What The Hell is Personal Development

What the hell is Personal Development and why should you care?

Personal development for me is about growing and enhancing a person’s self awareness, capabilities, skills, behaviours and self confidence to uncover and unleash someone’s full potential.

It’s helping a person get past their limiting beliefs or self doubts and in truth it’s about getting MORE out of yourself so you can DO, BE and ACHIEVE all you are in any area of Life, Business, Career and Body.

In short personal development is about growing as a person in one area of life or all areas. However I believe for the BEST results its about levelling up in every area.

What I teach my clients is that their goal is off in the future, a bigger ‘thing’ they are trying to reach or accomplish. So compared to their goal they are smaller, further away and currently NOT ready to achieve it, Because if they could…They would have already.

It’s like taking on their own mountain but having to learn to climb first to reach the top.

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Knowing where you are right now is about establishing reality and current positioning, any coach that BS a client at this point isn’t helping them, they are hindering them. Knowing where you are, warts and all is essential.

So personal development is what bridges the gap between where you are right now and the goal you desire.

It’s centred around growing as a person in mind, body, skill, capabilities and confidence so you can conquer that goal. It’s you levelling up and becoming more as an individual…So now you are capable of attaining and owning your goal.

 

Without self development we wouldn’t have laid the foundations to reach our goal or hold on to it.

Any worthwhile goal is achieved this way, hence why personal development is critical.

I base my coaching around developing people and helping them get more out of themselves…More than they ever thought possible so they can set goals, increase their capabilities and then own the sh*t out of their goals.


The Process

My approach is based on 3 critical steps to show a person how to develop towards their goal/s:

  1. Clarity

  2. Confidence

  3. Performance


Clarity

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This is about gaining clarity around who you are and what you want. This for me is essential and was one area of life I was really stuck in. I just couldn’t get clear on who I was or what I wanted.

Often this is the part people miss and they design their wants by what others around them have or do. They basis their requirements off what they ‘think’ they should do or have and worse still what society or social media dems to be right.

This is making people feel more lost, isolated and frustrated than ever before.

By doing some deep self discovery work you can understand YOU, who you are and what life you want to experience everyday. In all honesty your career, business, income, home, relationships and lifestyle are behind this in order of clarity.

This part is about you and knowing what turns you on, what makes you tick and what inspires you. Everything else is there to enable this to happen.

Clarity is very difficult to achieve on your own because it requires you being asked great questions by a coach that can help you think deeper and really question yourself.


Confidence

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Another essential piece to the puzzle because a lack of self belief is the number ONE reason most people don’t achieve their goals or start in the first place.

A limiting belief, fear, doubt or insecurity is holding more people back from going after what they truly want than any other barrier.

So building self confidence, awareness and emotional intelligence is huge. A big part of my coaching is build around becoming self assured in who you are and what you are capable of. This is much more than just reciting positive talk. It’s about practising self confidence and knowing you.

Yes confidence is practised. I will have you look at any area of your life right now you feel confident and comfortable in. May be its work, or a hobbie..

Now ask yourself how long have you been doing that for? What makes you confident at it? How many hours have you put into it?

Confidence is partly about discovering yourself. Partly about doing something over and over to get better at it, and…Well you’ll have to become a client to find out the rest 🙂

Once you build self esteem you’ll be unstoppable.


Performance

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The final piece to the personal development system is performance.

Increasing your performance is essential because you can not become all you can be with the same habits, mindset, behaviours and actions you use now, Think about that.

There will be certain behaviours and habits you have right now that help you and you’ll be able to move forward with. However some are hindering you and you’ll need to ditch them or maybe you can re-shape them into better habits.

Increasing performance is all about optimising how you Think, Act, Behave, Eat, Move, Sleep and Produce to enhance you as a person. Giving you greater energy, clarity, focus, production and awareness…And reducing stress, overwhelm, fatigue, burn out and procrastination.

Once you have the clarity and the confidence, NEXT you require the high performance habits that will get you doing what you want to do every day to get you to your objectives.

I coach my clients how to enhance what they do so they can set out each day fully equipped to take it on.


What Next?

So the goal or objective you have set for yourself will become achievable once you can do the above 3 steps, Add into the mix; Strategic planning, breaking down limiting beliefs, accountability and daily action steps and you have yourself one hell of a system.

Are you frustrated because you’re struggling to gain clarity around your next career or business move?

