The Paralyzing Power of Feeling Overwhelmed.

The paralyzing power of feeling overwhelmed and the NEGATIVE affect it has on your life.

The scenario;

We start a new career path or business, or maybe a new training and dieting program and because we are excited and motivated our intention is to do as MUCH as we can.

We want to do it all now and strike whilst our motivation and energy is highest. We feel we can take on the world, We want to be at our end goal NOW…

But because of this do we actually end up biting off more than we can chew or taking on more than we can handle? 

We try so hard to do it ALL, that we end up doing nothing and become paralyzed with feeling overwhelmed.

For example:

We try to do everything on our new diet, following the plan 100%, buy all the recommend supplements, the healthy foods, cooking clean meals, avoiding social events, cutting back on alcohol, sugar etc.

However after a few weeks we realise that we just can’t keep this pace so we end up stopping. Or we adjust the diet to fit and end up doing less and less until we eventually go back to eating how we did before we started.

Let’s say the goal is to get in shape so we hit the gym 5-6 x per week, every week. Doing classes, HIIT training, cardio, weights, core work etc…We try and fit it all in but we get tired, burned out, we miss sessions and then get peed off. The more this happens the higher our chances are of stopping. We started out by doing more exercise than we can physically and mentally handle and the only way forward is to do less. The problem with doing ‘less’ is we can feel like we’re failing.

Maybe we start doing a sport and we try to progress quickly because we want to get good at it sooner rather than later. We try and develop the fitness, the strength, the skills and knowledge that go with the sport, But its a long process. We end up realising that their’s soooo much to it that we haven’t got time to fit it in. So we either continue to feel overwhelmed and underprepared in the sport, feeling like we aren’t good enough…Or we quit.

Maybe we start a new career or open a new business, we start doing everything, reading and learning everything. Going onto courses, building our skills, marketing, getting new clients, networking, branding, tax returns., accounts, sales, employment, trying to get ahead, putting more hours in…The list goes on.

We dive in the deep end and try and swim. We try and keep pace but realise that we are doing everything, and none of it to the standard needed to create a successful business or a flying career. We realise we can’t keep this pace so we feel stressed, burned out, anxious. We start to procrastinate on tasks, decisions, things don’t move forward as quickly as we’d like. So we start to panic, get frustrated and stress ourselves out.

We’re not growing the business at the rate we want. We’re spending almost every waking minute consumed by the business/career. Over time we’ll spend year upon year driving everyone close to us away and all we’ll have is a business/job that you LIVE to work for, becoming a slave to it. And every waking day is just a series of stresses and overwhelm.

In most of these situations feeling OVERWHELMED is the core of it all. This sometimes can become so intense that we end up procrastinating. And this means we end up doing NOTHING…Which makes us feel MORE overwhelmed and stressed… So the cycle continues. 

Overwhelm

Why does this happen?

Because as humans and we already have a full plate in our lives. We’re already doing and juggling so much, especially in the modern world where we WANT to have it all.

HOWEVER we only have so much time, energy and mental space for so many things (Work, Family, Fitness, Fun, Sport, Eating, Sleeping, Social time, Down Time, Personal development)…especially if we want to have everything that life offers.

So what SHOULD we do?

“Swing Singles”.

The key is to take small BUT consistent swings at life, or put differently just take one step at a time…aka Swing Singles.

The aim is to do JUST ONE THING, OR TAKE THAT ONE STEP that moves you closer to your goal/s. And ONLY one thing until this becomes a permanent part of your daily routine

Then once we’ve done that we can focus on the next step WHILST continuing to do step 1.

For example:

+ If you want to improve your nutrition then change ONE eating habit. For example eat a healthy breakfast 6 days per week for 4 weeks. This ingrains the HABIT. Just do ONE thing. Leave everything else until you can consistently eat a healthy breakfast. Don’t worry about lunch, dinner, snacks etc. Don’t worry about gluten and sugar content right now. Just nail down 1 meal. Get that right first and THEN move on.

+ If you want to improve your fitness and you DON’T exercise right now, then start with doing 10minutes of exercise 3 x per week. If you do exercise then just increase what you do by 10%. So if you run 5miles 3 x per week then run 5.5miles. Avoid trying to add in 1-2 more sessions per week, or trying to go 5 x per week. You’re got to do things that are manageable. Start small then build up.

