Stressed and Burned Out, Here’s WHY I Work With Men.

Have you ever been in that place, mentally, physically or emotionally?

That Stressed out or mentally and physically burned out place?

Maybe you’re in a struggle right now with both of these.

I speak to so many guys at business events or online who tell me they’re struggling right now and don’t know what to do, so they just keep trying to plow on, head down and ‘Get On With It’.

Or they have been broken and have started to put themselves back together again.

To be fair you could also be in a place of feeling stressed out, lost and overwhelmed but you’re not on your knees…But perhaps you’re just struggling with clarity, direction, energy or confidence because of it.

The issue I’m bringing up here is that at some point in time we are all going through, will go through it it or have gone through stressed, burn out, anxiety and maybe even depression.

I’ve been there myself.

I’ve been so stressed out I was lashing out. Taking my anger and frustration out on my fiancee.

I was in that place where all I wanted to do was discover what the hell I was doing and where I was going with my life…Sounds so simple right?

Probably one of the hardest things I ever had to do because I was looking in all the wrong places. It’s almost like you can see the signs, the lack of sleep, the anxiety, the stress, the anger, the frustration, the delusion…BUT it’s hard to pull yourself out of it.

I was always thinking that “When I get this, or make this much money, or get here in business…Everything else will take care of it’s self”

How WRONG I WAS.

It just didn’t matter what I did, I couldn’t figure it out.

And because of this, everything else I looked at in my life wasn’t up to standard…My own perspective on the situation.

I would look at other parts of my life and recent them. I even resented the success of my fiance whose career was taking off whilst I was stuck.

I was becoming bitter under the surface whilst smiling on the outside.

And you know what?

I look back now and I’m like, who the hell was that guy?

I can say I have come out the other side of this, but it was no miracle cure. It wasn’t like I read one book or took one course and BOOM my life transformed.

I did 2 years of solid soul searching and self-discovery.

I did 2 years of serious self-development.

I did 2 years of getting to know me, all my insecurities, self doubts, fears, judgements, emotions, self awareness…As well as all the things in my life that are great, my success, my achievements, what makes me happy.

I just worked on me.

Now I don’t think it takes that for everyone, some people it can take a few months, some people a life time and I guess everyone else in the middle.

This is why YOUR Journey is your journey and no one else can say…

HERE, I can fix you in 5 steps.

I always smell BS, and I bet you do too!

What it does take to start is awareness of the problem, or awareness that you even have a challenge.

Being aware that you are stressed, struggling and maybe even burned out.

After awareness, it’s clarity.

This is why I put my Man-Unleashed together in the first place.

I wanted to create a place, a program and a coaching environment where men could go and develop who we are, in a non judgemental space.

I know what it’s like, I struggled to be open and honest round others. We see it as a sign of weakness, right?

However, it’s actually a sign of strength. To say you are struggling, to be honest and open and ask for a little help…IS STRONG.

To be your true and authentic self and put that person in life…IS STRENGTH.

So I’ve created a program that can enable men to be open about their struggles, get clear on who they want to become and then map out a way of getting there…

WHILST being their true selves.

I work with men because I have been ‘that’ guy, the guy who on the outside looks like he had it together but on the inside was crumbling.

I got myself together, and I’m still working on who I am…I eventually found my voice and the self confidence to put it out there, so helping other guys to do the same.

WHY?

So these men can show up to each part of their life and live life as the very best version of themselves. Be the best farther, husband, friend, manager, boss, colleague, leader they can be.

David

PS: If you are a man who has read this and it resonates with you and you yourself are feeling challenged in life and not where you want to be, Message me at wilkinsondj@hotmail.co.uk . 

What The Hell is Personal Development

What the hell is Personal Development and why should you care?

Personal development for me is about growing and enhancing a person’s self awareness, capabilities, skills, behaviours and self confidence to uncover and unleash someone’s full potential.

It’s helping a person get past their limiting beliefs or self doubts and in truth it’s about getting MORE out of yourself so you can DO, BE and ACHIEVE all you are in any area of Life, Business, Career and Body.

In short personal development is about growing as a person in one area of life or all areas. However I believe for the BEST results its about levelling up in every area.

What I teach my clients is that their goal is off in the future, a bigger ‘thing’ they are trying to reach or accomplish. So compared to their goal they are smaller, further away and currently NOT ready to achieve it, Because if they could…They would have already.

It’s like taking on their own mountain but having to learn to climb first to reach the top.

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Knowing where you are right now is about establishing reality and current positioning, any coach that BS a client at this point isn’t helping them, they are hindering them. Knowing where you are, warts and all is essential.

So personal development is what bridges the gap between where you are right now and the goal you desire.

It’s centred around growing as a person in mind, body, skill, capabilities and confidence so you can conquer that goal. It’s you levelling up and becoming more as an individual…So now you are capable of attaining and owning your goal.

 

Without self development we wouldn’t have laid the foundations to reach our goal or hold on to it.

Any worthwhile goal is achieved this way, hence why personal development is critical.

