What The Hell is Personal Development

What the hell is Personal Development and why should you care?

Personal development for me is about growing and enhancing a person’s self awareness, capabilities, skills, behaviours and self confidence to uncover and unleash someone’s full potential.

It’s helping a person get past their limiting beliefs or self doubts and in truth it’s about getting MORE out of yourself so you can DO, BE and ACHIEVE all you are in any area of Life, Business, Career and Body.

In short personal development is about growing as a person in one area of life or all areas. However I believe for the BEST results its about levelling up in every area.

What I teach my clients is that their goal is off in the future, a bigger ‘thing’ they are trying to reach or accomplish. So compared to their goal they are smaller, further away and currently NOT ready to achieve it, Because if they could…They would have already.

It’s like taking on their own mountain but having to learn to climb first to reach the top.

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Knowing where you are right now is about establishing reality and current positioning, any coach that BS a client at this point isn’t helping them, they are hindering them. Knowing where you are, warts and all is essential.

So personal development is what bridges the gap between where you are right now and the goal you desire.

It’s centred around growing as a person in mind, body, skill, capabilities and confidence so you can conquer that goal. It’s you levelling up and becoming more as an individual…So now you are capable of attaining and owning your goal.

 

Without self development we wouldn’t have laid the foundations to reach our goal or hold on to it.

Any worthwhile goal is achieved this way, hence why personal development is critical.

I base my coaching around developing people and helping them get more out of themselves…More than they ever thought possible so they can set goals, increase their capabilities and then own the sh*t out of their goals.


The Process

My approach is based on 3 critical steps to show a person how to develop towards their goal/s:

  1. Clarity

  2. Confidence

  3. Performance


Clarity

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This is about gaining clarity around who you are and what you want. This for me is essential and was one area of life I was really stuck in. I just couldn’t get clear on who I was or what I wanted.

Often this is the part people miss and they design their wants by what others around them have or do. They basis their requirements off what they ‘think’ they should do or have and worse still what society or social media dems to be right.

This is making people feel more lost, isolated and frustrated than ever before.

By doing some deep self discovery work you can understand YOU, who you are and what life you want to experience everyday. In all honesty your career, business, income, home, relationships and lifestyle are behind this in order of clarity.

This part is about you and knowing what turns you on, what makes you tick and what inspires you. Everything else is there to enable this to happen.

Clarity is very difficult to achieve on your own because it requires you being asked great questions by a coach that can help you think deeper and really question yourself.


Confidence

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Another essential piece to the puzzle because a lack of self belief is the number ONE reason most people don’t achieve their goals or start in the first place.

A limiting belief, fear, doubt or insecurity is holding more people back from going after what they truly want than any other barrier.

So building self confidence, awareness and emotional intelligence is huge. A big part of my coaching is build around becoming self assured in who you are and what you are capable of. This is much more than just reciting positive talk. It’s about practising self confidence and knowing you.

Yes confidence is practised. I will have you look at any area of your life right now you feel confident and comfortable in. May be its work, or a hobbie..

Now ask yourself how long have you been doing that for? What makes you confident at it? How many hours have you put into it?

Confidence is partly about discovering yourself. Partly about doing something over and over to get better at it, and…Well you’ll have to become a client to find out the rest 🙂

Once you build self esteem you’ll be unstoppable.


Performance

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The final piece to the personal development system is performance.

Increasing your performance is essential because you can not become all you can be with the same habits, mindset, behaviours and actions you use now, Think about that.

There will be certain behaviours and habits you have right now that help you and you’ll be able to move forward with. However some are hindering you and you’ll need to ditch them or maybe you can re-shape them into better habits.

Increasing performance is all about optimising how you Think, Act, Behave, Eat, Move, Sleep and Produce to enhance you as a person. Giving you greater energy, clarity, focus, production and awareness…And reducing stress, overwhelm, fatigue, burn out and procrastination.

Once you have the clarity and the confidence, NEXT you require the high performance habits that will get you doing what you want to do every day to get you to your objectives.

I coach my clients how to enhance what they do so they can set out each day fully equipped to take it on.


What Next?

So the goal or objective you have set for yourself will become achievable once you can do the above 3 steps, Add into the mix; Strategic planning, breaking down limiting beliefs, accountability and daily action steps and you have yourself one hell of a system.

Are you frustrated because you’re struggling to gain clarity around your next career or business move?

Do you struggle with self confidence when it comes to making certain decision or actions?

