out there without fear of judgement or the need to be accepted. Then once you have confidence here, be you with those closest to you, those people can often be the toughest for us to be ourselves around.

5) Focus on something else. 

When you feel the fear of being your true self, or putting yourself out there, focus on something else. Be interested in other people, ask them questions and focus on getting to know them.

Direct your attention somewhere else and be curious of others and that will help you relax.

6) Repeat all the above and keep pushing to be you.

It’s not easy and it may take you a long time, but it’s worth it because the alternative is always you keeping you down, hiden, trapped and not valuing yourself…

Probably the worst thing you can do to yourself mentally is not valuing who you REALLY are.

 

David

PS: I’ll be launching a series of MasterMind coaching events soon just for guys. 

Focusing on helping men to level up their mind and body to reach their truest potential.

The best way to think of your potential in my opinion is;

“You know that you are capable of doing and being much more in this world…But right now you feel like you’re being held back or not confident to go ahead and become that person. Your potential and all you are capable of is being subdued”. 

My one day events will help you lay the foundations to overcome your adversities, overcome challenges you face and step up to being all you can be.

PPS: If you’re a guy, head to the link below and get notified first about the event. PLUS get my Man-Unleashed Daily Guide to super charge your Fitness, Focus, Finance and Fulfilment. 

https://mailchi.mp/49b84add0c9a/man-unleashed

It’s Not What You Do…It’s How You Do It.

It’s not what you do…It’s how you do it that counts.

Have you ever heard this saying before…

“How you do something is how you do everything”. 

For any entrepreneur, athlete or professional how you do ANYTHING is how you do EVERYTHING, It’s the STANDARDS you hold yourself to.

This relates to everything from your:

  • Character.
  • Attitude.
  • Professionalism.
  • Commitment.
  • Mindset.
  • Positivity.
  • How you deal with adversity.
  • Work ethic.
  • Determination.
  • Organisation.
  • Communication skills…The list goes on.

 

Let’s take attitude for a moment and use it in a context of a persons outlook and approach in life, And lets take it on something very simple like ‘time management’.

If you’re in business and you are always LATE. Late for meetings, late for clients, always have people waiting for you because you have poor time management this becomes a reflection of your attitude.

When it comes to those people who are doing business with you then your poor time management reflects on their opinion of you, how might conduct business and your standards. So they COULD get the opinion that you don’t value their time. That your product and service may also be late in delivery or service. That you can’t stick to time frames and schedules. That you may promise things and not deliver on your word.

All of these have consequences on whether people will continue to do business with you now and in the future.

All because you we were late for meeting/s.

How you do anything is how you do everything. 

So flip this on it’s head and let’s say your early for your meeting.

You’re punctual, You’re well prepared. They’re business matters to you. Your smart, your attitude is one that cares.

This then reflects on how they perceive you are in day to day business and it all comes down to something as simple your time management, because it’s the standards you hold yourself to.

How you do something is how you do everything. 

And this goes for athletes, business owners, people you are in a relationship with and anyone you come into contact with.

Your attitude, mindset, positivity, outlook, professionalism, work ethic etc will reflect in everything you do good or bad.

This is why your character is probably more important than your skill and ability level. You could be the most gifted athlete on the planet but if your work ethic sucks then it’s very unlikely you’re going to reach the peak in your sport.

However let’s say you at a good athlete, not the most naturally gifted BUT you work your ass off in training, in recovery, with your diet and never give less than 100% in everything you do…The likely hood of this person succeeding is dramatically increased over the more gifted athlete who has a weaker character.

Working on your character and attitude is just as important as brushing up on your skills and knowledge. And YES character is learned.

Sure we get a lot of it when we grow up and these are instilled in us during our upbringing…Both our good and not so good traits. But we can always work to be an improved human being…

It’s a state of mind.

Aiming to become a better, more rounded person and becoming a master of yourself and your mind is the ultimate personal journey.

Working on your mindset, outlook, positivity, dedication, self control, confidence, humility and commitment will make you a better person, strengthen your character and better in whatever you do in life.

