Are You Making Business Too HARD For Yourself?

Are you making building a business or creating a successful life too HARD for yourself?

Do you often find yourself procrastinating on your daily tasks and to-do-lists?

Do you find yourself continuing to “put off” those tasks that seem hard or those actions that would have you feeling more uncomfortable if you did them?

Are you telling yourself that building a business is “hard” work and that it’s going to take years before you see any real return?

Have you said to yourself, “I need to get out of my comfort zone more, I’m NOT doing enough or pushing myself enough”?

If you have ever said any of those things to yourself I am hear to say, you are potentially setting yourself up to FAIL!

The motivational mantras and success gurus out there tell us that we NEED to get out of our comfort zone to create success and that life begins outside of the comfort zone…

This is total horse SH*T.

 

The problem is that we mix these worn out success lines and phrases into our already fagaile, negative self talking mindset.

On average 80% of the thoughts we have as humans are negative.

So pile into that more phrases and thoughts that make us feel like we aren’t good enough, that what we are doing isn’t enough and that we have to not feel fear anymore to create success, is just making the situation worse.

On a daily basis, people are getting up and telling themselves that they aren’t good enough, or that they are lazy, unmotivated, that they aren’t working hard enough…

These leads down a road of constant procrastination.

Then to top it off, at the end of the day they feel guilty because they haven’t worked on their business, done their to-do-list and instead have spent the day scrolling the internet instead of building a business…

Then the fear kicks in and the negative self talks starts again.

This cycle is breaking more business ambitions globally than the COVID-19 pandemic EVER will.

 

What’s going on?

 

What’s going on here is you believe you need to be a outside of your comfort zone to create success…

But you have an ‘inner competing commitment’ inside of you that it telling you not too.

The example I give is;

You want to cross the road, you are standing on one side and you can see that when you cross the road and reach the other side that all the success you want is over there waiting for you. You know that’s exactly where you want to be.

So you go to cross the road because all your motivation and inner desire is there in you, But as you step off the curb you stop and you notice all the cars, vans and traffic that is flying up and down the road.

You hesitate because you start to feel fear, How can you cross this road safely now?

Your fear is your inner competing commitment because it’s keeping you safe, but now you feel guilty and like a failure because you can’t overcome that fear and move.

You start to question your entire personality and everything you think about yourself. Before you know it you’ve worn yourself down with added stress, anxiety and crippling self doubts.

Now you think success is only for the brave, those who don’t feel fear and that you aren’t enough, so what’s the point. Fear has won!

You end up sitting on that curb frozen or turn around and go back to what you know, flight.

When in actual fact the answer was there all along and what you didn’t realise was that you don’t need to try and rush across the road and be brave.

You need to take a step back and take a break. Accepting that you want to get to the other side but you don’t need to risk yourself to get there.

By taking a step back and looking around you notice there’s a footbridge that crosses the road to your left. You can take the foot bridge and safely cross the road WITHOUT getting massively out of your comfort zone. That footbridge (alternative route) was there along, but because you weren’t lifting your head up you didn’t see it.

 

You can create success by “moving” in your comfort zone.

 

See the powerful word here is MOVE!

We create success by doing, by taking action, by moving.

If you move inside your comfort zone, complete actions that you feel comfortable doing and that still align to building your business, then you WIN.

When we feel fear we often freeze, we procrastinate and we put off the doing part. Then we do something that makes us feel relaxed or brings the stress levels down…But what we didn’t do was move positively.

If we move inside our comfort zone and we take consistent action then this creates success far quicker, easier and in a much more fluid way.

Building a business, getting in shape, speaking on stage, putting yourself out to the world, posting on social media, running a marathon…These aren’t easy and they all come with a level of commitment and self discipline required.

However we don’t need to slap the “It’s hard” label onto them.

If I’m not a runner and I want to train for a Marathon, I don’t tell myself that today on my first day of training that I need to run hard and I have to run 26 miles…That would be madness right?

I just tell myself I can go out and run 1 mile today. One mile is in my comfort zone because I know I can run or at the very least walk 1 mile. But when I run that 1 mile today I grow in confidence because I completed it.

This gives me momentum to run 1.5 miles next time.

We can choose to approach ANY goal we have and do it with more ease and enjoyment, it’s a state of mind, it’s about finding our footbridge and taking that one step at a time.

 

Thank you for reading.

 

David

Overcoming ANY Self Doubts, Fears and Judgements

Self doubt, fear of failure and worrying about judgement from others is the real bermuda triangle that once most people enter too deeply, they rarely come out the other side!

Any of those has the ability to cripple our dreams, ambitions or inspiration in a heartbeat.

The amount of conversations I have with Men about why they are struggling to reach their goals or what’s potentially stopping them even starting, is often because they feel challenged by one of more of the below:

1) Self doubt and feeling they lack confidence in themselves, lacking in their self worth and question whether they are enough or good enough.