+ If you want to grow your business choose 1 AREA to work on and do this consistently for 4 weeks. If it’s sales that could be make 1 phone call to a perceptive client 5 days per week for 4 weeks. Then do 2 per day and so now. Ingrain the habit of ‘DOING’ into your schedule.

It sounds so simple…And it is in theory.

What makes this strategy work is YOUR doing something that will have a positive affect on the area of life you wish to improve. Doing something that is manageable and then ‘doing it’ over and over again (swinging singles) until it brings results.

Results aren’t achieved by hitting a ‘home run’ every once in a while or trying to keep hitting them over and over even when you keep missing. This one hit wonder mentality and trying to do it ALL in one go, is what’s leaving you feeling more overwhelmed because you continue to miss the long term results.

The key is to keep hitting that ball for a single. Then move to base one, then hit it for another single and you move to base 2 etc etc. I’m using a Baseball metaphor to describe Swing Singles…But I think it fits really well.

203908-0-600

 

Most people try this all or nothing approach. It’s all in at 100%. But then after 3-4 weeks or so motivation drops and every week they end up doing less, 90%, 80%, 70% etc. Until they end up doing ZERO…Sound familiar?

However when you swing singles the approach is to do 10% this week, then 20% next month, then 30% and so on. We continue to move forward and do MORE…Not do less.

Once you have that one habit ingrained into you and your DAILY routine for about a 28day time period…Then start the next habit, swing that next single. And repeat the process…This strategy works. 

Swing singles everyday and that is when the magic happens.
Remember you are human, your not a robot. You can’t keep doing more and more, you’ll burn out, get overwhelmed, stressed and frustrated…Then you’ll quit.

Flip this on its head, do less now. Start small and build upon these habits over time.

The art of swinging singles is the secret to LONG TERM success.

Alpha Dave

The 3 Certainties in Life…

There are 3 certainties in life…

 
Death,

Taxes,

And Change.

 
Regardless if you’re ready for change or trying to avoid it, it is an inevitable part of our lives. Without change we as humans could not have evolved. The life we live, the world around us, even the planet we live in could and would not be what it is today without it evolving (change).

Change whether good, bad or indifferent is always just around the corner and the best way we can deal with it is to…Roll with it.
If you fear change, try to hold onto what you’ve got because of fear. Hide away from it or try to control it you’ll always be living a life feeling caught of guard, unaware, fearful and stressed.

This is how many people live their lives. We can fear the unknown, or when we are happy with something/someone we don’t want that to adjust, end, transform. As humans we search for the comfortable, the knowable, the safe.

However this can keep us living in fear. And then when change does occur we are caught of guard and this can have a serious affect on our mindset, life and future self.

Once you expect that it’s an inevitable part of our existence then you can move onto…

Embracing change, rolling with it, dealing with it, modelling it or even influencing it.
Trying to control the world around you is pointless, the only thing you can control is you…And even that sometimes feels like its not possible all the time.
HOWEVER…

As the world and our lives evolve, be free to embrace this and accept that its necessary.

Then focus on controlling you, your thoughts, your actions, your behaviours and do this through an ever changing life…And you’ll do just fine.

As the band Oasis said…“You’ve gotta Roll With It”. 
Alpha Dave.

What Are You Willing to Do to WIN?

When I’m talking about ‘winning’ in this blog I’m referring to winning at anything in life, sport, business, love or financial success…..

Basically you achieving your major goal/purpose.

I would like you to read this from your own perspective and take it into context with your major purpose and passion. The area/s of life you are striving for growth and success in.

Questions:

  1. To be successful and win in your chosen area, what are you ‘willing’ to give and do?

     2. What are you NOT willing to do, give in order to become successful?

So often we ask this question to ourselves or maybe a coach or mentor does;

“What are you WILLING to do to achieve your goal/s?”

What we are willing to do will vary from person to person because their desires, passion, ethics, upbringing, morals and abilities come into play here.

However, I also believe a great question to ALSO ask yourself is;

“What are you NOT willing to do, give or have in order to make it to the top?”

See for all of us we have a line, a line that we will not and can not cross. And this can go from anything from the number of hours we can/are willing to work, the sacrifices we are willing to make…Right down to the ethics and morals we might be willing to put into questions in order to reach the top.

It’s a balance for anyone trying to become successful. A balance between what we are willing to do to achieve our goal/win, and what are aren’t.

