I know I personally ‘lack’ confidence in something or an area of life, sport, business etc when I haven’t put the practise in.
So if you’re unconfident…How do you become MORE confident in yourself?
Because the lack of THIS might ‘just’ be the difference between you opening your dream business, going for it in your sport or pursuing your life’s ambitions…
OR you continuing to put it off or you telling yourself reasons as to why you can’t.
I remember back when I was in secondary school I was a shy unconfident person. To the people who didn’t know me they would probably say I was shy and quite. I was different with those around me, my close friends and family I was the normal outgoing Dave. This is because I was practised in their company. They took and new me for who I was.
But from the outside looking in I was shy and I was worried that people wouldn’t like or accept me. I just didn’t think there was anything special about me. This comes from a self worth issue.
This had to change because it affected me when it came to being outgoing. I struggled to get to know people beyond my close circle and struggled even more so with the opposite sex. This became more apparent the older I got and the more into my teens. I just lacked the self confidence to go up to a girl and talk to her.
As I went through School and then into Collage I also new I wanted to work in health and fitness, I wanted to coach people for a living. My dream of becoming personal trainer and a group instructor was in my opinion was going to be affected by my lack of self confidence.
So I did what I thought was best…I threw myself in at the deep end.
I pushed myself to do the work. I contacted a guy who was looking for Boxercise class instructors to assist him in coaching his sessions. I had the skills, I had the knowledge but around new people I was shy.
I remember turning up at this guys first class, I thought they’ll be 15-20 people there max and it won’t be so bad. How wrong I was.
I walked into a class of over 100 people. To say I was put onto the back foot is an understatement. At first it was all about assisting him, but he told me he wanted me to start coaching the classes…I was crapping myself.
But it was a case of teach the class, or quit. But for me quitting is not an option, especially when its just a self doubt issue.
Bit by bit i was introducing myself more to the clients. I practised the workouts and movements at home. I was pushing myself to get my personal skill and with it confidence levels up so I’d be ready to coach.
See I’m a HUGE believe that confidence comes from DOING…Not ‘just’ from listening to motivational tapes, videos or speaking to a therapist. Sure these ALL help…But for me, it comes through DOING. Getting in there and giving it a go. At some point the theory and talk has to stop and the DOING needs to start.
And when you do this you’ll either know its for you and you can continue to get better…or you’ll shy away from it and move onto something else.
F**k it…I jumped in.
My first class, there were almost 90 people in the room and I though…”Screw it, it’s sink or swim time”.
I got in there and gave it all i had.
Was it perfect? Hell No.
Was I crapping myself? Hell Yes.
Did I eventually go on and coach more sessions and deliver a class to over 130 people? Hell Yes I did.
And that was it for me.
LESSON LEARNED:- Anytime I lack confidence in myself, when I come up against something new, a challenge, a fear or self doubt I throw myself into it and practise it. I put the work in and then do it until it becomes comfortable.
This mentality has seen me through:
- Taking over those Boxercise classes and running them myself.
- Trekking to Everest Base Camp for 3 weeks and then running the Mount Everest Marathon at 21 years old.
- Travelling the world for 8months at the age of 22.
- Starting my first training bootcamp and PT business in over 6 locations around the North East of England.
- Opening and co-owning my first gym at 25.
- Having the confidence to walk up, meet and talk to the love of my life Helenlee.
- Closing down my gym with Helenlee because it wasn’t going in the direction of life I wanted anymore.
- Starting a New business in consulting and motivational speaking (What I do now)
- Starting competitive Crossfit and training to be a full time Crossfit Athlete.
- Going to the European Team Crossfit Championships as part of a team in just over 1 year in the sport.
- And the journey continues…
Confidence comes from doing the work. We all lack confidence in certain areas of life, especially those that are unknown to us. The ONLY REAL way to overcome these and to get past the fear is through doing.
As humans we are built to be cautious, it’s in our make-up and we will shy away from things that makes us feel uncomfortable. This is OK unless the thing/s you are shying away from are what YOU NEED TO DO to make your dreams a reality.
If this is the case you have 2 choices:
- Continue to shy away and miss out on your dreams and ambitions in life.
- Face them head on, get stuck in and put the work in.
The choice is yours.
Dare to be Alpha