Are you an ambitious person but feel lost or like you’ve reached a ceiling and not sure what to do next?

Would you like to become a more effective business owner or leader to reach a higher level of income and success?

Do you want to reduce stress and self doubt WHILST gaining balance in your Life, Body and Business for more fulfilment, value and success?

If so, then I am here to help!

If you are a corporate professional or business owner I will take you through a personally tailored program that meets your needs.

No more living or playing the game of life at an average level…It’s time to become all you can be.

I will work with you 1-1 for 3-12 months to help you get more out of yourself personally and professionally than you ever thought possible.

If you are interested in what I offer and would like to speak further, then message  at wilkinsondj@hotmail.co.uk or contact me via LinkedIn HERE

 

How to Become MORE Confident in Yourself…

What comes to mind when you think of confidence? 

What’s that ‘thing’ you keep putting off doing or starting because you believe you lack confidence to do it? 

Do you just wish you had more self belief in yourself? 

When I think of confidence I’m always reminded of my lack of it during my teenage years. At school, college and my early working career I can honestly say I was shy. Sure I had friends, But I lacked serious confidence in myself when it came to meeting people, putting myself out there, meeting girls and pushing myself for jobs.

A massive turning point came when I was 20 and I was going on a lads holiday, I was working full time in a leisure club but the wages were poor. So I needed an extra income.

So I went down the job centre…Yeah that’s how we use to find jobs back in the day lol.

And I found a job as an assistant instructor helping teaching boxing circuit training but it was in South Shields, I lived in Durham about 45minute away drive. But the pay was ok so I though ‘what the hell’ give it a go.

I called the guy up (Harry) and he said; “Come through, take a look and see what you think of the sessions and we’ll take it from there”.

I turned up first night to take a look and there we’re over 100 people in the session…No joke. I was crapping myself. Harry told me he wanted someone to help him coach and was I interested?

All honestly I was bricking it and almost pulled out, but I needed the money and I needed to get my confidence up as a coach.

So I took that leap and did it. Within 6 weeks I was coaching the sessions, standing in front of 100 people teaching boxing and circuits.

Within 6 months I had taken over from Harry and topped out with a class of 130 people in it.

So how did I go from being a shy guy lacking self confidence…To instructing 130 people?

PRACTISE. Read that again! 

The truth is we lack confidence in the things we aren’t practised in, what we lack experience and preparation in.

Take for example; Many people are unconfident in public speaking…Why?

Because they haven’t practised it, they haven’t done enough of it.

Come back and tell me you aren’t confident at something that you’ve done for 50,100, 1000 hours.

You won’t.

The MORE you do something the more confident you become at it.

Repetition breeds confidence. 

So here’s my 3 step advice to building self confidence, and building it is the key. You start off small and keep growing it by doing the ‘right’ things that protect yourself self confidence…Then increase it.

1) Take action.

We only feel anxious about something we are thinking about, something that’s just sat on our minds. However if we move, take action, just do something we can no longer feel anxious…THIS IS TRUTH.

Anxiety will leave you as soon as you do something on that ‘thing’…However small your action is.

I called Harry up, I travelled through to South Shields, I helped clients in the session on an individual level. I built up small, I then took small parts of the session until I could take a full session.

These we’re all built up action steps from the first step which was as small as…Going to the job centre. I took action.

Take action and do it small. The smaller the better at the start (only in this case 🙂 )

Just look at the smallest step you can take TODAY that gets you moving forward. You don’t need to move mountains at the start, but you do need to start.

2) Practise, Repeat and Practise some more.

‘Practise doesn’t make perfect but practise DOES make permanent’ and that’s the habit you need. By doing something again and again you’ll remove that fear. In fact you’ll get so good at something that yo\’ll probably end up loving it.

Trust me you can not fear something you have done 100, 1000, 10,000 hours worth of. And even if you do, it’ll be so habitual to you that you’ll just soldier through regardless.

The more you practise something the more natural it will feel.

 
3) Still struggling with confidence?

Hire a Performance Coach like myself to help you overcome this.

Working with a coach to support you in moving forward towards the goals you desire.

Building the business, body, lifestyle, relationships and happiness you want can be 100% achieved by you, however the process can be simpler, less stressful and more clear with the support of a coach.

A coach can help you work through you’re barriers and limiting beliefs. If you want to move ahead in your life you WILL need to acquire more self belief in YOU. This can be done by working on it.