These things just like any skills have to be worked on and improved. And by doing so you’ll grow to that next level in life.

The truth is you can’t have more in life if you can’t become MORE.

What I mean by this is, you can’t have more happiness, success, freedom, love, money, fun, humility, confidence to name a few if you can’t become MORE of a person yourself.

Just by being the same you as you are right now won’t take you to that next level in your life because you won’t grow. And without growth there is no progress.

You must grow as person in all areas and this starts with a desire to be and become more than you already are.

Develop your character and your level of success with dramatically increase.

Dare to be Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Focus on THE PROCESS And You’ll Reach Your Goal.

‘Focus on THE PROCESS and you’ll maximise the outcome you want’.

The process is something many coaches, athletes and consultants focus more on rather than getting fixated on JUST the goal.

Before we jump in let me be clear, Goals are VERY important. Having an outcome you are aiming for gives you direction. However if all we focus on is THE OUTCOME, It can sometimes seem like we’re chasing something that is way way off in the distance.

Our attention could be to far ahead and screwing up us ‘maximising’ what really counts when it comes to us getting the results we want…The here and now.

What’s key is that we focus on the present and what we can control in the NEXT STEP we’re going to take. And this can be anything like;

Your next workout. Your next work presentation. The next meal your going to eat. These are the things you can focus on and CONTROL.

The issue for many people is that they ONLY focus on the outcome they want and miss everything else.

When we set ourselves an outcome that’s only 10% of the picture, it gives us an end point.

What we need next is a plan. A day by day to-do list or better put…A PROCESS.

The process is what we need to do every hour of every day for us to reach the goal/outcome we have set ourselves…The things we CAN control.

The process is what we follow. And if done correctly with the right attention to detail, focus, ability, consistency, grit, positivity and patience then we can have what it takes to reach our goals.

There’s a lot more that goes into this mix than just the goal and its process…However get these right and you’re well on your way.

So lets say you have a clearly defined goal in mind…

NEXT, Start to think about what you need to do to reach your goal.

+ What do you need to learn, what new skills do you need, what new abilities, what technical elements do you need to do, have, know. What knowledge do you need?

+ What coaching or outside support, influence do you need? 

+ What’s the time frame for the goal? 

+ What bench marks will you put along the way to track progress so you know you’re on track? 

+ What contiguity’s will you put in place for when things don’t go to plan or for future challenges you KNOW will come up? 

+ And MOST importantly are you passionate about the process? 

All of the above need to be serious food for thought when it comes to planning ‘how you’ll reach your goal’. And there’s ONE additional part that slots in here…

Your PASSION.

Being passionate about what your doing everyday will make your journey sooooo much easier. And this is the key. You being passionate about the process.

ONLY being passionate about the possibilities of you achieving your goal is going to cause you a lot of problems. As people we tend to quickly avoid things we dislike or that make us feel uncomfortable, This is human nature.

So it’s very unlikely that you’re going to follow a plan every day for the foreseeable future if you DON’T enjoy it or aren’t passionate about it.

Take for example something like, losing weight and getting fit. This is something many people struggle with. They love the idea of being in shape…But hate the application of it. They dislike exercise and dieting. They start off well due to motivation or being inspired. But once this wears off and all that’s left are early morning/late night gym sessions, going out running in the rain and eating clean foods whilst you pass on your nightly beer or glass of wine…It’s easy to see why people quit.

Those who see LONG TERM success with their fitness and bodies are those that love the process. They love exercise or at the very least enjoy it. Eating healthy is enjoyable and makes them feel good. Over time they stay consistent with their process and they end up reaching their goals.

And this is true for ANY goal in life.

The idea of the outcome (GOAL) is what motivated and inspires us to START. This surge of motivation pushes us over the hump and gets us going. However as this fades off we need to be left with passion for the daily process…The daily work. If we are then we are much more likely to succeed.

If we aren’t…Then for 99% of us, we’ll probably quit.

The process is king and where we need to find fulfilment, success and happiness. The goal is the cherry on the top.

