What Do You Do If You’re NOT Good Enough?

Throughout your life you will come up against hurdles and challenges you weren’t prepared to face. Things that will derail you from your goals if you allow them.

There are going to be times when you just aren’t enough to meet your goals. You won’t be fit enough, strong enough, smart enough or experienced enough to attain the outcome/s you want.

Even with all the fuzzy motivational, affirmation, “You can do it” BS out there the facts are as simple as black and white.

  • Sometimes in life you just won’t be good enough to meet the mark.
  • Sometimes you’ll go after a goal in life and you will miss it.
  • Sometimes in life you’ll go after a new job and you’ll be rejected.
  • Sometimes in life you’ll go after attaining the outcome you desire and you won’t be good enough.

All the wishful thinking, positive mental attitude and reciting affirmation over and over again WON’T bridge that cap between where you ARE…And Where you WANT to be.

HOWEVER…

This is not the time to quit or tell yourself you aren’t enough.

This IS the time to MAKE yourself good enough.

I don’t care what people out there say, If you are willing to put in enough effort, hard work, sacrifice, commitment, positive moves, adjustments, work on yourself, your mindset, body, confidence and build the right support network around you…

There’s very little you WON’T achieve.

Of cause we’re not all made to be LeBron James, or Usain Bolts. Genetics does play a part in some physical and mental capacities.

BUT..

It’s easy to quit and put off your dreams by saying,

“Well he or she was born that way”. “They have better genetics than me”. 

Or, “They’re lucky”. 

Or, “They have it different to me, my life’s different”. 

These boring, worn out excuses are easier to recite as a way of explaining peoples lack of commitment to their success…Than it is to roll up the sleeves and dig deep.

You have a choice, When you miss the mark on your goals and aren’t enough to reach them right now, you can either hide away in your shell and spout off BS excuses…

OR you can get your head down and MAKE yourself good enough.

– This is the time to train harder, push further and do more than your competitors are willing to doing.

– This is the time to get your head down, learn more, study harder, make adjustments to your social life and become more educated.

– This is the time to put the work in, pay your dues, work smarter and get experienced within your profession.

Through hard work, consistent effort, sacrifice, patience and some sheer grit…IT is the time to MAKE yourself good enough so that one day soon you CAN reach your goals.

There are NO easy quick fix or any motivational quote I can put in here to leave you feeling all fuzzy and warm inside that everything will be ok.

The ONLY way you and I will EVER achieve our ambitions is if we make ourselves do it and make ourselves GOOD ENOUGH to have them.

Alpha Dave

It’s Not What You Do…It’s How You Do It.

It’s not what you do…It’s how you do it that counts.

Have you ever heard this saying before…

“How you do something is how you do everything”. 

For any entrepreneur, athlete or professional how you do ANYTHING is how you do EVERYTHING, It’s the STANDARDS you hold yourself to.

This relates to everything from your:

  • Character.
  • Attitude.
  • Professionalism.
  • Commitment.
  • Mindset.
  • Positivity.
  • How you deal with adversity.
  • Work ethic.
  • Determination.
  • Organisation.
  • Communication skills…The list goes on.

 

Let’s take attitude for a moment and use it in a context of a persons outlook and approach in life, And lets take it on something very simple like ‘time management’.

If you’re in business and you are always LATE. Late for meetings, late for clients, always have people waiting for you because you have poor time management this becomes a reflection of your attitude.

When it comes to those people who are doing business with you then your poor time management reflects on their opinion of you, how might conduct business and your standards. So they COULD get the opinion that you don’t value their time. That your product and service may also be late in delivery or service. That you can’t stick to time frames and schedules. That you may promise things and not deliver on your word.

All of these have consequences on whether people will continue to do business with you now and in the future.

All because you we were late for meeting/s.

How you do anything is how you do everything. 

So flip this on it’s head and let’s say your early for your meeting.

You’re punctual, You’re well prepared. They’re business matters to you. Your smart, your attitude is one that cares.

This then reflects on how they perceive you are in day to day business and it all comes down to something as simple your time management, because it’s the standards you hold yourself to.

How you do something is how you do everything. 

And this goes for athletes, business owners, people you are in a relationship with and anyone you come into contact with.

Your attitude, mindset, positivity, outlook, professionalism, work ethic etc will reflect in everything you do good or bad.