Where do you draw the line when it comes to;

  • Sacrifices in terms of money, time and effort.
  • Playing to win.
  • Increasing your knowledge base, learning and skill level.
  • Stresses placed upon family, partners, loved ones, friends and relationships.
  • Financial investment.
  • Screwing others over to reach the top.
  • Partaking in unethical activities in business, sport and life.

 

JUST TO NOTE: I’m not saying that to be a winner or to succeed in your endeavors you need to be unethical, cheat or screw people over. Far from it.

However what I am saying is you have to understand to your very core what YOU personally are willing to give to attain your goal.

People have their own views on what it takes to win and that’s anything from hard work, making sacrifices to blatant cheating and underhanded tactics.

So here’s a question to you,

In your OWN opinion do you NEED to cheat the system or go against the grain to WIN in your chosen area?

OR

Can you achieve success by playing by the rules? 

How you personally answer this questions will probably tell you all you need to know about your own personal mindset and beliefs around success.

How many people have heard the same old line about someone who’s become successful in business…

‘In order for them to reach the top they’ve probably screwed a lot of people over on their way up’.

What about in sport;

‘Yeah they’re only that good because they cheat or take drugs’.

I’ve heard these lines time and time again and I’m sure you have. People tend to use these to rationalise someone else’s success when it seems alien to them, or not possible in that persons mind.

The problem is how many people ‘actually’ start to believe these worn out lines and because they have heard them so often that they actually believe them. So much so that they CAN stop pursuing their own goals because they think they HAVE to cheat or be un-ethical to win and aren’t willing to do it.

OR on the flip side.

They actually believe the only way to reach the top is via these routes so they start screwing people over or cheating in sport in a pursuit to reach the top.

 

However in my opinion what we SHOULD focus on is OURSELVES. 

What are you willing and not willing to do to be successful?

Forget about the stories, forget about what you ‘think’ you know about what it takes and just focus on what you are willing to give to achieve your dreams.

This is ALL you can focus on.

Be willing to go down your own journey, do it your own way. Not following the crowd or following some preconceived notion that to be successful you must do X,Y or Z.

Your level of success is determined by what you personally give to it and ultimately whether you can sleep at night with a clear conscience when all is said and done.

Thanks for reading today.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this below?

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

Risk Vs Reward

Now it’s post Mayweather Vs McGregor fight, I thought it would be the ideal time to write a blog like this.

With anything worth having in life such as Love, Success, Happiness, Business, Financial Security, Fitness etc there are trade offs…It’s what I like to call…

Risk vs Reward.

The risk I’m referring to in this case is the risk you personally take to reach your goals, to level up and to reach a higher position in your life.

People risk anything from their Money, Health, Reputation, Relationships etc to reach their goals.

And usually the bigger the risk (gamble) the higher the reward…SHOULD it come off.

A little bit like the risk McGregor took to fight one of the ALL TIME GREATEST pound for pound boxers. It’s a huge risk and gamble, however the rewards are also high enough for him to make a ‘calculated risk’.

This is why many entrepreneurs, athletes and success people who want MORE in and from their lives are willing to take bigger risks to succeed…And what we see are those paying off in terms of success, money, fame, business, love etc.

People who have a growth and abundance mindset are willing to risk money, time, effort, possible relationships, health, lives, reputations and even their own sanity in the hope that THEY WILL reach their goals. And they do this because they understand that WITHOUT taking a gamble and chasing their goals in life…There can be NO pay off at the end.

 

Many people before the Mayweather Vs McGregor fight said that Conor had nothing to lose. He was stepping into another sport, one he isn’t specifically trained for. He was fighting one of the best pound for pound boxers and he was going to make upwards of $100 million, win, lose or draw.

However what we forget is that in the early part of Conor’s career he was taking BIGGER risks for smaller rewards and all under the banner of HOPE.

Quitting his job to pursue a career in MMA. Living on social welfare. Falling out with his Dad over it.

People around him not believing in him, facing his doubters and haters.

Also risking injury and his health during fights. Lots of risk for very little financial reward, especially in the early part of his career.

See Conor weighed up the risk vs the reward and WAS STILL willing to risk it ALL…Because he believed in himself enough that he could see himself achieving success in the sport. Maybe not to the heights he has done, But certainly at a level of success he could be happy with.

And this is ultimately what it takes for any of us to achieve success.

There will be things we MUST risk. Things we must put on the line. Things and areas of our life we have to sacrifice in order to achieve success, scale new highs and reap the rewards. Because if we risk nothing then we run the ‘risk’ of staying exactly where we are right now. 

So what are you willing to risk?