When you can EVERY day fully submerse yourself into the task at hand with your only aim to maximise the outcome of this ONE task, and do this day after day consistently…

Mixed with your ability, dedication, commitment, hard work and focus with intense passion…

Then will you reach your full potential.

 

Dare to be Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

We Shouldn’t Go It Alone.

The road to your goals is one that is exciting, fulfilling, engaging and stimulating.

But it is also paved with up’s, downs, success, struggles and uncertainty.

For us motivated alpha’s it’s can be the thrill and the hunt that drives us and makes it MORE exciting.

It’s the; “Can I, will I” make it attitude that gets us up on a morning and has us chasing our dreams down, that to many people on the outside looking in who say it’s impossible.

But to us our dreams aren’t impossible because we believe them to be achievable, and that’s what drives us everyday. Our goals are why we sacrifice so much. What we think about 24/7 and why we believe that its ALL worth it.

However there is one fundamental truth that we have to understand if we wish to have ANY chance of success and that is…

We can’t make just on our own.

  • No top athlete made it to the pinnacle of their sport without coaching, advise and help. 
  • No business made there success and riches without help, guidance and support.
  • No man or no women makes it alone without support from others, family and friends.
  • No one made it without someone to inspire, motivate or mentor them along the way.
  • No one makes it without a strong team, network or social support around them.

 

Our dreams and ambitions are our own…

However we need others to come along on the journey for them to become a reality.

 

100% you must believe in you.

100% your dreams will NEVER happen without you being fully focused on them.

100% you must put the hard work, sacrifice and effort in to make your dreams a reality.

However we from time to time need someone else to help steer the ship, a coach, a mentor or an advisor.

We need people around us to help pick us up when we fall or a shoulder to cry on when it all gets a bit to much.

We need people around us to support and encourage us as we pursue our goals.

Trying to make it alone will be a  lonely, unhappy place.

 

Being Alpha is understanding that you can carve your own path out in life and that you can lead and live your own life in the direct YOU want.

Being alpha is also understanding that you don’t have all the answers or all the tools to make your dreams a reality and that seeking out others who do will transform your life.

Being alpha is also understanding that if you put the correct support network around yourself, with the right people who believe in you…

Mix that with your own drive, discipline and desries then you have a winning combination.

We can be strong on our own…

However we can achieve greatness with others.

Dare to be Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

Is The Social Media Syndrome Screwing us?

The social media syndrome is something that a friend of mine calls it, however I thought it was a great name to explain the social phenomenon that’s transforming how we look at our lives and how we compare it to others.

Now before you get the wrong end of the stick I’m by no means bashing social media, I think it’s an amazing tool. It’s great for interaction, reaching audiences of people we wouldn’t have had access too. It’s a great way of keeping in touch, building brands and your personal brand. And obviously a way for us to stick our noses into other peoples lives…I’m joking about that one by the way…Well not really :-).

However this is where social media gets a bit murky and can have a negative affect on our lives and our possible futures.

I’m personally a huge believer in that you can have almost ANYTHING you desire in life, your goals, aims, ambitions. I say ‘almost’ because I believe you still need to have skills and aptitude towards your chosen path,,,But by no means is it the most vital part of the mix but it goes a long way.

I also believe that if you discover, What you want, you work hard for it, surround yourself with the right people and you have patience then you have a recipe for success.

HOWEVER…

The biggest things you must FIRST discover before ANY of the above will work for you is:

  1. Who are YOU? 
  2. What do you want? 

I 100% believe that you must discover who you are as a person, what you believe, what your deepest darkest secrets are, what your BS is, what your excuses are, what your thoughts are, what your interests and passions are…And TRULY discover who you are as a person.

Once you’ve done this then and ONLY then can you understand what you want from life (your goals). Only then can you know what will make you happy and how it fits for you.

And that’s it right? Its about what makes us happy at the end of the day.

Soooo, here’s where the social media syndrome kicks in.

We scroll social media sites and look at OTHER people’s lives (nothing wrong with that, we all do it). We look at what they are doing, where they live. what car they drive, what holidays they go on, what physical shape they are in, how happy they are, how much money they look to have etc etc.

We scroll through and look at other peoples lives through a very small lense or screen.