Affirmations and telling yourself to ‘Be more confident’ or ‘I am a confident person’ work work because theirs NO action to back them up. Habits, routines and a change in your a state of mind is what’s needed.

 

Trust me, I’m no more special that you are, and if I can do it then so can you.

That one small step I took now allows me to do the same in every other area of life.

Do I still lack confidence?

Of cause I do from time to time. I can still lack self belief in myself.

However I know that if I follow the above 3 steps I’ll get past it. These habits last a lifetime and once YOU have them then they’ll continue to serve you.

 

Alpha Dave.

We Learn From Our Mistakes Not Our Wins.

There are some very powerful lessons that we CAN learn as a result of mistakes, setbacks, mishaps or even our failures. These lessons, if learned have the capacity to transform our future success.

Now I don’t really like using that word…Failure because we never truly fail. However I know that that particular word is used to describe a particular event that we have had a lack of success in.

What I learned…

On Saturday I took part in another Crossfit finals competition, This one was called ‘Battle For Middle Ground’. I was entered into the middle ground category which was an intermediate comp.

During this competition us athletes had 4 events to complete and one event to complete 2 weeks prior to the competition starting, so 5 events in total.

The Events: 

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This is how my competition stacked up.

  • Event 0 (the one we did 2 weeks before the event). This was a 10 rep max push press, back squat and deadlift all set in 12min total = 16th.
  • Event 1 = 2nd
  • Event 2 part A = 26th
  • Event 2 part B = 1st
  • Event 3 = 12th
  • Event 4 = 3rd.

Overall my finish was 4th and I narrowly missed the podium by 3 points.

As you can see I had some very good finishes throughout the day however a 16th and a 26th place finish in 2 events stopped me reaching that podium. And this is what myself and you can learn from our mistakes.

See a win doesn’t really tell you that much, ok it tells you what you’re doing is probably working, or maybe you were a little lucky, but a loss can give us so much more information.

For me when it comes to Crossfit I know where my weaknesses lie, I have tangible results and data that conform this its not just based on theory or feelings. To win a Crossfit competition of this standard I would need to finish all my events at a minimum inside the top 10 on everything, maybe even top 5.

I had 3 event finishes outside the top 10 and then 3 top 3 placings. This shows my inconsistency as an athlete and what my strengths and weaknesses are.

I believe that for any of us it’s our loses that can show us what we need to fix.

Take any area of life you may have come up short in, work, career, business, sport, hobbies, financial. You’ll have come up short and missed your mark and this is where we LEARN. Our mistakes highlight the part/s of us we need to improve upon, or the extra knowledge, skills, abilities we need to get or improve upon so we have better success next time.

A setback gives us data, an actual tangible result that when analysed tells us what we need to do next time so we don’t get the SAME result. 

I challenge you to look at where your coming up short, what might be holding you back, what areas could you be making mistakes in that are affecting your bigger picture and correct these. Look at the information that’s been given to you, be honest with yourself and then ‘Do The Work’ to correct them.

I could easily look at my high place finishes and think to myself ‘I’m doing ok, I’m winning events and coming top 3’. And YES that is nice to see but in all honesty it means nothing to me if I’m not winning the competition overall.

I’d rather come top 5 in all the events and WIN the competition overall, than win a few workouts and miss the podium.

For me that’s the fuel to my fire, my motivation, my drive. Knowing I can get better and doing what it takes. I’m not the complete athlete yet, Im not the complete performance coach or motivational speaker I know I can be. That’s why everyday I try and improve one part of each of these.

I look at what I suck at, what I’m weak at, I’m honest with myself, self critical and I look to putting it right.

In Crossfit it can be difficult for some athletes to admit they are weak at something, they don’t like to be in the gym surrounded by their friends, fellow athletes, competitors and look foolish as they try and master a skill, lift or improve strength in things they are weak at. Ego can very easily get in the way here, and I’ll admit I do feel this way from time time to time.

But it’s only when we embrace these moments, these workouts, these opportunities to get better that we WILL actually improve.

I won’t be competing in individual competitions for about 6-8months now. I’ll only be doing team comps or maybe something individual for fun, but for major individual comps i’ll be taking a back seat so I can work on my weaknesses and come back a stronger athlete. I’ll be putting the work in so I correct the mistakes as I work towards my long term goal.

So my challenge to you is be prepared to screw up, miss your mark and have setbacks. You’ll discover these when you step out your comfort zone and when you start pushing to your goals. In these moments I challenge you to look at your weaknesses, be self critical, be honest with yourself and then do the work to put it right for next time.