Those people who aren’t willing to risk anything usually don’t get very far. They’re not willing to stick their neck on the line. Their not willing to go all in, And this keeps them with a mindset of scarcity…One foot in and one foot out.

They have one foot on the path they must travel to achieve success…And the other foot is left in safety and security. They hesitate to go ‘ALL IN’.

With this half in half out mindset they can say to themselves;

“Well if it doesn’t work out I’ve not lost anything”.

‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained’.

They aren’t willing to risk, so more often than not they’ll not able to receive.

This blog isn’t about me telling you to quit your job or to gamble on your life. It’s more about me giving you an alternative approach…

If you aren’t willing to go ‘ALL IN’ on something, then how do you ever hope to reap the rewards?

100% calculated risks are a good approach for the more conservative personality. However the ‘option’ of being able to make a more calculated risk comes from having ALREADY put more on the line in your early years, a little bit like Conor and many other successful people. They’ve taken risks and now are in a position to be smarter and more choosy about their future options.

HOWEVER many of us who are starting out or about to take that big leap are NOT in the same position.

My advise to you is this.

Take a look at the back story of the people that inspire you most.

  • How did they make it to the top?
  • Where did they start.
  • What did they do?
  • What did the risk/sacrifice?

Success leaves clues.

At some point and probably more often than not they’ll have taken a gamble, a punt at pursuing their ambition in life…What you’re now seeing is them reaping the rewards of that.

No one gets to the top without hard work, consistency, sacrifice, self belief, support from others and the ability to jump in with both feet.

Yes it’s always a gamble because there are NO guarantees.

Sure we can take calculated risks but at the end of the day with any goal your aspiring to achieve their will always be uncertainty.

You might give it all, jump in with both feet…And still not reach the heights you want.

But I guarantee you this…

If you stay on the side line, If you keep one foot in and one foot out, if you aren’t willing to give it all, Then you WON’T achieve your dreams or get anywhere near them anyway. Doing nothing in this case is worse.

So balance it up for you.

What risks can you take?

What are you willing to take?

Is that enough to reach the level of success you want in sport, business, life, love? 

And what are the rewards you could potentially have if you go for it? 

It’s a game and it’s one you have to be willing to play if you want to stand any chance of winning. 

Dare to believe…Dare to be Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To Have MORE You Must Become MORE.

It’s human nature to desire, want and need more in our lives.

More purpose, happiness, love, success, money, freedom etc.

These desires run deep and I’ll say this right now…There’s nothing wrong with wanting more, its human nature.

This is why so many people set goals for themselves, everything from their career, income, bodies, lifestyles etc.

People set goals because they want more and a goal gives them a target, direction, Something to aspire and work towards.

On top of that if gives you good feelings when you image your life HAVING that goal in it.

Because of goal setting and the ‘You can have whatever you want’ motivational phenomenon we have seen a surge in motivational and coaching guru’s telling us we CAN have more, we CAN do it…Hell in a way, I’m one of them.

Through social media, youtube, audios, books, seminars, coaching events more and more people are chasing their dreams, And I personally tip my hat to everyone that’s chasing theirs.

HOWEVER >>>

You must also understand that there is a vital piece of this equation that is over looked.

To have more you must become MORE.

To achieve more success, love, happiness, income, health etc you MUST as an individual, evolve, grow and level up.

There’s this ‘theory’ that if we set goals, wish for them, work hard, then in some magical way those goals will become a reality for us….If it were only that simple.

When we set out sights on something (your goal/s) then they are usually bigger than you right now. What I mean by this is, your goal/s are out of reach and out of your current comfort zone/ability level RIGHT NOW.

Take something like a persons desire to earn more money.

Let’s say you’re on £30k per year, but you want to make £100k per year. That goal is entirely doable, However it is 3 x plus what you’re already earning.

The chances of you making £100k by CONTINUING to do the SAME things that’s making you £30k Is very unlikely.

The chances of you making 3 x your income and being the same person you are right now is also very unlikely.

You’ve heard this saying right?

 

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result”.

 

You aren’t going to increase your income by continuing to work as you are, With the SAME skill, knowledge, attitude, mindset and character level you currently have.

For your income to grow…You’ll need to grow.

You’ll need to become more knowledgeable and skilled in your field. Or you might have to open your own business in which case this brings on a whole new level of skills and expertise you’ll need.

You’ll need to work smarter, more efficient, be more productive, discover how to delegate, manage etc.