Do you struggle with self confidence when it comes to making certain decision or actions?

Are you an ambitious person but feel lost or like you’ve reached a ceiling and not sure what to do next?

Would you like to become a more effective business owner or leader to reach a higher level of income and success?

Do you want to reduce stress and self doubt WHILST gaining balance in your Life, Body and Business for more fulfilment, value and success?

If so, then I am here to help!

If you are a corporate professional or business owner I will take you through a personally tailored program that meets your needs.

No more living or playing the game of life at an average level…It’s time to become all you can be.

I will work with you 1-1 for 3-12 months to help you get more out of yourself personally and professionally than you ever thought possible.

If you are interested in what I offer and would like to speak further, then message  at wilkinsondj@hotmail.co.uk or contact me via LinkedIn HERE

 

What Feeling Exhausted Taught Me.

I wrote the below blog in 2014 and it STILL rings true today…

What feeling exhausted taught me today.

 

So this morning after a 5am alarm call (I hate getting up before 6:30am, it’s not good for me)

I rolled out of bed, got ready and made it into work.

Standing there this morning as I waited for my double espresso to pour out I had all these feels

Of being overwhelmed.

I was feeling like I had so much to do and not enough time to do that, you’ve almost certainly felt this way before right?

I was thinking there’s just so much work to be done to make DH fitness into the life changing company it can be.

Also thinking about how much I want to be the best athlete I can be
As I sat there sipping my coffee, both these feeling were followed up with doubt, fear, overwhelm, dread and stress.

Right there and then I stopped myself in the moment that point where you catch yourself

And I said to myself…

…What if all I do is being better today than I was yesterday?

Let me say that again

What if all I do is be better today that I was yesterday?

Because let’s face that’s all we have, the now, the today

The past is over right, we can’t change that

The future isn’t really ours to own or change either.

Yeah we can plan, organise, dream etc.

But we really only have today and right now.

So instead of me thinking how can I improve all these areas in my life and stressing the f**k out about then, I just though…

What can I do today to be better?

An immense weight lifting from me,

So today I’m going to do one thing to inspire one person (might even come from this blog that’s why I wrote it)

Its might be during our team training and development session today
Or it might be a member of dh fitness…either way all I need to do to know I’m on point today is inspire and motivate 1 person.

As for my journey to being the best athlete I can be

All I’m going to do is go and train and give it the best i’ve got, nothing more and nothing less…That’s all I can ask of myself.

Thanks for reading the ramble

Alpha Dave, Aiming to be the best version of myself one day at a time.

My Next Crossfit Competition

My next Crossfit Competition will be this Saturday and I’ll be competing at the ‘First Means Everything’ Finals.

My focus and mindset going into this competition is to give my absolute best and I will leave ‘everything’ I’ve got on the competition floor.

As they would say “The hay is in the barn”. I’m the most physically and mentally prepared I have EVER been for a competition and this Saturday will be my opportunity to put all the preparation to the test.

However it’s the journey that pushes me.

See the goal does not matter as much as we believe it does. Regardless of size, scale, time frame, why you want it etc…None of this matters as much as the process…aka the journey.

The journey we undertake to move us towards our goal/s, that’s where we must excel. That’s where we must find happiness, joy, fun, freedom, contentment and personal growth.

The goal will never be the be-all-end-all, it’s the journey that should make us feel alive, passionate, purposeful.

Sure the goal is important because it gives us direction, something to work towards and clarity of our progress, a kind of test at the end to see how well we’ve performed, or a pat on the back for something achieved.

I could never reach my goals if I hated the process and that’s because it doesn’t matter how motivated I am, if my hearts not truly in it then its not for me.

The purpose of the process is to change you.

 

Will the journey be easy?

Absolutely not, it will test you, push you and move you further out of your comfort zone than ever before because that this is the purpose of the process. The process is meant to ‘CHANGE’ you.

You can not be the same person you are right now today if you want more, better, bigger, happier, healthier, freedom in your life. The very idea of having more means you as a person MUST become MORE.

You need to level up, grow, self develop and move yourself onto a high plain in life. Then once you are committed to this, then the goal becomes closer.

And remember with any goal, once it’s been achieved and then celebrated you’ll always desire something else. This is what makes the greats…Great. They never settle, they never stop, they never stagnate, their desire never stops. When it does they leave that area of life behind and move on.