I base my coaching around developing people and helping them get more out of themselves…More than they ever thought possible so they can set goals, increase their capabilities and then own the sh*t out of their goals.


The Process

My approach is based on 3 critical steps to show a person how to develop towards their goal/s:

  1. Clarity

  2. Confidence

  3. Performance


Clarity

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This is about gaining clarity around who you are and what you want. This for me is essential and was one area of life I was really stuck in. I just couldn’t get clear on who I was or what I wanted.

Often this is the part people miss and they design their wants by what others around them have or do. They basis their requirements off what they ‘think’ they should do or have and worse still what society or social media dems to be right.

This is making people feel more lost, isolated and frustrated than ever before.

By doing some deep self discovery work you can understand YOU, who you are and what life you want to experience everyday. In all honesty your career, business, income, home, relationships and lifestyle are behind this in order of clarity.

This part is about you and knowing what turns you on, what makes you tick and what inspires you. Everything else is there to enable this to happen.

Clarity is very difficult to achieve on your own because it requires you being asked great questions by a coach that can help you think deeper and really question yourself.


Confidence

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Another essential piece to the puzzle because a lack of self belief is the number ONE reason most people don’t achieve their goals or start in the first place.

A limiting belief, fear, doubt or insecurity is holding more people back from going after what they truly want than any other barrier.

So building self confidence, awareness and emotional intelligence is huge. A big part of my coaching is build around becoming self assured in who you are and what you are capable of. This is much more than just reciting positive talk. It’s about practising self confidence and knowing you.

Yes confidence is practised. I will have you look at any area of your life right now you feel confident and comfortable in. May be its work, or a hobbie..

Now ask yourself how long have you been doing that for? What makes you confident at it? How many hours have you put into it?

Confidence is partly about discovering yourself. Partly about doing something over and over to get better at it, and…Well you’ll have to become a client to find out the rest 🙂

Once you build self esteem you’ll be unstoppable.


Performance

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The final piece to the personal development system is performance.

Increasing your performance is essential because you can not become all you can be with the same habits, mindset, behaviours and actions you use now, Think about that.

There will be certain behaviours and habits you have right now that help you and you’ll be able to move forward with. However some are hindering you and you’ll need to ditch them or maybe you can re-shape them into better habits.

Increasing performance is all about optimising how you Think, Act, Behave, Eat, Move, Sleep and Produce to enhance you as a person. Giving you greater energy, clarity, focus, production and awareness…And reducing stress, overwhelm, fatigue, burn out and procrastination.

Once you have the clarity and the confidence, NEXT you require the high performance habits that will get you doing what you want to do every day to get you to your objectives.

I coach my clients how to enhance what they do so they can set out each day fully equipped to take it on.


What Next?

So the goal or objective you have set for yourself will become achievable once you can do the above 3 steps, Add into the mix; Strategic planning, breaking down limiting beliefs, accountability and daily action steps and you have yourself one hell of a system.

Are you frustrated because you’re struggling to gain clarity around your next career or business move?

Do you struggle with self confidence when it comes to making certain decision or actions?

Are you an ambitious person but feel lost or like you’ve reached a ceiling and not sure what to do next?

Would you like to become a more effective business owner or leader to reach a higher level of income and success?

Do you want to reduce stress and self doubt WHILST gaining balance in your Life, Body and Business for more fulfilment, value and success?

If so, then I am here to help!

If you are a corporate professional or business owner I will take you through a personally tailored program that meets your needs.

No more living or playing the game of life at an average level…It’s time to become all you can be.

I will work with you 1-1 for 3-12 months to help you get more out of yourself personally and professionally than you ever thought possible.

If you are interested in what I offer and would like to speak further, then message  at wilkinsondj@hotmail.co.uk or contact me via LinkedIn HERE

 

WHY Time is The Wrong Metric For Evaluating Work

Time is the wrong metric to evaluate work productivity.

For as long as we, organisations and businesses continue to put the intention on time being a viable way to assess work productivity, we will continue to miss out on how to get the very best out of ourselves and people.

It’s not about how much time you work it’s about how effectively you use that time.

Optimise your energy, productivity and work space for maximum results and to #winyourday

So what ways could we optimise our work productivity to ensure we get more done in less time?

1) Check emails first.

Ok there are a boat load of books and guru’s out there that say, don’t check email until lunch time. I get why they say that…

BUT…

Sometimes you might get an email that requires your attention, that if left a minute longer could burn down your day, business or other. Sometimes your messages are something you need or are working on, so checking them later in the day doesn’t really sit.

HOWEVER checking them at the start of your work day and then giving them a priority level would be more effective.

Label what emails need direct attention, what emails need and can be done later and which ones you don’t need to respond to at all.

Be more effective with what you do. You can use Gmail for this.

2) Get creative head space.

If you work in an office or a place where you are or can be constantly bothered then doing creative work in there if going to be a ball ache.

You need clarity and space to do creative work.

I like to be able to go to my local coffee shop and get my head down for 3hours and do my creative work there. For people that are self employed this is Zen because it gives you space. Or maybe go to your favourite place for productive work.