Just hoping and day dreaming about MORE money isn’t going to bring MORE into your life. You have to act and become MORE of a person that makes £100k per year.

Building your skills, knowledge, attitude, character, outlook, mindset, body, productivity.

And this principle CAN used for ANY goal.

Let’s say you want to run sub 10sec for 100m. Right now you currently run 10.5sec. Just by doing the exact same workouts, running intervals an lifting the same weights you’re currently doing WON’T get you any quicker.

As you get stronger you have to lift more weight, run faster intervals, train more efficiently, improve your technique. Work on your mental game, be more effective with your nutrition and recovery.

You have to level up your entire game.

This bridges the gap between where you are right now in your life…And where you want to be…

And this goes for anything in life.

The ONLY way you can meet your goals is for you to grow to the same size they are.

final-logo

Ok so what do you do next?

  • Start by looking at the characteristics and habits of people that have or are doing what you want. What do they do daily? What’s their mindset? Work ethic, attitude, commitment, daily habits? What are their daily actions like?

 

  • What habits and characteristics do you need to improve upon or adopt for you to reach a similar level? I’m not saying don’t be you…Always be yourself. What I’m saying is you need to be MORE than you are. So discover what you need to bridge the cap and start building these traits and habits into your life.

 

  • Everyday aspire to be and become more. Improving every area of you and your life. Your mindset, body, career, relationships. Aim and focus on becoming more of a rounded person. Levelling up every area of your life, attitude and character. It takes daily practise until it becomes part of your life.

 

  • Self evaluate yourself, look at your weaknesses. What areas are you weak in and can you either improve upon these through developing skills, hiring a coach etc or are these areas you can delegate and hire someone/s to help you. This is what being smart is all about.  With this also look at your strengths and how you can continue to improve upon these.

 

The key to going from WHERE you are right now in life, to where you want to be (reaching your goal/s) is about levelling up as a person. And the way to doing this is by working on YOU.

Grow as a person and you’ll grow to the size of your goals. 

Dare to dream big…Dare to be Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

It’s Not What You Do…It’s How You Do It.

It’s not what you do…It’s how you do it that counts.

Have you ever heard this saying before…

“How you do something is how you do everything”. 

For any entrepreneur, athlete or professional how you do ANYTHING is how you do EVERYTHING, It’s the STANDARDS you hold yourself to.

This relates to everything from your:

  • Character.
  • Attitude.
  • Professionalism.
  • Commitment.
  • Mindset.
  • Positivity.
  • How you deal with adversity.
  • Work ethic.
  • Determination.
  • Organisation.
  • Communication skills…The list goes on.

 

Let’s take attitude for a moment and use it in a context of a persons outlook and approach in life, And lets take it on something very simple like ‘time management’.

If you’re in business and you are always LATE. Late for meetings, late for clients, always have people waiting for you because you have poor time management this becomes a reflection of your attitude.

When it comes to those people who are doing business with you then your poor time management reflects on their opinion of you, how might conduct business and your standards. So they COULD get the opinion that you don’t value their time. That your product and service may also be late in delivery or service. That you can’t stick to time frames and schedules. That you may promise things and not deliver on your word.

All of these have consequences on whether people will continue to do business with you now and in the future.

All because you we were late for meeting/s.

How you do anything is how you do everything. 

So flip this on it’s head and let’s say your early for your meeting.

You’re punctual, You’re well prepared. They’re business matters to you. Your smart, your attitude is one that cares.

This then reflects on how they perceive you are in day to day business and it all comes down to something as simple your time management, because it’s the standards you hold yourself to.

How you do something is how you do everything. 

And this goes for athletes, business owners, people you are in a relationship with and anyone you come into contact with.

Your attitude, mindset, positivity, outlook, professionalism, work ethic etc will reflect in everything you do good or bad.

This is why your character is probably more important than your skill and ability level. You could be the most gifted athlete on the planet but if your work ethic sucks then it’s very unlikely you’re going to reach the peak in your sport.

However let’s say you at a good athlete, not the most naturally gifted BUT you work your ass off in training, in recovery, with your diet and never give less than 100% in everything you do…The likely hood of this person succeeding is dramatically increased over the more gifted athlete who has a weaker character.

Working on your character and attitude is just as important as brushing up on your skills and knowledge. And YES character is learned.

Sure we get a lot of it when we grow up and these are instilled in us during our upbringing…Both our good and not so good traits. But we can always work to be an improved human being…

It’s a state of mind.

