What comes to mind when you think of confidence?
What’s that ‘thing’ you keep putting off doing or starting because you believe you lack confidence to do it?
Do you just wish you had more self belief in yourself?
When I think of confidence I’m always reminded of my lack of it during my teenage years. At school, college and my early working career I can honestly say I was shy. Sure I had friends, But I lacked serious confidence in myself when it came to meeting people, putting myself out there, meeting girls and pushing myself for jobs.
A massive turning point came when I was 20 and I was going on a lads holiday, I was working full time in a leisure club but the wages were poor. So I needed an extra income.
So I went down the job centre…Yeah that’s how we use to find jobs back in the day lol.
And I found a job as an assistant instructor helping teaching boxing circuit training but it was in South Shields, I lived in Durham about 45minute away drive. But the pay was ok so I though ‘what the hell’ give it a go.
I called the guy up (Harry) and he said; “Come through, take a look and see what you think of the sessions and we’ll take it from there”.
I turned up first night to take a look and there we’re over 100 people in the session…No joke. I was crapping myself. Harry told me he wanted someone to help him coach and was I interested?
All honestly I was bricking it and almost pulled out, but I needed the money and I needed to get my confidence up as a coach.
So I took that leap and did it. Within 6 weeks I was coaching the sessions, standing in front of 100 people teaching boxing and circuits.
Within 6 months I had taken over from Harry and topped out with a class of 130 people in it.
So how did I go from being a shy guy lacking self confidence…To instructing 130 people?
PRACTISE. Read that again!
The truth is we lack confidence in the things we aren’t practised in, what we lack experience and preparation in.
Take for example; Many people are unconfident in public speaking…Why?
Because they haven’t practised it, they haven’t done enough of it.
Come back and tell me you aren’t confident at something that you’ve done for 50,100, 1000 hours.
The MORE you do something the more confident you become at it.
Repetition breeds confidence.
So here’s my 3 step advice to building self confidence, and building it is the key. You start off small and keep growing it by doing the ‘right’ things that protect yourself self confidence…Then increase it.
1) Take action.
We only feel anxious about something we are thinking about, something that’s just sat on our minds. However if we move, take action, just do something we can no longer feel anxious…THIS IS TRUTH.
Anxiety will leave you as soon as you do something on that ‘thing’…However small your action is.
I called Harry up, I travelled through to South Shields, I helped clients in the session on an individual level. I built up small, I then took small parts of the session until I could take a full session.
These we’re all built up action steps from the first step which was as small as…Going to the job centre. I took action.
Take action and do it small. The smaller the better at the start (only in this case 🙂 )
Just look at the smallest step you can take TODAY that gets you moving forward. You don’t need to move mountains at the start, but you do need to start.
2) Practise, Repeat and Practise some more.
‘Practise doesn’t make perfect but practise DOES make permanent’ and that’s the habit you need. By doing something again and again you’ll remove that fear. In fact you’ll get so good at something that yo\’ll probably end up loving it.
Trust me you can not fear something you have done 100, 1000, 10,000 hours worth of. And even if you do, it’ll be so habitual to you that you’ll just soldier through regardless.
The more you practise something the more natural it will feel.
3) Still struggling with confidence?
Hire a Performance Coach like myself to help you overcome this.
Working with a coach to support you in moving forward towards the goals you desire.
Building the business, body, lifestyle, relationships and happiness you want can be 100% achieved by you, however the process can be simpler, less stressful and more clear with the support of a coach.
A coach can help you work through you’re barriers and limiting beliefs. If you want to move ahead in your life you WILL need to acquire more self belief in YOU. This can be done by working on it.
Affirmations and telling yourself to ‘Be more confident’ or ‘I am a confident person’ work work because theirs NO action to back them up. Habits, routines and a change in your a state of mind is what’s needed.
Trust me, I’m no more special that you are, and if I can do it then so can you.
That one small step I took now allows me to do the same in every other area of life.
Do I still lack confidence?
Of cause I do from time to time. I can still lack self belief in myself.
However I know that if I follow the above 3 steps I’ll get past it. These habits last a lifetime and once YOU have them then they’ll continue to serve you.