Why?

Because when you do then you grow, evolve, level up and get closer to your goal. You have to be aware of your weaknesses as much as your strengths because this is also where you need your attention. Then you can correct them and move further forward.

I challenge you to do what it takes in training, in self development, in self mastery and be prepared to fail. I challenge you to get out your comfort zone and maybe even feel like you look foolish from time to time because when you embrace your ability to learn from mistakes then there isn’t ANYTHING that can stop your progress apart from your own ego. 

Alpha Dave.

 

Mistake + Correction = Learning. 

 

 

What Feeling Exhausted Taught Me.

I wrote the below blog in 2014 and it STILL rings true today…

What feeling exhausted taught me today.

 

So this morning after a 5am alarm call (I hate getting up before 6:30am, it’s not good for me)

I rolled out of bed, got ready and made it into work.

Standing there this morning as I waited for my double espresso to pour out I had all these feels

Of being overwhelmed.

I was feeling like I had so much to do and not enough time to do that, you’ve almost certainly felt this way before right?

I was thinking there’s just so much work to be done to make DH fitness into the life changing company it can be.

Also thinking about how much I want to be the best athlete I can be
As I sat there sipping my coffee, both these feeling were followed up with doubt, fear, overwhelm, dread and stress.

Right there and then I stopped myself in the moment that point where you catch yourself

And I said to myself…

…What if all I do is being better today than I was yesterday?

Let me say that again

What if all I do is be better today that I was yesterday?

Because let’s face that’s all we have, the now, the today

The past is over right, we can’t change that

The future isn’t really ours to own or change either.

Yeah we can plan, organise, dream etc.

But we really only have today and right now.

So instead of me thinking how can I improve all these areas in my life and stressing the f**k out about then, I just though…

What can I do today to be better?

An immense weight lifting from me,

So today I’m going to do one thing to inspire one person (might even come from this blog that’s why I wrote it)

Its might be during our team training and development session today
Or it might be a member of dh fitness…either way all I need to do to know I’m on point today is inspire and motivate 1 person.

As for my journey to being the best athlete I can be

All I’m going to do is go and train and give it the best i’ve got, nothing more and nothing less…That’s all I can ask of myself.

Thanks for reading the ramble

Alpha Dave, Aiming to be the best version of myself one day at a time.

What Do You Do If You Don’t Have Time?

You say you don’t have time and struggle to find the time to work on your goals…

I say…BS.

I’m not going to beat around the bush here, I’m going straight into it.

You say you don’t have time to work on your goals…I say you’re not MAKING the time.

Let’s break down the ‘lack of time myth’:

– You have 168 hours per week…WE ALL HAVE THIS. Everyone from you, to Bill Gates and Serena Williams.

– Sleep for 50 of them (average 7hours per night)

– Work for 40 of them,

– Groom for 8 of them,

– Eat and drink for 10 of them…

So how are you spending the other 60 hours, or more specifically 8.5hours per day?

Let’s say you have other commitments, longer working hours, family, gym, commuting to work etc.

ALL that taken into account are you REALLY telling me you don’t have JUST 60 minutes spare per day to work on your dreams?

JUST 7hours per week MAX. 

If you read this and say “No I still don’t have time”. Then my advise to you is your goals aren’t enough for you because if you can’t carve out a little time to work on your dreams then your dreams aren’t for you.

That’s all it takes to get started, 60minutes per day to to work on your dream body, life, business, career or whatever your ambition is.

For most people to find 60minutes extra per day just need to stop mindlessly scrolling Facebook or Instagram and they’ll find time.

Imagine if you just did 60minutes today on your goal, that’s an extra 60minutes you’ve spent on your goal today than you did yesterday. By doing this you are now at least ONE step closer to the outcome you want.

Everything in life in HOW you view it from your perspective. This is partly what MINDSET is.

Someone says; “I don’t have time”.

I say; “You’re not making time”. All because we are both looking at it from different angles.

Change the way you view things and this will transform how you spend those valuable minutes.

You’re either moving closer to your dreams or further away and this comes down to your value of time and how you use it.

Alpha Dave

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What Do You Do If You’re NOT Good Enough?

Throughout your life you will come up against hurdles and challenges you weren’t prepared to face. Things that will derail you from your goals if you allow them.

There are going to be times when you just aren’t enough to meet your goals. You won’t be fit enough, strong enough, smart enough or experienced enough to attain the outcome/s you want.