This is why your character is probably more important than your skill and ability level. You could be the most gifted athlete on the planet but if your work ethic sucks then it’s very unlikely you’re going to reach the peak in your sport.

However let’s say you at a good athlete, not the most naturally gifted BUT you work your ass off in training, in recovery, with your diet and never give less than 100% in everything you do…The likely hood of this person succeeding is dramatically increased over the more gifted athlete who has a weaker character.

Working on your character and attitude is just as important as brushing up on your skills and knowledge. And YES character is learned.

Sure we get a lot of it when we grow up and these are instilled in us during our upbringing…Both our good and not so good traits. But we can always work to be an improved human being…

It’s a state of mind.

Aiming to become a better, more rounded person and becoming a master of yourself and your mind is the ultimate personal journey.

Working on your mindset, outlook, positivity, dedication, self control, confidence, humility and commitment will make you a better person, strengthen your character and better in whatever you do in life.

These things just like any skills have to be worked on and improved. And by doing so you’ll grow to that next level in life.

The truth is you can’t have more in life if you can’t become MORE.

What I mean by this is, you can’t have more happiness, success, freedom, love, money, fun, humility, confidence to name a few if you can’t become MORE of a person yourself.

Just by being the same you as you are right now won’t take you to that next level in your life because you won’t grow. And without growth there is no progress.

You must grow as person in all areas and this starts with a desire to be and become more than you already are.

Develop your character and your level of success with dramatically increase.

Dare to be Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Focus on THE PROCESS And You’ll Reach Your Goal.

‘Focus on THE PROCESS and you’ll maximise the outcome you want’.

The process is something many coaches, athletes and consultants focus more on rather than getting fixated on JUST the goal.

Before we jump in let me be clear, Goals are VERY important. Having an outcome you are aiming for gives you direction. However if all we focus on is THE OUTCOME, It can sometimes seem like we’re chasing something that is way way off in the distance.

Our attention could be to far ahead and screwing up us ‘maximising’ what really counts when it comes to us getting the results we want…The here and now.

What’s key is that we focus on the present and what we can control in the NEXT STEP we’re going to take. And this can be anything like;

Your next workout. Your next work presentation. The next meal your going to eat. These are the things you can focus on and CONTROL.

The issue for many people is that they ONLY focus on the outcome they want and miss everything else.

When we set ourselves an outcome that’s only 10% of the picture, it gives us an end point.

What we need next is a plan. A day by day to-do list or better put…A PROCESS.

The process is what we need to do every hour of every day for us to reach the goal/outcome we have set ourselves…The things we CAN control.

The process is what we follow. And if done correctly with the right attention to detail, focus, ability, consistency, grit, positivity and patience then we can have what it takes to reach our goals.

There’s a lot more that goes into this mix than just the goal and its process…However get these right and you’re well on your way.

So lets say you have a clearly defined goal in mind…

NEXT, Start to think about what you need to do to reach your goal.

+ What do you need to learn, what new skills do you need, what new abilities, what technical elements do you need to do, have, know. What knowledge do you need?

+ What coaching or outside support, influence do you need? 

+ What’s the time frame for the goal? 

+ What bench marks will you put along the way to track progress so you know you’re on track? 

+ What contiguity’s will you put in place for when things don’t go to plan or for future challenges you KNOW will come up? 

+ And MOST importantly are you passionate about the process? 

All of the above need to be serious food for thought when it comes to planning ‘how you’ll reach your goal’. And there’s ONE additional part that slots in here…

Your PASSION.

Being passionate about what your doing everyday will make your journey sooooo much easier. And this is the key. You being passionate about the process.

ONLY being passionate about the possibilities of you achieving your goal is going to cause you a lot of problems. As people we tend to quickly avoid things we dislike or that make us feel uncomfortable, This is human nature.

So it’s very unlikely that you’re going to follow a plan every day for the foreseeable future if you DON’T enjoy it or aren’t passionate about it.

Take for example something like, losing weight and getting fit. This is something many people struggle with. They love the idea of being in shape…But hate the application of it. They dislike exercise and dieting. They start off well due to motivation or being inspired. But once this wears off and all that’s left are early morning/late night gym sessions, going out running in the rain and eating clean foods whilst you pass on your nightly beer or glass of wine…It’s easy to see why people quit.

Those who see LONG TERM success with their fitness and bodies are those that love the process. They love exercise or at the very least enjoy it. Eating healthy is enjoyable and makes them feel good. Over time they stay consistent with their process and they end up reaching their goals.