Then what? And here’s where it can get off track for some people.

We compare. We compare and start to compete. 

  • Why don’t I have XYZ? 
  • They look happy in their lives and I don’t feel as happy in mine.  
  • Should I upgrade my house, car, holiday home, life, partner?  
  • Do I need to have a six pack or a booty to be attractive? 
  • My sport, competitive times and wins aren’t as good as theres so I mustn’t be as good as an athlete as them.
  • They have more followers or get more ‘likes’ than me so they must be more popular than I am.  
  • I need a new job that pays me more money because I NEED more money? 
  • I mustn’t be fulfilled or happy like this person because my relationship doesn’t look likes theirs.

 

This is just a very brief summary of things that can go through our heads when we get onto social media and compare.

Here’s the thing…

We then start getting trapped into other peoples lives and start building our LIVES around what we THINK we want or what we THINK will make us happy. We follow other peoples social media highlight reel (It’s called a highlight because many people only share the GOOD things on social media) that we forget about WHO WE truly are and WHAT WE truly want.

Our goals, dreams and ambitions get put to one side, or forgotten about as we chase an ‘ideal’.

A life that we probably never intended for ourselves buts it’s what we THINK we should do or have. Its what we assume will make us happy because it is what others on social media are doing. Its the life our friends, colleagues and those we follow have.

And we end up getting LOST.

 – We work jobs we hate just for money we don’t need and forget about our passions and purpose in life. 

 – We buy things we don’t want or need and get into debt over them. Having to work even harder and longer in our uninspiring jobs to pay for these things. 

 – We assume that unless we look like an Instragram model we are unattractive and this has a serious negative affect on our mental health, self esteem, self image and confidence. 

– We think that unless I’m making X amount per year then I’m NOT making it in life, business, career. 

We end up losing the sense of what makes us unique…Our individuality

This is what makes you and I unique. It’s the fact that we have our own mind, thoughts, beliefs, up-bring, dreams, goals and outlook on life.

And we miss this and get trapped into the social media bubble…The Social Media Syndrome.

Its time to lift your head up and start to decide what it is YOU want. What will make you truly happy, unfilled and content?

Ask yourself these questions and take time with the answers;

  1. Who am I?
  2. What do i truly want? 

Answer these questions and understand YOU more and you’re ahead of 95% of the population. More importantly when you know the answers you can work towards YOUR dreams.

This is your life and NOW is the time to pursue what will make you happy in life, purpose, body, relationships and mindset.

Discover your inner Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Confidence Comes From Doing The WORK.

 

I know I personally ‘lack’ confidence in something or an area of life, sport, business etc when I haven’t put the practise in.

So if you’re unconfident…How do you become MORE confident in yourself? 

Because the lack of THIS might ‘just’ be the difference between you opening your dream business, going for it in your sport or pursuing your life’s ambitions…

OR you continuing to put it off or you telling yourself reasons as to why you can’t.  

I remember back when I was in secondary school I was a shy unconfident person. To the people who didn’t know me they would probably say I was shy and quite. I was different with those around me, my close friends and family I was the normal outgoing Dave. This is because I was practised in their company. They took and new me for who I was.

But from the outside looking in I was shy and I was worried that people wouldn’t like or accept me. I just didn’t think there was anything special about me. This comes from a self worth issue.

HOWEVER…

This had to change because it affected me when it came to being outgoing. I struggled to get to know people beyond my close circle and struggled even more so with the opposite sex. This became more apparent the older I got and the more into my teens. I just lacked the self confidence to go up to a girl and talk to her.

As I went through School and then into Collage I also new I wanted to work in health and fitness, I wanted to coach people for a living. My dream of becoming personal trainer and a group instructor was in my opinion was going to be affected by my lack of self confidence.

So I did what I thought was best…I threw myself in at the deep end.

I pushed myself to do the work. I contacted a guy who was looking for Boxercise class instructors to assist him in coaching his sessions. I had the skills, I had the knowledge but around new people I was shy.

I remember turning up at this guys first class, I thought they’ll be 15-20 people there max and it won’t be so bad. How wrong I was.