Even with all the fuzzy motivational, affirmation, “You can do it” BS out there the facts are as simple as black and white.

  • Sometimes in life you just won’t be good enough to meet the mark.
  • Sometimes you’ll go after a goal in life and you will miss it.
  • Sometimes in life you’ll go after a new job and you’ll be rejected.
  • Sometimes in life you’ll go after attaining the outcome you desire and you won’t be good enough.

All the wishful thinking, positive mental attitude and reciting affirmation over and over again WON’T bridge that cap between where you ARE…And Where you WANT to be.

HOWEVER…

This is not the time to quit or tell yourself you aren’t enough.

This IS the time to MAKE yourself good enough.

I don’t care what people out there say, If you are willing to put in enough effort, hard work, sacrifice, commitment, positive moves, adjustments, work on yourself, your mindset, body, confidence and build the right support network around you…

There’s very little you WON’T achieve.

Of cause we’re not all made to be LeBron James, or Usain Bolts. Genetics does play a part in some physical and mental capacities.

BUT..

It’s easy to quit and put off your dreams by saying,

“Well he or she was born that way”. “They have better genetics than me”. 

Or, “They’re lucky”. 

Or, “They have it different to me, my life’s different”. 

These boring, worn out excuses are easier to recite as a way of explaining peoples lack of commitment to their success…Than it is to roll up the sleeves and dig deep.

You have a choice, When you miss the mark on your goals and aren’t enough to reach them right now, you can either hide away in your shell and spout off BS excuses…

OR you can get your head down and MAKE yourself good enough.

– This is the time to train harder, push further and do more than your competitors are willing to doing.

– This is the time to get your head down, learn more, study harder, make adjustments to your social life and become more educated.

– This is the time to put the work in, pay your dues, work smarter and get experienced within your profession.

Through hard work, consistent effort, sacrifice, patience and some sheer grit…IT is the time to MAKE yourself good enough so that one day soon you CAN reach your goals.

There are NO easy quick fix or any motivational quote I can put in here to leave you feeling all fuzzy and warm inside that everything will be ok.

The ONLY way you and I will EVER achieve our ambitions is if we make ourselves do it and make ourselves GOOD ENOUGH to have them.

Alpha Dave

The Paralyzing Power of Feeling Overwhelmed.

The paralyzing power of feeling overwhelmed and the NEGATIVE affect it has on your life.

The scenario;

We start a new career path or business, or maybe a new training and dieting program and because we are excited and motivated our intention is to do as MUCH as we can.

We want to do it all now and strike whilst our motivation and energy is highest. We feel we can take on the world, We want to be at our end goal NOW…

But because of this do we actually end up biting off more than we can chew or taking on more than we can handle? 

We try so hard to do it ALL, that we end up doing nothing and become paralyzed with feeling overwhelmed.

For example:

We try to do everything on our new diet, following the plan 100%, buy all the recommend supplements, the healthy foods, cooking clean meals, avoiding social events, cutting back on alcohol, sugar etc.

However after a few weeks we realise that we just can’t keep this pace so we end up stopping. Or we adjust the diet to fit and end up doing less and less until we eventually go back to eating how we did before we started.

Let’s say the goal is to get in shape so we hit the gym 5-6 x per week, every week. Doing classes, HIIT training, cardio, weights, core work etc…We try and fit it all in but we get tired, burned out, we miss sessions and then get peed off. The more this happens the higher our chances are of stopping. We started out by doing more exercise than we can physically and mentally handle and the only way forward is to do less. The problem with doing ‘less’ is we can feel like we’re failing.

Maybe we start doing a sport and we try to progress quickly because we want to get good at it sooner rather than later. We try and develop the fitness, the strength, the skills and knowledge that go with the sport, But its a long process. We end up realising that their’s soooo much to it that we haven’t got time to fit it in. So we either continue to feel overwhelmed and underprepared in the sport, feeling like we aren’t good enough…Or we quit.

Maybe we start a new career or open a new business, we start doing everything, reading and learning everything. Going onto courses, building our skills, marketing, getting new clients, networking, branding, tax returns., accounts, sales, employment, trying to get ahead, putting more hours in…The list goes on.

We dive in the deep end and try and swim. We try and keep pace but realise that we are doing everything, and none of it to the standard needed to create a successful business or a flying career. We realise we can’t keep this pace so we feel stressed, burned out, anxious. We start to procrastinate on tasks, decisions, things don’t move forward as quickly as we’d like. So we start to panic, get frustrated and stress ourselves out.