And this is true for ANY goal in life.

The idea of the outcome (GOAL) is what motivated and inspires us to START. This surge of motivation pushes us over the hump and gets us going. However as this fades off we need to be left with passion for the daily process…The daily work. If we are then we are much more likely to succeed.

If we aren’t…Then for 99% of us, we’ll probably quit.

The process is king and where we need to find fulfilment, success and happiness. The goal is the cherry on the top.

When you can EVERY day fully submerse yourself into the task at hand with your only aim to maximise the outcome of this ONE task, and do this day after day consistently…

Mixed with your ability, dedication, commitment, hard work and focus with intense passion…

Then will you reach your full potential.

 

Dare to be Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

It Doesn’t Matter How Big or Small…Progress is Progress.

When we are flying high its easy to stay on track with our goals…BUT what happens when we stagnate for a period and start to struggle?

What can we do to keep us moving forward and NOT quitting?

When it comes to your goals, your ambitions, chasing down your dreams in ANY area of life the MAIN thing we ‘want’ to see and feel happen is…PROGRESS.

If we are a goal orientated person we have a need to feel like we’re moving forward and getting closer to the outcome we want…

And when we are making progress we feel happy.

However when we stagnate for a period of time we think somethings wrong. We stop believing in what we are doing and we can even start doubting ourselves and our journey.

Here’s the thing…

How much progress can and should we make at any given time when it comes to our goals?

Speaking truthfully there is NO time scale for any of us that dictate’s we should achieve goal X in X amount of time.

Of cause we can plan, prepare, set targets for ourselves to attain our goal/s…This then gives us something to work towards. It gives us boundaries, time scales and something to believe in.

However all the planning and preparing in the world ISN’T a guaranteed science.

The time it takes to achieve your goal/s is so varied that NO one can ever truly say how long it can or will take.

And this goes for ANY goal from losing 2stone to something like winning an Olympic Gold Medal.

All we can ever truly hope for is progress…The feeling of moving forward or getting somewhere near the outcome we want. 

The speed of that progress is affected both directly and indirectly by us.

—————————————————————————————–

For an example let’s take something like aiming to drop 2stone.

At first the progress can be quite fast.

Losing 2-4lbs per week. By adding in exercise and eating healthy the weight comes off quickly over the first 2-4 weeks. This person loses a stone in around 4-6 weeks.

Then as they start to work on losing the 2nd stone things start to slow down.

So they up their training intensity and eat a little heathier.

They continue to lose weight but it’s slower, 1-2 lbs per week.

Then they reach a point where they stagnate, the last 6lbs. They have lost 1 1/2 stone’s in 8-10 weeks but now those last few lbs won’t shift.

However as they continue to exercise and because of this they are stronger, fitter, they wake up on a morning and feel energised. There skin is clear and healthy. They feel happier and healthier than they have done in years.

So they’re STILL making progress with their body and health, so progress is still being made.

—————————————————————————————-

Here’s where the magic happens…When we see positive improvements in ANYTHING from;

Body, fitness, strength, business, relationships, income, self confidence…

We are MUCH more likely to keep doing the things that are making those improvements and when we stay consistent so over time we eventually reach our goals.

BUT the key to success is continuing to work on your goals when your progress has stagnated. This is where MOST people stop, give up or quit. It takes a very committed person with the right people around them to push through in times of self doubt and struggle.

The way to look at this is this…If you keep going, stick at it, make small adjustments to certain areas and stay patient then eventually you’ll break through the wall and move closer to your goal. 

BUT if you quit, give up, stop trying then you are guaranteeing that you’ll NEVER reach it. 

 

The aim is ALWAYS to keep going because progress is progress and it doesn’t matter how big or how small that it.

 

If you’re looking for giant leaps forward, big life transforming moments, or over night success then you have probably bought into some BS notion that people are successful overnight. Some media hyped crap that anyone can make it and success is easily achieved without little sacrifice.

HOWEVER…Any successful individual in sport, business, career, love, life has put years and years of hard work, sacrifice, commitment, persistence into chasing their dreams…And all your seeing is their efforts paying off. You’re seeing the fruits of their hard work.

If you desire success and to achieve your goals you’ll need all the above and on top of that you’ll need a lot of…Patience.

Be patient, follow your plan, say focused and make progress. It doesn’t matter how big or how small just keep moving forward.