When the journey stops being your purpose in life, then you’ll discover a new path to follow.

Note, that when you set a goal for yourself and you feel that rush of excitement comes over you with all the possibilities it will bring to your life, I encourage you to start thinking about the journey YOU must take to achieve that specific outcome.

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Consider WHO do you need to become to achieve your goal/s.

What will your daily habits will look like?

What will your weekly schedule look like?

What does your mindset need to become?

Who you will need to bring into your life to support you?

What strengths do you have that will assist you?

What areas do you need to improve?

What skills and knowledge you will need to adopt?

How much this is going to take from your life, commitment level?

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There is a personal transformation you will need to go through to reach your ambitions in life and it will change you.

Be ready for change because it’s one of the only certainties in life.

Alpha Dave.

What Do You Do If You Don’t Have Time?

You say you don’t have time and struggle to find the time to work on your goals…

I say…BS.

I’m not going to beat around the bush here, I’m going straight into it.

You say you don’t have time to work on your goals…I say you’re not MAKING the time.

Let’s break down the ‘lack of time myth’:

– You have 168 hours per week…WE ALL HAVE THIS. Everyone from you, to Bill Gates and Serena Williams.

– Sleep for 50 of them (average 7hours per night)

– Work for 40 of them,

– Groom for 8 of them,

– Eat and drink for 10 of them…

So how are you spending the other 60 hours, or more specifically 8.5hours per day?

Let’s say you have other commitments, longer working hours, family, gym, commuting to work etc.

ALL that taken into account are you REALLY telling me you don’t have JUST 60 minutes spare per day to work on your dreams?

JUST 7hours per week MAX. 

If you read this and say “No I still don’t have time”. Then my advise to you is your goals aren’t enough for you because if you can’t carve out a little time to work on your dreams then your dreams aren’t for you.

That’s all it takes to get started, 60minutes per day to to work on your dream body, life, business, career or whatever your ambition is.

For most people to find 60minutes extra per day just need to stop mindlessly scrolling Facebook or Instagram and they’ll find time.

Imagine if you just did 60minutes today on your goal, that’s an extra 60minutes you’ve spent on your goal today than you did yesterday. By doing this you are now at least ONE step closer to the outcome you want.

Everything in life in HOW you view it from your perspective. This is partly what MINDSET is.

Someone says; “I don’t have time”.

I say; “You’re not making time”. All because we are both looking at it from different angles.

Change the way you view things and this will transform how you spend those valuable minutes.

You’re either moving closer to your dreams or further away and this comes down to your value of time and how you use it.

Alpha Dave

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The Paralyzing Power of Feeling Overwhelmed.

The paralyzing power of feeling overwhelmed and the NEGATIVE affect it has on your life.

The scenario;

We start a new career path or business, or maybe a new training and dieting program and because we are excited and motivated our intention is to do as MUCH as we can.

We want to do it all now and strike whilst our motivation and energy is highest. We feel we can take on the world, We want to be at our end goal NOW…

But because of this do we actually end up biting off more than we can chew or taking on more than we can handle? 

We try so hard to do it ALL, that we end up doing nothing and become paralyzed with feeling overwhelmed.

For example:

We try to do everything on our new diet, following the plan 100%, buy all the recommend supplements, the healthy foods, cooking clean meals, avoiding social events, cutting back on alcohol, sugar etc.

However after a few weeks we realise that we just can’t keep this pace so we end up stopping. Or we adjust the diet to fit and end up doing less and less until we eventually go back to eating how we did before we started.

Let’s say the goal is to get in shape so we hit the gym 5-6 x per week, every week. Doing classes, HIIT training, cardio, weights, core work etc…We try and fit it all in but we get tired, burned out, we miss sessions and then get peed off. The more this happens the higher our chances are of stopping. We started out by doing more exercise than we can physically and mentally handle and the only way forward is to do less. The problem with doing ‘less’ is we can feel like we’re failing.

Maybe we start doing a sport and we try to progress quickly because we want to get good at it sooner rather than later. We try and develop the fitness, the strength, the skills and knowledge that go with the sport, But its a long process. We end up realising that their’s soooo much to it that we haven’t got time to fit it in. So we either continue to feel overwhelmed and underprepared in the sport, feeling like we aren’t good enough…Or we quit.