I walked into a class of over 100 people. To say I was put onto the back foot is an understatement. At first it was all about assisting him, but he told me he wanted me to start coaching the classes…I was crapping myself.

But it was a case of teach the class, or quit. But for me quitting is not an option, especially when its just a self doubt issue.

Bit by bit i was introducing myself more to the clients. I practised the workouts and movements at home. I was pushing myself to get my personal skill and with it confidence levels up so I’d be ready to coach.

See I’m a HUGE believe that confidence comes from DOING…Not ‘just’ from listening to motivational tapes, videos or speaking to a therapist. Sure these ALL help…But for me, it comes through DOING. Getting in there and giving it a go. At some point the theory and talk has to stop and the DOING needs to start.

And when you do this you’ll either know its for you and you can continue to get better…or you’ll shy away from it and move onto something else.

F**k it…I jumped in.

My first class, there were almost 90 people in the room and I though…”Screw it, it’s sink or swim time”.

I got in there and gave it all i had.

Was it perfect? Hell No.

Was I crapping myself? Hell Yes.

Did I eventually go on and coach more sessions and deliver a class to over 130 people? Hell Yes I did.

And that was it for me.

LESSON LEARNED:- Anytime I lack confidence in myself, when I come up against something new, a challenge, a fear or self doubt I throw myself into it and practise it. I put the work in and then do it until it becomes comfortable. 

This mentality has seen me through: 

  • Taking over those Boxercise classes and running them myself. 
  • Trekking to Everest Base Camp for 3 weeks and then running the Mount Everest Marathon at 21 years old. 
  • Travelling the world for 8months at the age of 22. 
  • Starting my first training bootcamp and PT business in over 6 locations around the North East of England. 
  • Opening and co-owning my first gym at 25. 
  • Having the confidence to walk up, meet and talk to the love of my life Helenlee. 
  • Closing down my gym with Helenlee because it wasn’t going in the direction of life I wanted anymore. 
  • Starting a New business in consulting and motivational speaking (What I do now)  
  • Starting competitive Crossfit and training to be a full time Crossfit Athlete. 
  • Going to the European Team Crossfit Championships as part of a team in just over 1 year in the sport. 
  • And the journey continues…

 

Confidence comes from doing the work. We all lack confidence in certain areas of life, especially those that are unknown to us. The ONLY REAL way to overcome these and to get past the fear is through doing.

As humans we are built to be cautious, it’s in our make-up and we will shy away from things that makes us feel uncomfortable. This is OK unless the thing/s you are shying away from are what YOU NEED TO DO to make your dreams a reality.

If this is the case you have 2 choices:

  1. Continue to shy away and miss out on your dreams and ambitions in life.
  2. Face them head on, get stuck in and put the work in. 

The choice is yours.

Dare to be Alpha

Alpha Dave

 

 

You Are Whatever You Tell Yourself You Are.

Call them goals, visions, dreams or purpose…They are all created in your mind first.

You have to think and believe you ARE THAT someone or something before it ever becomes a reality.

No one got to the pinnacle of any sport, business or ambition by NOT believing they could do it in the beginning.

Your mindset is one of the most POWERFUL weapons you have in your possession and when you workout how to enhance it, then use it…Your entire world will transform.

Most of the times mindsets give them a negative life due to their negative beliefs and behaviours. These are instilled in us throughout our early life. And its these that if you ALLOW them, CAN and WILL keep you exactly where you are.

HOWEVER

If you get to work on your mindset, growing it, developing it, taking in positive information, being around positive people and looking at life with an abundance mentality then life will give you want you want.

Of cause you’ve got to work for it. All the hoping and wishing in the world isn’t going to bring you an Olympic gold medal if you don’t work hard for it.

But when you combine hard work ethic, dedication, playing it smart, surrounding yourself with the right people and developing your mindset as much as your body…

THEN YOU HAVE THE WINNING COMBINATION.

All successful people had to see it first and believe it in their own mind waaaaaayyyyy before it ever happened for real.

You are whatever you believe you are.

Dare to be Alpha.

Alpha Dave.