Dare to be Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is The Social Media Syndrome Screwing us?

The social media syndrome is something that a friend of mine calls it, however I thought it was a great name to explain the social phenomenon that’s transforming how we look at our lives and how we compare it to others.

Now before you get the wrong end of the stick I’m by no means bashing social media, I think it’s an amazing tool. It’s great for interaction, reaching audiences of people we wouldn’t have had access too. It’s a great way of keeping in touch, building brands and your personal brand. And obviously a way for us to stick our noses into other peoples lives…I’m joking about that one by the way…Well not really :-).

However this is where social media gets a bit murky and can have a negative affect on our lives and our possible futures.

I’m personally a huge believer in that you can have almost ANYTHING you desire in life, your goals, aims, ambitions. I say ‘almost’ because I believe you still need to have skills and aptitude towards your chosen path,,,But by no means is it the most vital part of the mix but it goes a long way.

I also believe that if you discover, What you want, you work hard for it, surround yourself with the right people and you have patience then you have a recipe for success.

HOWEVER…

The biggest things you must FIRST discover before ANY of the above will work for you is:

  1. Who are YOU? 
  2. What do you want? 

I 100% believe that you must discover who you are as a person, what you believe, what your deepest darkest secrets are, what your BS is, what your excuses are, what your thoughts are, what your interests and passions are…And TRULY discover who you are as a person.

Once you’ve done this then and ONLY then can you understand what you want from life (your goals). Only then can you know what will make you happy and how it fits for you.

And that’s it right? Its about what makes us happy at the end of the day.

Soooo, here’s where the social media syndrome kicks in.

We scroll social media sites and look at OTHER people’s lives (nothing wrong with that, we all do it). We look at what they are doing, where they live. what car they drive, what holidays they go on, what physical shape they are in, how happy they are, how much money they look to have etc etc.

We scroll through and look at other peoples lives through a very small lense or screen.

Then what? And here’s where it can get off track for some people.

We compare. We compare and start to compete. 

  • Why don’t I have XYZ? 
  • They look happy in their lives and I don’t feel as happy in mine.  
  • Should I upgrade my house, car, holiday home, life, partner?  
  • Do I need to have a six pack or a booty to be attractive? 
  • My sport, competitive times and wins aren’t as good as theres so I mustn’t be as good as an athlete as them.
  • They have more followers or get more ‘likes’ than me so they must be more popular than I am.  
  • I need a new job that pays me more money because I NEED more money? 
  • I mustn’t be fulfilled or happy like this person because my relationship doesn’t look likes theirs.

 

This is just a very brief summary of things that can go through our heads when we get onto social media and compare.

Here’s the thing…

We then start getting trapped into other peoples lives and start building our LIVES around what we THINK we want or what we THINK will make us happy. We follow other peoples social media highlight reel (It’s called a highlight because many people only share the GOOD things on social media) that we forget about WHO WE truly are and WHAT WE truly want.

Our goals, dreams and ambitions get put to one side, or forgotten about as we chase an ‘ideal’.

A life that we probably never intended for ourselves buts it’s what we THINK we should do or have. Its what we assume will make us happy because it is what others on social media are doing. Its the life our friends, colleagues and those we follow have.

And we end up getting LOST.

 – We work jobs we hate just for money we don’t need and forget about our passions and purpose in life. 

 – We buy things we don’t want or need and get into debt over them. Having to work even harder and longer in our uninspiring jobs to pay for these things. 

 – We assume that unless we look like an Instragram model we are unattractive and this has a serious negative affect on our mental health, self esteem, self image and confidence. 

– We think that unless I’m making X amount per year then I’m NOT making it in life, business, career. 

We end up losing the sense of what makes us unique…Our individuality

This is what makes you and I unique. It’s the fact that we have our own mind, thoughts, beliefs, up-bring, dreams, goals and outlook on life.

And we miss this and get trapped into the social media bubble…The Social Media Syndrome.

Its time to lift your head up and start to decide what it is YOU want. What will make you truly happy, unfilled and content?

Ask yourself these questions and take time with the answers;

  1. Who am I?
  2. What do i truly want? 

Answer these questions and understand YOU more and you’re ahead of 95% of the population. More importantly when you know the answers you can work towards YOUR dreams.

This is your life and NOW is the time to pursue what will make you happy in life, purpose, body, relationships and mindset.

Discover your inner Alpha.

Alpha Dave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Confidence Comes From Doing The WORK.