We’re not growing the business at the rate we want. We’re spending almost every waking minute consumed by the business/career. Over time we’ll spend year upon year driving everyone close to us away and all we’ll have is a business/job that you LIVE to work for, becoming a slave to it. And every waking day is just a series of stresses and overwhelm.

In most of these situations feeling OVERWHELMED is the core of it all. This sometimes can become so intense that we end up procrastinating. And this means we end up doing NOTHING…Which makes us feel MORE overwhelmed and stressed… So the cycle continues. 

Overwhelm

Why does this happen?

Because as humans and we already have a full plate in our lives. We’re already doing and juggling so much, especially in the modern world where we WANT to have it all.

HOWEVER we only have so much time, energy and mental space for so many things (Work, Family, Fitness, Fun, Sport, Eating, Sleeping, Social time, Down Time, Personal development)…especially if we want to have everything that life offers.

So what SHOULD we do?

“Swing Singles”.

The key is to take small BUT consistent swings at life, or put differently just take one step at a time…aka Swing Singles.

The aim is to do JUST ONE THING, OR TAKE THAT ONE STEP that moves you closer to your goal/s. And ONLY one thing until this becomes a permanent part of your daily routine

Then once we’ve done that we can focus on the next step WHILST continuing to do step 1.

For example:

+ If you want to improve your nutrition then change ONE eating habit. For example eat a healthy breakfast 6 days per week for 4 weeks. This ingrains the HABIT. Just do ONE thing. Leave everything else until you can consistently eat a healthy breakfast. Don’t worry about lunch, dinner, snacks etc. Don’t worry about gluten and sugar content right now. Just nail down 1 meal. Get that right first and THEN move on.

+ If you want to improve your fitness and you DON’T exercise right now, then start with doing 10minutes of exercise 3 x per week. If you do exercise then just increase what you do by 10%. So if you run 5miles 3 x per week then run 5.5miles. Avoid trying to add in 1-2 more sessions per week, or trying to go 5 x per week. You’re got to do things that are manageable. Start small then build up.

+ If you want to grow your business choose 1 AREA to work on and do this consistently for 4 weeks. If it’s sales that could be make 1 phone call to a perceptive client 5 days per week for 4 weeks. Then do 2 per day and so now. Ingrain the habit of ‘DOING’ into your schedule.

It sounds so simple…And it is in theory.

What makes this strategy work is YOUR doing something that will have a positive affect on the area of life you wish to improve. Doing something that is manageable and then ‘doing it’ over and over again (swinging singles) until it brings results.

Results aren’t achieved by hitting a ‘home run’ every once in a while or trying to keep hitting them over and over even when you keep missing. This one hit wonder mentality and trying to do it ALL in one go, is what’s leaving you feeling more overwhelmed because you continue to miss the long term results.

The key is to keep hitting that ball for a single. Then move to base one, then hit it for another single and you move to base 2 etc etc. I’m using a Baseball metaphor to describe Swing Singles…But I think it fits really well.

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Most people try this all or nothing approach. It’s all in at 100%. But then after 3-4 weeks or so motivation drops and every week they end up doing less, 90%, 80%, 70% etc. Until they end up doing ZERO…Sound familiar?

However when you swing singles the approach is to do 10% this week, then 20% next month, then 30% and so on. We continue to move forward and do MORE…Not do less.

Once you have that one habit ingrained into you and your DAILY routine for about a 28day time period…Then start the next habit, swing that next single. And repeat the process…This strategy works. 

Swing singles everyday and that is when the magic happens.
Remember you are human, your not a robot. You can’t keep doing more and more, you’ll burn out, get overwhelmed, stressed and frustrated…Then you’ll quit.

Flip this on its head, do less now. Start small and build upon these habits over time.

The art of swinging singles is the secret to LONG TERM success.

Alpha Dave

The 3 Certainties in Life…

There are 3 certainties in life…

 
Death,

Taxes,

And Change.

 
Regardless if you’re ready for change or trying to avoid it, it is an inevitable part of our lives. Without change we as humans could not have evolved. The life we live, the world around us, even the planet we live in could and would not be what it is today without it evolving (change).

Change whether good, bad or indifferent is always just around the corner and the best way we can deal with it is to…Roll with it.
If you fear change, try to hold onto what you’ve got because of fear. Hide away from it or try to control it you’ll always be living a life feeling caught of guard, unaware, fearful and stressed.