Aiming to become a better, more rounded person and becoming a master of yourself and your mind is the ultimate personal journey.

Working on your mindset, outlook, positivity, dedication, self control, confidence, humility and commitment will make you a better person, strengthen your character and better in whatever you do in life.

These things just like any skills have to be worked on and improved. And by doing so you’ll grow to that next level in life.

The truth is you can’t have more in life if you can’t become MORE.

What I mean by this is, you can’t have more happiness, success, freedom, love, money, fun, humility, confidence to name a few if you can’t become MORE of a person yourself.

Just by being the same you as you are right now won’t take you to that next level in your life because you won’t grow. And without growth there is no progress.

You must grow as person in all areas and this starts with a desire to be and become more than you already are.

Develop your character and your level of success with dramatically increase.

Dare to be Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Focus on THE PROCESS And You’ll Reach Your Goal.

‘Focus on THE PROCESS and you’ll maximise the outcome you want’.

The process is something many coaches, athletes and consultants focus more on rather than getting fixated on JUST the goal.

Before we jump in let me be clear, Goals are VERY important. Having an outcome you are aiming for gives you direction. However if all we focus on is THE OUTCOME, It can sometimes seem like we’re chasing something that is way way off in the distance.

Our attention could be to far ahead and screwing up us ‘maximising’ what really counts when it comes to us getting the results we want…The here and now.

What’s key is that we focus on the present and what we can control in the NEXT STEP we’re going to take. And this can be anything like;

Your next workout. Your next work presentation. The next meal your going to eat. These are the things you can focus on and CONTROL.

The issue for many people is that they ONLY focus on the outcome they want and miss everything else.

When we set ourselves an outcome that’s only 10% of the picture, it gives us an end point.

What we need next is a plan. A day by day to-do list or better put…A PROCESS.

The process is what we need to do every hour of every day for us to reach the goal/outcome we have set ourselves…The things we CAN control.

The process is what we follow. And if done correctly with the right attention to detail, focus, ability, consistency, grit, positivity and patience then we can have what it takes to reach our goals.

There’s a lot more that goes into this mix than just the goal and its process…However get these right and you’re well on your way.

So lets say you have a clearly defined goal in mind…

NEXT, Start to think about what you need to do to reach your goal.

+ What do you need to learn, what new skills do you need, what new abilities, what technical elements do you need to do, have, know. What knowledge do you need?

+ What coaching or outside support, influence do you need? 

+ What’s the time frame for the goal? 

+ What bench marks will you put along the way to track progress so you know you’re on track? 

+ What contiguity’s will you put in place for when things don’t go to plan or for future challenges you KNOW will come up? 

+ And MOST importantly are you passionate about the process? 

All of the above need to be serious food for thought when it comes to planning ‘how you’ll reach your goal’. And there’s ONE additional part that slots in here…

Your PASSION.

Being passionate about what your doing everyday will make your journey sooooo much easier. And this is the key. You being passionate about the process.

ONLY being passionate about the possibilities of you achieving your goal is going to cause you a lot of problems. As people we tend to quickly avoid things we dislike or that make us feel uncomfortable, This is human nature.

So it’s very unlikely that you’re going to follow a plan every day for the foreseeable future if you DON’T enjoy it or aren’t passionate about it.

Take for example something like, losing weight and getting fit. This is something many people struggle with. They love the idea of being in shape…But hate the application of it. They dislike exercise and dieting. They start off well due to motivation or being inspired. But once this wears off and all that’s left are early morning/late night gym sessions, going out running in the rain and eating clean foods whilst you pass on your nightly beer or glass of wine…It’s easy to see why people quit.

Those who see LONG TERM success with their fitness and bodies are those that love the process. They love exercise or at the very least enjoy it. Eating healthy is enjoyable and makes them feel good. Over time they stay consistent with their process and they end up reaching their goals.

And this is true for ANY goal in life.

The idea of the outcome (GOAL) is what motivated and inspires us to START. This surge of motivation pushes us over the hump and gets us going. However as this fades off we need to be left with passion for the daily process…The daily work. If we are then we are much more likely to succeed.

If we aren’t…Then for 99% of us, we’ll probably quit.

The process is king and where we need to find fulfilment, success and happiness. The goal is the cherry on the top.

When you can EVERY day fully submerse yourself into the task at hand with your only aim to maximise the outcome of this ONE task, and do this day after day consistently…

Mixed with your ability, dedication, commitment, hard work and focus with intense passion…

Then will you reach your full potential.