 

I know I personally ‘lack’ confidence in something or an area of life, sport, business etc when I haven’t put the practise in.

So if you’re unconfident…How do you become MORE confident in yourself? 

Because the lack of THIS might ‘just’ be the difference between you opening your dream business, going for it in your sport or pursuing your life’s ambitions…

OR you continuing to put it off or you telling yourself reasons as to why you can’t.  

I remember back when I was in secondary school I was a shy unconfident person. To the people who didn’t know me they would probably say I was shy and quite. I was different with those around me, my close friends and family I was the normal outgoing Dave. This is because I was practised in their company. They took and new me for who I was.

But from the outside looking in I was shy and I was worried that people wouldn’t like or accept me. I just didn’t think there was anything special about me. This comes from a self worth issue.

HOWEVER…

This had to change because it affected me when it came to being outgoing. I struggled to get to know people beyond my close circle and struggled even more so with the opposite sex. This became more apparent the older I got and the more into my teens. I just lacked the self confidence to go up to a girl and talk to her.

As I went through School and then into Collage I also new I wanted to work in health and fitness, I wanted to coach people for a living. My dream of becoming personal trainer and a group instructor was in my opinion was going to be affected by my lack of self confidence.

So I did what I thought was best…I threw myself in at the deep end.

I pushed myself to do the work. I contacted a guy who was looking for Boxercise class instructors to assist him in coaching his sessions. I had the skills, I had the knowledge but around new people I was shy.

I remember turning up at this guys first class, I thought they’ll be 15-20 people there max and it won’t be so bad. How wrong I was.

I walked into a class of over 100 people. To say I was put onto the back foot is an understatement. At first it was all about assisting him, but he told me he wanted me to start coaching the classes…I was crapping myself.

But it was a case of teach the class, or quit. But for me quitting is not an option, especially when its just a self doubt issue.

Bit by bit i was introducing myself more to the clients. I practised the workouts and movements at home. I was pushing myself to get my personal skill and with it confidence levels up so I’d be ready to coach.

See I’m a HUGE believe that confidence comes from DOING…Not ‘just’ from listening to motivational tapes, videos or speaking to a therapist. Sure these ALL help…But for me, it comes through DOING. Getting in there and giving it a go. At some point the theory and talk has to stop and the DOING needs to start.

And when you do this you’ll either know its for you and you can continue to get better…or you’ll shy away from it and move onto something else.

F**k it…I jumped in.

My first class, there were almost 90 people in the room and I though…”Screw it, it’s sink or swim time”.

I got in there and gave it all i had.

Was it perfect? Hell No.

Was I crapping myself? Hell Yes.

Did I eventually go on and coach more sessions and deliver a class to over 130 people? Hell Yes I did.

And that was it for me.

LESSON LEARNED:- Anytime I lack confidence in myself, when I come up against something new, a challenge, a fear or self doubt I throw myself into it and practise it. I put the work in and then do it until it becomes comfortable. 

This mentality has seen me through: 

  • Taking over those Boxercise classes and running them myself. 
  • Trekking to Everest Base Camp for 3 weeks and then running the Mount Everest Marathon at 21 years old. 
  • Travelling the world for 8months at the age of 22. 
  • Starting my first training bootcamp and PT business in over 6 locations around the North East of England. 
  • Opening and co-owning my first gym at 25. 
  • Having the confidence to walk up, meet and talk to the love of my life Helenlee. 
  • Closing down my gym with Helenlee because it wasn’t going in the direction of life I wanted anymore. 
  • Starting a New business in consulting and motivational speaking (What I do now)  
  • Starting competitive Crossfit and training to be a full time Crossfit Athlete. 
  • Going to the European Team Crossfit Championships as part of a team in just over 1 year in the sport. 
  • And the journey continues…

 

Confidence comes from doing the work. We all lack confidence in certain areas of life, especially those that are unknown to us. The ONLY REAL way to overcome these and to get past the fear is through doing.

As humans we are built to be cautious, it’s in our make-up and we will shy away from things that makes us feel uncomfortable. This is OK unless the thing/s you are shying away from are what YOU NEED TO DO to make your dreams a reality.

If this is the case you have 2 choices:

  1. Continue to shy away and miss out on your dreams and ambitions in life.
  2. Face them head on, get stuck in and put the work in. 

The choice is yours.

Dare to be Alpha

Alpha Dave