If you work in an office and need to do creative work then is there somewhere you can go to create head space?

3) Turn Your Notifications OFF.

Nothing worse than getting plugged in for a day of work and then constantly having your phone binging or beeping all day.

Social media and email notifications are designed to get your attention and more often than not they will. Each little break in distraction takes on average 64 seconds to get you back into what you were doing.

So if that phone or even on your computer is going off every 10-15min just image how many mental distractions that’s giving you throughout your work day.

Get those notifications off and phone on silent.

There’s a time and a place for social media.

4) Get moving.

A study showed that for every 3hours we sit down in a row each day without moving we can over time take 2years off our life span.

It’s no joke that periods of sitting is damaging our health, our backs, necks, joints, metabolism, digestion and well-being.

The key, get up every 60-90min and move for 3-10minutes. Go for a walk, stretch, do some squats, do something. Have fun and be creative with the movements you do.

It’s great for a mental and physical break and you’ll feel the benefits when you return to your desk.

5) Drink water.

Yeah this is obvious but I doubt many do it. When sitting at your desk have a 1lire bottle of water and aim for 2 of these per day. Have a sprinkle of sea salt in for your minerals.

Get that brain hydrated.

Just a few simple tips for optimising your work space and productivity for maximum results.

David

PS: Check out details for my upcoming event for how to Win Your Day by optimising each part of your day and life.

Click the link for details:

https://mailchi.mp/18dc5a77e2fb/optimialevents

 

The Struggle in Business is REAL

If you’ve been in business long enough you’ll know that it’s a roller coaster of ups and downs, wins and knockbacks.

There are times when you’re on top and then times when you feel like you just want to close the doors and walk away…It’s certainly not for the faint hearted.

Overall it’s usually a mixture of passion, drive, fun and a pigheaded attitude that keeps us going. That sense of something I’ve created, built and achieved is a huge driver for people. As well their ability to partly control their income, energy and future.

A driving passion that gets up on a morning is helping people with the skills, influence and knowledge I have, supporting them towards their goals and dreams.

During a performance coaching session with a client of mine who has recently set up their own business with a colleague it became apparent the early issues they face.

Where are we going, how will we get there and what is expected of us by and for each other?

The same can be true for you in business in both a partnership setting or on your own.

Managing your expectations and commitments to your work, self-management and productivity is king.

This newly formed business partnership started because they had a common passion and drive to create something amazing and they know they have a place in their market for it.

They have the skills and knowledge in their field, however running a business is a different animal all together.

So here’s what was discovered in my clients session:

They need to get clear on the following and have this completely mapped out to avoid bigger issues, fall outs and challenges down the line.

  • Where are we going? (Vision)
  • How will we get there? (Strategic plan)
  • How will we track our individual performance? (Their working performance)

 


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No.1 The Vision for your business is critical. Without it you will continue to just tread water and stay frustrated with your lack of direction and progress.

Especially in a business partnership knowing the vision of the company is key and that both people are pulling in the same direction.

Everyone thinks they have a vision but a recent survey of business owners suggested that less than 30% of them are crystal clear on the objectives and future of their business.


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No.2 The Strategic Plan. How will we get to the vision? If one person has one view point and the other has their own, then there will be is a continuous butting of heads. This is the major issue my client faces right now.

One party believes in doing it ‘this’ way and the other ‘this’ way. Its creating friction and a lack of progress. Neither are right or wrong, this issue is they aren’t on the same page.

Mapping out HOW to best get to the objectives of the business that include both parties is key. This is what we are working on in coaching and doing some facilitation to solve.

If you have your own business you won’t have this issue because you’ll make the final decision. However what you might struggle with is selecting the best plan for you and actually sticking with it. Food for thought.


Performance

No.3 Personal Performance. This is how your work in monitored. In a self employed basis you might measure yourself against a simple metric of money in vs money out. The business is growing if I have more money in than the previous month or year.

That’s the very basics of what you want to measure your self performance against. Getting KPI’s in place is key for ANY business owner. Discovering what these are can sometimes be a little trickier.

How will you measure your performance and ultimately the performance of your business?

In my clients case they need this for each other because there’s nothing worse than one person who feels like they are doing more for the work than their partner.

KPI’s need to be put into place to manage expectation levels and to have a standard of ‘This is what you do and this is how you know what you’re doing is working’.

It’s not complicated but it can be easily missed.


 

Opening a business is exciting especially at the start because the possibilities are endless. You can feel the energy and drive coming off you in spades at the start.

In all that excitement ensure that the BASICS are done, the above 3 are just the start of that.

Regardless if you are on your own, a partnership or a team, getting those 3 things right at the start will save you huge headaches down the line.

The work you do ON your business isn’t just on marketing, sales and creating more programs/services…The work is also creating the vision, the plan and how you will get there and measure/track this along the way.

It’s not always sexy but it is essential.

David.

For my Business Performance Coaching services information and to find out more head over to:

https://davidwilkinsonperformance.com/business-coaching/