This is how many people live their lives. We can fear the unknown, or when we are happy with something/someone we don’t want that to adjust, end, transform. As humans we search for the comfortable, the knowable, the safe.

However this can keep us living in fear. And then when change does occur we are caught of guard and this can have a serious affect on our mindset, life and future self.

Once you expect that it’s an inevitable part of our existence then you can move onto…

Embracing change, rolling with it, dealing with it, modelling it or even influencing it.
Trying to control the world around you is pointless, the only thing you can control is you…And even that sometimes feels like its not possible all the time.
HOWEVER…

As the world and our lives evolve, be free to embrace this and accept that its necessary.

Then focus on controlling you, your thoughts, your actions, your behaviours and do this through an ever changing life…And you’ll do just fine.

As the band Oasis said…“You’ve gotta Roll With It”. 
Alpha Dave.

What Are You Willing to Do to WIN?

When I’m talking about ‘winning’ in this blog I’m referring to winning at anything in life, sport, business, love or financial success…..

Basically you achieving your major goal/purpose.

I would like you to read this from your own perspective and take it into context with your major purpose and passion. The area/s of life you are striving for growth and success in.

Questions:

  1. To be successful and win in your chosen area, what are you ‘willing’ to give and do?

     2. What are you NOT willing to do, give in order to become successful?

So often we ask this question to ourselves or maybe a coach or mentor does;

“What are you WILLING to do to achieve your goal/s?”

What we are willing to do will vary from person to person because their desires, passion, ethics, upbringing, morals and abilities come into play here.

However, I also believe a great question to ALSO ask yourself is;

“What are you NOT willing to do, give or have in order to make it to the top?”

See for all of us we have a line, a line that we will not and can not cross. And this can go from anything from the number of hours we can/are willing to work, the sacrifices we are willing to make…Right down to the ethics and morals we might be willing to put into questions in order to reach the top.

It’s a balance for anyone trying to become successful. A balance between what we are willing to do to achieve our goal/win, and what are aren’t.

Where do you draw the line when it comes to;

  • Sacrifices in terms of money, time and effort.
  • Playing to win.
  • Increasing your knowledge base, learning and skill level.
  • Stresses placed upon family, partners, loved ones, friends and relationships.
  • Financial investment.
  • Screwing others over to reach the top.
  • Partaking in unethical activities in business, sport and life.

 

JUST TO NOTE: I’m not saying that to be a winner or to succeed in your endeavors you need to be unethical, cheat or screw people over. Far from it.

However what I am saying is you have to understand to your very core what YOU personally are willing to give to attain your goal.

People have their own views on what it takes to win and that’s anything from hard work, making sacrifices to blatant cheating and underhanded tactics.

So here’s a question to you,

In your OWN opinion do you NEED to cheat the system or go against the grain to WIN in your chosen area?

OR

Can you achieve success by playing by the rules? 

How you personally answer this questions will probably tell you all you need to know about your own personal mindset and beliefs around success.

How many people have heard the same old line about someone who’s become successful in business…

‘In order for them to reach the top they’ve probably screwed a lot of people over on their way up’.

What about in sport;

‘Yeah they’re only that good because they cheat or take drugs’.

I’ve heard these lines time and time again and I’m sure you have. People tend to use these to rationalise someone else’s success when it seems alien to them, or not possible in that persons mind.

The problem is how many people ‘actually’ start to believe these worn out lines and because they have heard them so often that they actually believe them. So much so that they CAN stop pursuing their own goals because they think they HAVE to cheat or be un-ethical to win and aren’t willing to do it.

OR on the flip side.

They actually believe the only way to reach the top is via these routes so they start screwing people over or cheating in sport in a pursuit to reach the top.

 

However in my opinion what we SHOULD focus on is OURSELVES. 

What are you willing and not willing to do to be successful?

Forget about the stories, forget about what you ‘think’ you know about what it takes and just focus on what you are willing to give to achieve your dreams.

This is ALL you can focus on.

Be willing to go down your own journey, do it your own way. Not following the crowd or following some preconceived notion that to be successful you must do X,Y or Z.

Your level of success is determined by what you personally give to it and ultimately whether you can sleep at night with a clear conscience when all is said and done.

Thanks for reading today.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this below?

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

Risk Vs Reward

Now it’s post Mayweather Vs McGregor fight, I thought it would be the ideal time to write a blog like this.