 

Dare to be Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

Is The Social Media Syndrome Screwing us?

The social media syndrome is something that a friend of mine calls it, however I thought it was a great name to explain the social phenomenon that’s transforming how we look at our lives and how we compare it to others.

Now before you get the wrong end of the stick I’m by no means bashing social media, I think it’s an amazing tool. It’s great for interaction, reaching audiences of people we wouldn’t have had access too. It’s a great way of keeping in touch, building brands and your personal brand. And obviously a way for us to stick our noses into other peoples lives…I’m joking about that one by the way…Well not really :-).

However this is where social media gets a bit murky and can have a negative affect on our lives and our possible futures.

I’m personally a huge believer in that you can have almost ANYTHING you desire in life, your goals, aims, ambitions. I say ‘almost’ because I believe you still need to have skills and aptitude towards your chosen path,,,But by no means is it the most vital part of the mix but it goes a long way.

I also believe that if you discover, What you want, you work hard for it, surround yourself with the right people and you have patience then you have a recipe for success.

HOWEVER…

The biggest things you must FIRST discover before ANY of the above will work for you is:

  1. Who are YOU? 
  2. What do you want? 

I 100% believe that you must discover who you are as a person, what you believe, what your deepest darkest secrets are, what your BS is, what your excuses are, what your thoughts are, what your interests and passions are…And TRULY discover who you are as a person.

Once you’ve done this then and ONLY then can you understand what you want from life (your goals). Only then can you know what will make you happy and how it fits for you.

And that’s it right? Its about what makes us happy at the end of the day.

Soooo, here’s where the social media syndrome kicks in.

We scroll social media sites and look at OTHER people’s lives (nothing wrong with that, we all do it). We look at what they are doing, where they live. what car they drive, what holidays they go on, what physical shape they are in, how happy they are, how much money they look to have etc etc.

We scroll through and look at other peoples lives through a very small lense or screen.

Then what? And here’s where it can get off track for some people.

We compare. We compare and start to compete. 

  • Why don’t I have XYZ? 
  • They look happy in their lives and I don’t feel as happy in mine.  
  • Should I upgrade my house, car, holiday home, life, partner?  
  • Do I need to have a six pack or a booty to be attractive? 
  • My sport, competitive times and wins aren’t as good as theres so I mustn’t be as good as an athlete as them.
  • They have more followers or get more ‘likes’ than me so they must be more popular than I am.  
  • I need a new job that pays me more money because I NEED more money? 
  • I mustn’t be fulfilled or happy like this person because my relationship doesn’t look likes theirs.

 

This is just a very brief summary of things that can go through our heads when we get onto social media and compare.

Here’s the thing…

We then start getting trapped into other peoples lives and start building our LIVES around what we THINK we want or what we THINK will make us happy. We follow other peoples social media highlight reel (It’s called a highlight because many people only share the GOOD things on social media) that we forget about WHO WE truly are and WHAT WE truly want.

Our goals, dreams and ambitions get put to one side, or forgotten about as we chase an ‘ideal’.

A life that we probably never intended for ourselves buts it’s what we THINK we should do or have. Its what we assume will make us happy because it is what others on social media are doing. Its the life our friends, colleagues and those we follow have.

And we end up getting LOST.

 – We work jobs we hate just for money we don’t need and forget about our passions and purpose in life. 

 – We buy things we don’t want or need and get into debt over them. Having to work even harder and longer in our uninspiring jobs to pay for these things. 

 – We assume that unless we look like an Instragram model we are unattractive and this has a serious negative affect on our mental health, self esteem, self image and confidence. 

– We think that unless I’m making X amount per year then I’m NOT making it in life, business, career. 

We end up losing the sense of what makes us unique…Our individuality

This is what makes you and I unique. It’s the fact that we have our own mind, thoughts, beliefs, up-bring, dreams, goals and outlook on life.

And we miss this and get trapped into the social media bubble…The Social Media Syndrome.

Its time to lift your head up and start to decide what it is YOU want. What will make you truly happy, unfilled and content?

Ask yourself these questions and take time with the answers;

  1. Who am I?
  2. What do i truly want? 

Answer these questions and understand YOU more and you’re ahead of 95% of the population. More importantly when you know the answers you can work towards YOUR dreams.

This is your life and NOW is the time to pursue what will make you happy in life, purpose, body, relationships and mindset.