Maybe we start a new career or open a new business, we start doing everything, reading and learning everything. Going onto courses, building our skills, marketing, getting new clients, networking, branding, tax returns., accounts, sales, employment, trying to get ahead, putting more hours in…The list goes on.

We dive in the deep end and try and swim. We try and keep pace but realise that we are doing everything, and none of it to the standard needed to create a successful business or a flying career. We realise we can’t keep this pace so we feel stressed, burned out, anxious. We start to procrastinate on tasks, decisions, things don’t move forward as quickly as we’d like. So we start to panic, get frustrated and stress ourselves out.

We’re not growing the business at the rate we want. We’re spending almost every waking minute consumed by the business/career. Over time we’ll spend year upon year driving everyone close to us away and all we’ll have is a business/job that you LIVE to work for, becoming a slave to it. And every waking day is just a series of stresses and overwhelm.

In most of these situations feeling OVERWHELMED is the core of it all. This sometimes can become so intense that we end up procrastinating. And this means we end up doing NOTHING…Which makes us feel MORE overwhelmed and stressed… So the cycle continues. 

Overwhelm

Why does this happen?

Because as humans and we already have a full plate in our lives. We’re already doing and juggling so much, especially in the modern world where we WANT to have it all.

HOWEVER we only have so much time, energy and mental space for so many things (Work, Family, Fitness, Fun, Sport, Eating, Sleeping, Social time, Down Time, Personal development)…especially if we want to have everything that life offers.

So what SHOULD we do?

“Swing Singles”.

The key is to take small BUT consistent swings at life, or put differently just take one step at a time…aka Swing Singles.

The aim is to do JUST ONE THING, OR TAKE THAT ONE STEP that moves you closer to your goal/s. And ONLY one thing until this becomes a permanent part of your daily routine

Then once we’ve done that we can focus on the next step WHILST continuing to do step 1.

For example:

+ If you want to improve your nutrition then change ONE eating habit. For example eat a healthy breakfast 6 days per week for 4 weeks. This ingrains the HABIT. Just do ONE thing. Leave everything else until you can consistently eat a healthy breakfast. Don’t worry about lunch, dinner, snacks etc. Don’t worry about gluten and sugar content right now. Just nail down 1 meal. Get that right first and THEN move on.

+ If you want to improve your fitness and you DON’T exercise right now, then start with doing 10minutes of exercise 3 x per week. If you do exercise then just increase what you do by 10%. So if you run 5miles 3 x per week then run 5.5miles. Avoid trying to add in 1-2 more sessions per week, or trying to go 5 x per week. You’re got to do things that are manageable. Start small then build up.

+ If you want to grow your business choose 1 AREA to work on and do this consistently for 4 weeks. If it’s sales that could be make 1 phone call to a perceptive client 5 days per week for 4 weeks. Then do 2 per day and so now. Ingrain the habit of ‘DOING’ into your schedule.

It sounds so simple…And it is in theory.

What makes this strategy work is YOUR doing something that will have a positive affect on the area of life you wish to improve. Doing something that is manageable and then ‘doing it’ over and over again (swinging singles) until it brings results.

Results aren’t achieved by hitting a ‘home run’ every once in a while or trying to keep hitting them over and over even when you keep missing. This one hit wonder mentality and trying to do it ALL in one go, is what’s leaving you feeling more overwhelmed because you continue to miss the long term results.

The key is to keep hitting that ball for a single. Then move to base one, then hit it for another single and you move to base 2 etc etc. I’m using a Baseball metaphor to describe Swing Singles…But I think it fits really well.

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Most people try this all or nothing approach. It’s all in at 100%. But then after 3-4 weeks or so motivation drops and every week they end up doing less, 90%, 80%, 70% etc. Until they end up doing ZERO…Sound familiar?

However when you swing singles the approach is to do 10% this week, then 20% next month, then 30% and so on. We continue to move forward and do MORE…Not do less.

Once you have that one habit ingrained into you and your DAILY routine for about a 28day time period…Then start the next habit, swing that next single. And repeat the process…This strategy works. 

Swing singles everyday and that is when the magic happens.
Remember you are human, your not a robot. You can’t keep doing more and more, you’ll burn out, get overwhelmed, stressed and frustrated…Then you’ll quit.

Flip this on its head, do less now. Start small and build upon these habits over time.

The art of swinging singles is the secret to LONG TERM success.

Alpha Dave