With anything worth having in life such as Love, Success, Happiness, Business, Financial Security, Fitness etc there are trade offs…It’s what I like to call…

Risk vs Reward.

The risk I’m referring to in this case is the risk you personally take to reach your goals, to level up and to reach a higher position in your life.

People risk anything from their Money, Health, Reputation, Relationships etc to reach their goals.

And usually the bigger the risk (gamble) the higher the reward…SHOULD it come off.

A little bit like the risk McGregor took to fight one of the ALL TIME GREATEST pound for pound boxers. It’s a huge risk and gamble, however the rewards are also high enough for him to make a ‘calculated risk’.

This is why many entrepreneurs, athletes and success people who want MORE in and from their lives are willing to take bigger risks to succeed…And what we see are those paying off in terms of success, money, fame, business, love etc.

People who have a growth and abundance mindset are willing to risk money, time, effort, possible relationships, health, lives, reputations and even their own sanity in the hope that THEY WILL reach their goals. And they do this because they understand that WITHOUT taking a gamble and chasing their goals in life…There can be NO pay off at the end.

 

Many people before the Mayweather Vs McGregor fight said that Conor had nothing to lose. He was stepping into another sport, one he isn’t specifically trained for. He was fighting one of the best pound for pound boxers and he was going to make upwards of $100 million, win, lose or draw.

However what we forget is that in the early part of Conor’s career he was taking BIGGER risks for smaller rewards and all under the banner of HOPE.

Quitting his job to pursue a career in MMA. Living on social welfare. Falling out with his Dad over it.

People around him not believing in him, facing his doubters and haters.

Also risking injury and his health during fights. Lots of risk for very little financial reward, especially in the early part of his career.

See Conor weighed up the risk vs the reward and WAS STILL willing to risk it ALL…Because he believed in himself enough that he could see himself achieving success in the sport. Maybe not to the heights he has done, But certainly at a level of success he could be happy with.

And this is ultimately what it takes for any of us to achieve success.

There will be things we MUST risk. Things we must put on the line. Things and areas of our life we have to sacrifice in order to achieve success, scale new highs and reap the rewards. Because if we risk nothing then we run the ‘risk’ of staying exactly where we are right now. 

So what are you willing to risk?

Those people who aren’t willing to risk anything usually don’t get very far. They’re not willing to stick their neck on the line. Their not willing to go all in, And this keeps them with a mindset of scarcity…One foot in and one foot out.

They have one foot on the path they must travel to achieve success…And the other foot is left in safety and security. They hesitate to go ‘ALL IN’.

With this half in half out mindset they can say to themselves;

“Well if it doesn’t work out I’ve not lost anything”.

‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained’.

They aren’t willing to risk, so more often than not they’ll not able to receive.

This blog isn’t about me telling you to quit your job or to gamble on your life. It’s more about me giving you an alternative approach…

If you aren’t willing to go ‘ALL IN’ on something, then how do you ever hope to reap the rewards?

100% calculated risks are a good approach for the more conservative personality. However the ‘option’ of being able to make a more calculated risk comes from having ALREADY put more on the line in your early years, a little bit like Conor and many other successful people. They’ve taken risks and now are in a position to be smarter and more choosy about their future options.

HOWEVER many of us who are starting out or about to take that big leap are NOT in the same position.

My advise to you is this.

Take a look at the back story of the people that inspire you most.

  • How did they make it to the top?
  • Where did they start.
  • What did they do?
  • What did the risk/sacrifice?

Success leaves clues.

At some point and probably more often than not they’ll have taken a gamble, a punt at pursuing their ambition in life…What you’re now seeing is them reaping the rewards of that.

No one gets to the top without hard work, consistency, sacrifice, self belief, support from others and the ability to jump in with both feet.

Yes it’s always a gamble because there are NO guarantees.

Sure we can take calculated risks but at the end of the day with any goal your aspiring to achieve their will always be uncertainty.

You might give it all, jump in with both feet…And still not reach the heights you want.

But I guarantee you this…

If you stay on the side line, If you keep one foot in and one foot out, if you aren’t willing to give it all, Then you WON’T achieve your dreams or get anywhere near them anyway. Doing nothing in this case is worse.

So balance it up for you.

What risks can you take?

What are you willing to take?

Is that enough to reach the level of success you want in sport, business, life, love? 

And what are the rewards you could potentially have if you go for it? 

It’s a game and it’s one you have to be willing to play if you want to stand any chance of winning. 

Dare to believe…Dare to be Alpha.

Alpha Dave.