Discover your inner Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Confidence Comes From Doing The WORK.

 

I know I personally ‘lack’ confidence in something or an area of life, sport, business etc when I haven’t put the practise in.

So if you’re unconfident…How do you become MORE confident in yourself? 

Because the lack of THIS might ‘just’ be the difference between you opening your dream business, going for it in your sport or pursuing your life’s ambitions…

OR you continuing to put it off or you telling yourself reasons as to why you can’t.  

I remember back when I was in secondary school I was a shy unconfident person. To the people who didn’t know me they would probably say I was shy and quite. I was different with those around me, my close friends and family I was the normal outgoing Dave. This is because I was practised in their company. They took and new me for who I was.

But from the outside looking in I was shy and I was worried that people wouldn’t like or accept me. I just didn’t think there was anything special about me. This comes from a self worth issue.

HOWEVER…

This had to change because it affected me when it came to being outgoing. I struggled to get to know people beyond my close circle and struggled even more so with the opposite sex. This became more apparent the older I got and the more into my teens. I just lacked the self confidence to go up to a girl and talk to her.

As I went through School and then into Collage I also new I wanted to work in health and fitness, I wanted to coach people for a living. My dream of becoming personal trainer and a group instructor was in my opinion was going to be affected by my lack of self confidence.

So I did what I thought was best…I threw myself in at the deep end.

I pushed myself to do the work. I contacted a guy who was looking for Boxercise class instructors to assist him in coaching his sessions. I had the skills, I had the knowledge but around new people I was shy.

I remember turning up at this guys first class, I thought they’ll be 15-20 people there max and it won’t be so bad. How wrong I was.

I walked into a class of over 100 people. To say I was put onto the back foot is an understatement. At first it was all about assisting him, but he told me he wanted me to start coaching the classes…I was crapping myself.

But it was a case of teach the class, or quit. But for me quitting is not an option, especially when its just a self doubt issue.

Bit by bit i was introducing myself more to the clients. I practised the workouts and movements at home. I was pushing myself to get my personal skill and with it confidence levels up so I’d be ready to coach.

See I’m a HUGE believe that confidence comes from DOING…Not ‘just’ from listening to motivational tapes, videos or speaking to a therapist. Sure these ALL help…But for me, it comes through DOING. Getting in there and giving it a go. At some point the theory and talk has to stop and the DOING needs to start.

And when you do this you’ll either know its for you and you can continue to get better…or you’ll shy away from it and move onto something else.

F**k it…I jumped in.

My first class, there were almost 90 people in the room and I though…”Screw it, it’s sink or swim time”.

I got in there and gave it all i had.

Was it perfect? Hell No.

Was I crapping myself? Hell Yes.

Did I eventually go on and coach more sessions and deliver a class to over 130 people? Hell Yes I did.

And that was it for me.

LESSON LEARNED:- Anytime I lack confidence in myself, when I come up against something new, a challenge, a fear or self doubt I throw myself into it and practise it. I put the work in and then do it until it becomes comfortable. 

This mentality has seen me through: 

  • Taking over those Boxercise classes and running them myself. 
  • Trekking to Everest Base Camp for 3 weeks and then running the Mount Everest Marathon at 21 years old. 
  • Travelling the world for 8months at the age of 22. 
  • Starting my first training bootcamp and PT business in over 6 locations around the North East of England. 
  • Opening and co-owning my first gym at 25. 
  • Having the confidence to walk up, meet and talk to the love of my life Helenlee. 
  • Closing down my gym with Helenlee because it wasn’t going in the direction of life I wanted anymore. 
  • Starting a New business in consulting and motivational speaking (What I do now)  
  • Starting competitive Crossfit and training to be a full time Crossfit Athlete. 
  • Going to the European Team Crossfit Championships as part of a team in just over 1 year in the sport. 
  • And the journey continues…

 

Confidence comes from doing the work. We all lack confidence in certain areas of life, especially those that are unknown to us. The ONLY REAL way to overcome these and to get past the fear is through doing.

As humans we are built to be cautious, it’s in our make-up and we will shy away from things that makes us feel uncomfortable. This is OK unless the thing/s you are shying away from are what YOU NEED TO DO to make your dreams a reality.

If this is the case you have 2 choices:

  1. Continue to shy away and miss out on your dreams and ambitions in life.
  2. Face them head on, get stuck in and put the work in. 

The choice is yours.

Dare to be Alpha

Alpha Dave