2) Fear of failure and looking like a failure to others, what will people think or say?

3) And lastly they worry about judgement or criticism from others such as; Partners, family, friends, peers, social media followers etc, What will people think or say if I do this?

 

Have you ever said or felt anything similar to the above?

 

If you have, here’s the big dilemma…

 

You’re probably in a conflict with yourself.

 

Conflict between showing up in the world more impactfully to follow and create your life’s dreams…

And struggling with one or more of the limiting beliefs you have created around why you CAN’T do that.

So you end up feeling STUCK between these two places and unable to move!

 

I know this feeling all to well.

In 2018 after I qualified as a professional coach, I had the ambition, I had the qualifications and I had a powerful message I wanted to share with the world, But I was in conflict with my own self doubt and fear.

 

I would repeatedly say to myself;

“Who the hell am I to coach other people on areas such as life and business, what do I know?”

“Who will listen to me anyway, I’m too young”.

“What will people think about me doing this, they’re probably going to laugh about me behind my back?”

These words going over and over in my head constantly causing me to procrastinate, feel stuck and then become increasing frustrated because I wasn’t moving forward.

 

So what’s the solution?

 

Well in all honesty there isn’t a short cut. There’s no, do X,Y and Z and heypresto you’re fixed,

But…

YOU can start creating awareness around your OWN thoughts and limiting beliefs.

 

When I’m coaching my clients they are able to breakthrough their mental barriers because of impactful and powerful coaching conversations.

The reason this works is because I listen to them, listen to what they’re really saying and I help them gain perspective on the situation via powerful questioning.

If you scroll back up slightly and re-read the thoughts I had in my head as to “why” I couldn’t build a coaching business, you’ll notice that I am asking myself questions.

The problem is the type of questions I’m asking myself are poor quality and because I keep asking these same “types” of questions I continue to get the same self defeating answers,

And this is what happens to all of us.

 

We continue to ask ourselves poor quality, self defeating questions and we get the same response, resulting in us staying STUCK.

 

If you struggle with self defeating thoughts, self doubt, limiting beliefs or fears then one way to get beyond this is to create the space to listen to what you are saying and asking yourself.

Writing it down is very important.

Then gain some perspective on WHY you think this way, is there any truth to what you are saying?

The minute we get the thoughts out of our head is when we can actually gain perspective on them and in many ways, challenge them.

 

THEN…You can ask yourself world class questions such as:

  • Who am I if I’m being everything I am fully capable of being?
  • Why did I start this, what is my true intention?
  • Given the situation (fear, doubt) what am I going to create?

 

These are just a starting point to start you on a path of reframing the questions you ask yourself.

 

My bigger purpose is to help men show up in the world as the very best version of themselves…

 

And for me to live out that, I had to start showing up for myself. This started by challenging my self defeating thoughts and ideas I had about myself and got factual perspective on everything with the help of a coach.

 

If you are stuck right now or disheartened in your pursuit of success and it’s down to the thoughts and ideas you tell yourself, Then start with the above questions or message me direct for deeper support.

Thank you for reading

David

 

PS:

If you have a go at asking yourself those questions, let me know how you get on with them, I’d love to know.

What Do You Do If You Don’t Have Time?

You say you don’t have time and struggle to find the time to work on your goals…

I say…BS.

I’m not going to beat around the bush here, I’m going straight into it.

You say you don’t have time to work on your goals…I say you’re not MAKING the time.

Let’s break down the ‘lack of time myth’:

– You have 168 hours per week…WE ALL HAVE THIS. Everyone from you, to Bill Gates and Serena Williams.

– Sleep for 50 of them (average 7hours per night)

– Work for 40 of them,

– Groom for 8 of them,

– Eat and drink for 10 of them…

So how are you spending the other 60 hours, or more specifically 8.5hours per day?

Let’s say you have other commitments, longer working hours, family, gym, commuting to work etc.

ALL that taken into account are you REALLY telling me you don’t have JUST 60 minutes spare per day to work on your dreams?

JUST 7hours per week MAX. 

If you read this and say “No I still don’t have time”. Then my advise to you is your goals aren’t enough for you because if you can’t carve out a little time to work on your dreams then your dreams aren’t for you.

That’s all it takes to get started, 60minutes per day to to work on your dream body, life, business, career or whatever your ambition is.

For most people to find 60minutes extra per day just need to stop mindlessly scrolling Facebook or Instagram and they’ll find time.

Imagine if you just did 60minutes today on your goal, that’s an extra 60minutes you’ve spent on your goal today than you did yesterday. By doing this you are now at least ONE step closer to the outcome you want.

Everything in life in HOW you view it from your perspective. This is partly what MINDSET is.

Someone says; “I don’t have time”.

I say; “You’re not making time”. All because we are both looking at it from different angles.

Change the way you view things and this will transform how you spend those valuable minutes.

You’re either moving closer to your dreams or further away and this comes down to your value of time and how you use it.

Alpha Dave

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