Overcoming ANY Self Doubts, Fears and Judgements

Self doubt, fear of failure and worrying about judgement from others is the real bermuda triangle that once most people enter too deeply, they rarely come out the other side!

Any of those has the ability to cripple our dreams, ambitions or inspiration in a heartbeat.

The amount of conversations I have with Men about why they are struggling to reach their goals or what’s potentially stopping them even starting, is often because they feel challenged by one of more of the below:

1) Self doubt and feeling they lack confidence in themselves, lacking in their self worth and question whether they are enough or good enough.

2) Fear of failure and looking like a failure to others, what will people think or say?

3) And lastly they worry about judgement or criticism from others such as; Partners, family, friends, peers, social media followers etc, What will people think or say if I do this?

 

Have you ever said or felt anything similar to the above?

 

If you have, here’s the big dilemma…

 

You’re probably in a conflict with yourself.

 

Conflict between showing up in the world more impactfully to follow and create your life’s dreams…

And struggling with one or more of the limiting beliefs you have created around why you CAN’T do that.

So you end up feeling STUCK between these two places and unable to move!

 

I know this feeling all to well.

In 2018 after I qualified as a professional coach, I had the ambition, I had the qualifications and I had a powerful message I wanted to share with the world, But I was in conflict with my own self doubt and fear.

 

I would repeatedly say to myself;

“Who the hell am I to coach other people on areas such as life and business, what do I know?”

“Who will listen to me anyway, I’m too young”.

“What will people think about me doing this, they’re probably going to laugh about me behind my back?”

These words going over and over in my head constantly causing me to procrastinate, feel stuck and then become increasing frustrated because I wasn’t moving forward.

 

So what’s the solution?

 

Well in all honesty there isn’t a short cut. There’s no, do X,Y and Z and heypresto you’re fixed,

But…

YOU can start creating awareness around your OWN thoughts and limiting beliefs.

 

When I’m coaching my clients they are able to breakthrough their mental barriers because of impactful and powerful coaching conversations.

The reason this works is because I listen to them, listen to what they’re really saying and I help them gain perspective on the situation via powerful questioning.

If you scroll back up slightly and re-read the thoughts I had in my head as to “why” I couldn’t build a coaching business, you’ll notice that I am asking myself questions.

The problem is the type of questions I’m asking myself are poor quality and because I keep asking these same “types” of questions I continue to get the same self defeating answers,

And this is what happens to all of us.

 

We continue to ask ourselves poor quality, self defeating questions and we get the same response, resulting in us staying STUCK.

 

If you struggle with self defeating thoughts, self doubt, limiting beliefs or fears then one way to get beyond this is to create the space to listen to what you are saying and asking yourself.

Writing it down is very important.

Then gain some perspective on WHY you think this way, is there any truth to what you are saying?

The minute we get the thoughts out of our head is when we can actually gain perspective on them and in many ways, challenge them.

 

THEN…You can ask yourself world class questions such as:

  • Who am I if I’m being everything I am fully capable of being?
  • Why did I start this, what is my true intention?
  • Given the situation (fear, doubt) what am I going to create?

 

These are just a starting point to start you on a path of reframing the questions you ask yourself.

 

My bigger purpose is to help men show up in the world as the very best version of themselves…

 

And for me to live out that, I had to start showing up for myself. This started by challenging my self defeating thoughts and ideas I had about myself and got factual perspective on everything with the help of a coach.

 

If you are stuck right now or disheartened in your pursuit of success and it’s down to the thoughts and ideas you tell yourself, Then start with the above questions or message me direct for deeper support.

Thank you for reading

David

 

PS:

If you have a go at asking yourself those questions, let me know how you get on with them, I’d love to know.

Her Words; “I didn’t sign up for this, David”

“I didn’t sign up for this, David”

Her words punching me in the gut as she packed her bags.

For 6 straight years my schedule was crazy.

I was working 14hr days.

I’d jump from client to client … to even MORE clients.

And with what “free time” I did have was spent putting out fires and dealing with staff issues.

I was going balls to the wall. No excuses.

Every single day I invested all my TIME, ENERGY and EFFORT into building a successful business.

Don’t get me wrong, I was generating serious money.

And it was nice to look in my bank account and see all those zeros.

But do you know what?

I was exhausted.

I don’t just mean a bit tired, or in need of a lie in on a Sunday and I was good to go again.

I’m talking:

 Sacrificing friends, family time and even my mental health for the sake of the business.

 Working 16-hour days, 7-day weeks, and giving up on the idea of holidays for a few years

 Trying my hardest to quiet the negative inner voices, eliminate all self doubt, and showing up motivated, even when all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed.

 Removing my emotions, keeping on ploughing forward and essentially “manning up” the whole time.

On the surface, I looked content, happy and in control.

But deep down, the chaos inside my head, and the stress and frustration… it was ruining me.

I was being crushed by business-induced panic attacks,

I couldn’t sleep on a night due to heart palpitations, worrying about staff, marketing, business operations and everything else I had going on.

I remember one morning my alarm piercing my ears and shocking the life out of me at 0430am.

I just lay there completely paralyzed and couldn’t get out of bed. I said to myself “is this it?”

Man, I felt lost. I was completely burned out. I felt completely disconnected from everything.

My girlfriend couldn’t stand who I’d become.

Her words… “I didn’t sign up for this, David.”

But I’d try and provide rationale for my actions:

“Next year will be different”

“If I can just get a few more clients, everything will be ok”

And I’d do what 99% of every other businessmen do…

Try and justify it to my partner by saying “I’m doing this for us.”

But guess what she wanted?

Me.

Yes me, not the fancy bag, the fancy house or the nice cars.

She wanted the guy she fell in love with all those years back!

Not the David who was glued to his phone at 10pm every night.

Thing is, earning more money in business is almost too appealing to pass up…

So it’s a bit of a dilemma to get balance in your life, right?

Well, maybe not.

 

Let me explain.

 

What if you WERE able to break free of the ball and chain of business and unlock the power in your business, marriage and health like you’ve never had before?

If you could do that, then you’d be able to:

 Break free of self limiting, sabotaging behaviour patterns and be able to stay calm amongst the chaos of business and life.

 Win back 5, 10, even 20+ hours per week, giving you the kind of business (and lifestyle) you’ve always dreamed of.

 Drastically reduce stress and overwhelm (you’ll be kicking yourself when you see how simple this step can be).

 Create certainty and confidence in business, free up more time and energy to reach more people, serve more customers and finally “make the impact you’ve dreamed of making”

 

Which could sound too good to be true.

 

But it’s not.

 

And it took me until 2019 where I was at a business seminar and the guy’s story resonated so powerfully with me that it completely changed me in an instant.

Which allowed me to overcome my own self-doubt and fears to ultimately build the business and life I’d always wanted.

It’s actually what I want to share with you in a free online masterclass for ambitious business owners.

In the class, I’ll be revealing some of my most powerful tactics, strategies and systems.

But it’s not just me that uses these systems…

I’ve helped hundreds of other business owners use them too.

And now they’re scaling their income while working less
and breaking through every plateau in their business, marriage and life without being a slave to their business.

Better yet, they’re doing it using something called the “C4 Method” (that I’ll share with you) which arms them with systems to get a handle on their feelings and emotions, and finally crush any self-doubt, while unleashing unstoppable motivation that never runs out.

All while creating stability for their families

 

Would that interest you?

If it would, make sure you register for the free online masterclass for ambitious business owners on Tuesday 12th May @ 8pm.

 

You’ll discover how to do everything I’ve talked about here, and more.

 

Just click the HERE to register and I’ll see you there